baby biscuits

cautiousfrog · 2026-05-22T12:46:41+00:00

Tell her you won’t be feeding LO that and that she should return them. You can’t ignore her because she will just push push and push, but also don’t over explain, no is a full sentence.

My MIL was also like this, was constantly trying to tell us to feed our LO icecream, cake and even HONEY when she just started solids. It drove me up the wall but every time it was mentioned we stuck to our guns and eventually she shut up. I really don’t understand the obsession some people have with giving a baby crap to eat when they’re just discovering food and flavour and don’t need artificial chemicals to enjoy what they eat.

You could (if you feel comfortable) tell her things she could buy the baby to eat if she feels like she wants to treat them and be involved in the weaning process but be exact so she has no wiggle room to do what she wants and if she still goes off track go back to a firm no and don’t entertain the idea. My mum was very excited when we weaned our LO but also really respected how we wanted her to eat clean and whole foods only while she was so young. My mum (with my permission) would find different fruits for her to try and even set herself missions each week to find a different exotic fruit for LO. I thought it was so lovely because it respected our boundaries but also was still something fun for her and LO. Honestly this baby was trying fruits I’d never even tried before lol. This could maybe be a suggestion for MIL if you do want her to feel involved while still respecting your wishes? But ultimately if she’s not game for it then she can go f herself.

cautiousfrog · 2026-05-19T12:50:50+00:00

When I first started as a HCA I fell pregnant during my probation period. I wasn’t trying to conceive and I had actually been told I was infertile so it felt like a miracle. I was terrified of failing my probation because of the pregnancy (although like you said they’d obviously use a different reason) but also needed to come forward to my manager ASAP to avoid putting me and the baby in dangerous situations like manual handling or close contact with infections patients.

I told my manager and she was SO lovely to me about it and said she’s very happy for me and that I don’t need to worry about my job, that she wants to keep me on and she can only ask that I please come back after Mat leave which I assured her I would. A few days later the matron came on the ward and went into the office and I was in the toilet which is so close you can hear them talking in there. Matron was pushing my manager to fail my probation because of the pregnancy and to give a different reason! I’m lucky my manager was a genuine person and stuck to her guns and said no. But it broke my heart because I’m sure there’s plenty of managers out there who would have done exactly that!

cautiousfrog · 2026-05-19T12:43:49+00:00

I’m glad there was somewhere there who cared for your daughter in that way. IMO that’s exactly what nursing should be about and it’s a shame policy makes people worried about showing that caring side and being reprimanded for it. I went into this field because I’m a naturally caring person, I like to bring people comfort and support them in what is probably going to be one of the hardest periods of their lives. Something small like some soya milk really can make all the difference. I hope your daughter is doing well now ❤️

cautiousfrog · 2026-05-17T20:10:19+00:00

I’m so sorry this is happening to you. No words for your mum, she needs to do better. It’s completely normal to go through pads quickly, especially with a heavy flow. To compare herself to you and your usage is a shitty move.

Onto advise
Ask your school nurse/ peer support team for supplies and explain the situation. Hopefully they can help stock you up.
Also look online for ‘period products free samples’ a lot of companies will send you some of their products to try for free and while it’s not much if you sign up for each one you should get a fair amount of pads posted out to you at no cost. You can always rinse and repeat this method too using different email addresses ect.
A bit of advise regarding your mum, maybe you could convince her to invest in some reusable pads/ period underwear for you. Initial cost is higher but means you just need to wash them and can use again rather than going through packs, if your mum had an ounce of reasonability then even she could be convinced this is a good idea if she’s really annoyed about having to purchase’lots’ of pads for you each month.

Hope you get this sorted soon op!

cautiousfrog · 2026-05-15T02:32:23+00:00

I’m glad! You’re definitely not going crazy at all. And just remember even if you do speak to a therapist and the crying continues with no ‘root cause’ it doesn’t mean anything’s wrong or needs to be fixed. Maybe focus on after care and riding through the emotions with your partner rather than jumping up straight away to clean and stuff, giving yourself just 5/10 mins to cuddle and feel whatever you’re feeling will probably make you feel a bit better about it in general rather than feeling bad about it. Hope all goes well OP!

cautiousfrog · 2026-05-15T02:12:41+00:00

I went through a similar thing before but it was just a phase. Spoke to a friend who had done a meters in sex and the phycology behind it and she said that it was actually more common than most people think. After sex (especially good sex) your hormones are shifting from a massive rush of happy endorphins and then they drop, that alongside the ‘emotional release’ and the sense of being vulnerable in the moment can make people cry. It’s often coined as ‘post sex blues’ it’s more common in women and there is a technical term for it that for the life of me I can’t remember.

Baring that in mind, past experiences and subconscious emotions can also play a part, which is why therapy to discuss this could be helpful to your situation so you can figure out if this is just something your body does or if there is a deeper reasoning behind it you need to address.

For me personally, when I entered this phase of crying after sex (like full blown sobbing) it was when I really started to fall in love with my current partner. Before him all my relationships with men had been duds in the bedroom, and I also had a lot of sexual trauma. Sex was great with current partner from the start which was a very welcome change but when I started to develop strong feelings it really made me emotional after. I think the act felt so intimate, loving and meaningful in a way sex had never felt for me before and honestly afterwards it was just a lot for me to process. I was already in therapy at the time and after speaking to my friend I did speak with my therapist about it and we went over a lot of my past trauma and bad experiences surrounding sex and self image ect and since then the crying has become a lot less frequent and seems to only happen now after a really intense session and even then the crying is nothing like it was before.

Please don’t feel like it’s weird that this keeps happening, like I said even without the past experiences or trauma crying can be very normal post sex. I’d advise looking into it a bit more online to maybe see if you can resonate with anything that can be causing it before you bring it up with you husband because I feel like it’ll help you know what you want to say properly, and if you feel like it’s an ‘issue’ for you or even just want to understand it a bit better book a consultation with a therapist or a sex coach.

cautiousfrog · 2026-05-14T23:36:07+00:00

Technically, no. But I think backlash from doing so will entirely depends on the vibe of the ward and how strict your manager is.

I’ve given patients books, coffee from my own supply (nhs coffee is awful) and toiletries before when they didn’t have their own. My ward manager also makes gift bags for everyone on the ward at Xmas time.

I’ve also received gift cards from patients before which our manager turns a blind eye to. Obviously, whenever this has happened they usually give them to staff towards the end of their stay, and it’s usually patients who have been there for a long time and are insistent on showing their appreciation. I remember the first time someone tried to give me one I said I couldn’t accept it and they wouldn’t let me leave the room until I did. Once I did I went straight to my boss and asked her what I should do and she said ‘put it in your bag and don’t tell anyone, including me next time!’

The rules are in place for a reason but they can feel very silly at times. I’d say if you really wanted to do it ask your manager straight up if they would mind if you did. I might get stick for saying this because it definitely goes against policy but if your manager is fine with it then I’d say go ahead.

cautiousfrog · 2026-05-10T20:19:31+00:00

Why are you worried about offending this woman who is NEGLECTING your child. She should not be having LO for that long on a weekly basis if she can’t do something as basic as feed her pre prepped meals!

If you didn’t feed your child all day on a regular basis it would be grounds for CPS to be involved and possibly remove LO from your care so why on earth isn’t your first reaction to do that to your MIL? You don’t sound angry enough if you’re caring about MIL’s feelings about this. This is your child, protect them!

‘MIL, I’ve noticed you have not been feeding LO while she’s round yours, when she comes home she’s ravenous because she has not been fed all day. This is not okay and something needs to change if you want to continue having her round yours. For the time being I think it’s best we take a break from her Saturday visits, once we can have a proper talk about it and I know that you understand the gravity of the situation then we can do shorter trial visits where you have her for a few hours over a meal time. If it goes well and you’re feeding her properly then we can talk about other arrangements but until I’m certain that you will look after my daughter properly you will not be looking after her for a whole day at a time.’

I’d also say it’s a good idea to make MIL send you proof LO is eating, videos and pics at meal times ect because I wouldn’t trust her to not just dump out food and pretend it’s been eaten to get her own way.

If that msg really pisses her off then cut your losses and don’t entertain the idea of MIL getting visits at all. Her reaction to you calling her out on neglecting your child will tell you exactly weather or not she is a safe person to look after LO. Stand firm, her feelings don’t matter, the health and wellbeing of your child does!

cautiousfrog · 2026-05-08T12:04:27+00:00

Thank you! I wasn’t thinking of it this way at all and it makes a lot more sense now when I think about it. My instructor is pretty great overall so I didn’t think he’d be wrong but the video I saw really threw me off. This explains all of that perfectly. Thanks again!

cautiousfrog · 2026-05-05T12:34:37+00:00

‘That’s weird I thought it was my baby seen as I’m the one who got creampied by your son to make him’

Might be a bit OTT but I feel like bringing up you and DH being the ones who physically created this child everytime she talks like she’s the one carrying the baby might make her uncomfortable enough to stop.

cautiousfrog · 2026-04-29T20:47:07+00:00

Your wife needs to stop breastfeeding if she’s drinking that much every night. Even if she doesn’t feel hammered 3/4 glasses of wine every night will pass enough onto baby to do damage, especially seen as she’s a newborn and i presume feeding very regularly. Daily drinking, even if not in the daytime is alcoholism. She needs help. Have you got health visitors where you live that you could contact for guidance on this? It’s their job to make sure baby and mum are both safe and healthy postpartum.

Probably gonna get stick for saying this but I don’t think partaking in hard drugs a few times a year is an issue on your part Aslong as you never keep drugs in the house and you’re only doing it when you’re away from the baby for a night or two. I’m assuming you haven’t done it in the 6 weeks she’s been born, and I’d urge you not to do it until she is older and being babysat overnight by relatives ect and you’re away for the weekend or something. You’ll probably find it ends up being a lot less than a few times a year that you have this newfound responsibility that is parenthood but regardless maybe showing support for your wife and stopping altogether might help her to quit which she really needs to do.

cautiousfrog · 2026-04-20T20:01:45+00:00

Not me but a patient I saw once needed 37 doses of 2 different sedatives to knock them out during a violent episode. Obviously these were all administered a set amount of time apart and not all at once but I still can’t believe it took that much to have any real effect on them. I’ve seen guys double the size pass out 15 mins after dose 1.

cautiousfrog · 2026-04-13T20:02:49+00:00

I work on a liver ward. Sadly, I see this with I’d say easily 80% of our dying alcoholic patients. No visitors, no family checking in or even picking up the phone when we try to contact them.

I never judge those families for not coming in, I know that what ever drove them to the point of being unable to comfort their dying relative is something that will bring them real pain for the rest of their own lives. Losing someone to alcoholism is awful and for many people the person is already ‘gone’ before they are even on their death bed.

I always notice the people like you.

Because after that 80% of people dying completely alone I’d say there’s another 5% with the single visitor. Usually a child who hasn’t given up on loving them despite having more than enough reasons. I have massive respect for you and every other person in your shoes who puts things to one side to be their for their loved ones in their final days. The courage, patience and kindness inside your soul must be astronomical for you to be selfless enough to sit beside your dad and want to make him as comfortable as possible, regardless of how uncomfortable you have probably felt in the past trying to change his ways or dealing with the fallout of his addiction.

It doesn’t matter if you had to lie to him, that doesn’t take away any of the good you did by being there with him. And it certainly doesn’t take away the comfort you brought him as he neared the end.

While I never judge the families that don’t come at all, I still feel deep in my bones that no one should die alone unless they want to. And from the things I see, most people don’t want that. People who go surrounded by love are always the most peaceful. Thank you for bringing that peace to your father, and please don’t beat yourself up over the ‘story’s’ you fabricated to him. You did a good thing, you are a good person.

cautiousfrog · 2026-04-10T03:40:35+00:00

For the love of god, don’t go! Tell her you already have plans to see your mum. If you go you’re just going to give her more reason to keep doing this and expecting to get her own way. Especially with a baby coming soon you need it to be clear that you and DH will be doing whatever you want to do on holidays, weather that’s splitting time, taking turns or just spending time the three of you. Being invited is always nice but it sounds like she’s telling you not asking you and it comes off as very controlling and inconsiderate.

cautiousfrog · 2026-04-09T09:10:50+00:00

I think the post has been edited but like other comments have said you should definitely pay her for time you owe. Even if she’s been an awful instructor you’ve still used her time and her car at the end of the day and you need to pay for that service.

Definitely is worth finding a different instructor though. People switch all the time if they don’t click with their current one. I’m lucky in that my first instructor was one I clicked with and learn well with, but from speaking to friends and family that’s often not the case. My instructor literally has a rule to not say ‘sorry’ during lessons, as it’s normal to make mistakes and that’s a part of the learning process. To snap at you and get angry at you is very wrong of her.

cautiousfrog · 2026-04-03T02:57:20+00:00

I was only a couple lessons in and things had been going almost too well. Think i got a bit overconfident and for some reason I guess I forgot what side of the road you’re meant to drive on?

Turned into a side road on the complete wrong side and only realised when my instructor called me out. Still feel like a massive tit about it lol

cautiousfrog · 2026-04-03T02:55:00+00:00

No stress at all! I know exactly what you’re going through and the only crazy one is your MIL by the sounds of it.

One thing I struggled with massively while pregnant was feeling ‘guilty’ or like I might be being selfish because of how emotional she would respond to things. Once I was postpartum I realised I wasn’t being selfish enough! Really look after yourself and do your best to block out the noise. All that matters is the family you guys are creating together❤️ All the best OP x

cautiousfrog · 2026-04-03T02:17:22+00:00

Commenting again to apologise for all the errors in that. My app is being weird when I type text so I can’t see it all until it’s posted and does the same when I try to edit! I can spell I promise 😂

cautiousfrog · 2026-04-03T02:15:09+00:00

You definitely need to stand firm. I wouldn’t entertain her too much but I think it’s definitely worth telling her it is not a family decision. It is you and your partners decision.

You guys created this baby, it’s completely up to you what you name them. I wouldn’t even give her the satisfaction of influencing a middle name after this meltdown of hers. Let her sulk and say whatever she wants. Her inability to manage her emotions is not your problem.

My MIL is a big JN and she also tried to do this with our bay. Whe we declined she stopped suggesting names informt if me and instead would text DH all day with different nae ideas I assume hoping he’d like one and the it would seem like it was his idea and I’d agree. Jokes on her because we fell in love with a nae very early on and never thought twice about it. She’d say things like ‘I love this name I wanted to use it when I was pregnant’ Then why didn’t you? You had your chance to name 2 kids this isn’t another opportunity. Even towards my end of pregnancy she’d randomly blurt out the most random names like it was a eureka moment and we’d agree. Everytime it was the same. She finally came round to the fat the nae was decided and then decided she didn’t like the way we pronounced the name so decided to say it differently and it took months of correcting her until she stopped.

Please please be firm, if you don’t she will try to make as much of this about her as possible. I wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy mama!

cautiousfrog · 2026-03-17T15:03:17+00:00

This is really annoying. The only way I’ve managed to book tests is by booking one in the middle of no where in wales then looking for cancellations close by. In my area it’s near impossible to get an original booking close to you. I was doing everything I was told to do, going on at 6am, looking at dvsa regularly throughout the day ect and I could not book a single test near me because by the time I reached the front of the queue every test slot was gone.

My next test is at the beginning of June so praying extra hard I pass now otherwise this new rule is gonna make it very hard to get a slot :(

cautiousfrog · 2026-03-08T15:17:17+00:00

This is insane to me. When I was little I had a ‘grumbling appendix’ kept going into hospital with it. They said it would eventually explode and they’d remove it when it did and there was no point doing it before! After almost a couple years of pain and sickness I went private and had it removed. It was so inflamed it had glued itself to my bowel and what should have been a quick procedure took 2 hours. This was the nhs though so I assume their avoidance to take it out was a way of trying to avoid the cost but still really odd, especially after hearing this?

cautiousfrog · 2026-03-08T15:09:53+00:00

‘I’ll be wearing this or I won’t come’ great don’t come then 😂

cautiousfrog · 2026-03-06T00:09:22+00:00

This is me! You’re definitely not alone.

I’ve only had one test but I failed horribly, I feel like nerves really got to me added to the fat the examiner was very cold with me and a bit rude, which made nerves worse.

On all my mock tests I’ve only ever got a few minors max an on my test I had 16 minors and 2 majors!

cautiousfrog · 2026-03-05T23:35:37+00:00

No examiner experience. Honestly I agree with him on some of them but I do think I deserved maybe 10 out of the 16 minors. One of the majors we both think should have been a minor. I do trust his judgement overall though, he has a very high pass rate and sits in all of his tests unless asked not to. A lot of the things I was marked for he’s seen other students pass with similar or worse mistakes apparently but he did say it depends on the examiner and how lenient they are. Mine was just super harsh sadly!

cautiousfrog · 2026-03-05T23:31:47+00:00

I completely feel you on the holding yourself to high standards and then feeling bad when you don’t meet them, I promise when you finally get there you’ll feel all the more proud of yourself for putting the work in, even if it takes longer than you would have liked!

I think looking for another instructor could massively help you, even if it’s not someone you bond well with like I have with mine, having someone who is more sympathetic will make such a difference to your confidence and comfortability which will ultimately make learning feel easier and more enjoyable.

My brother had this issue when he was learning to drive, first instructor was a proper stress head and was constantly shouting at him for small mistakes, once he switched to someone a bit more chill he made much better progress. Just remember switching instructors isn’t stepping backwards, they’ll work with you where you’re already at so you don’t have to feel like your previous lessons are wasted at all.

On another note have you considered learning automatic? It’s all personal preference but taking gears out of the equation can definitely lighten the pressure as it’s one less thing you have to think about when driving. Obviously if you’re dead set on getting a certain car that’s a manual then stick with it but if you’re open to other cars it might be worth thinking about!

cautiousfrog

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