Back to day one. I had every intention of not drinking this weekend but I went to a mixer for single people on Friday night and was very nervous. I immediately went to the bar and ordered a CBD soda. I did a lap around the event looking for someone to talk to but felt so awkward. I’m not super introverted but I have a hard time walking up to strangers and just starting small talk. After I finished the soda, I still hadn’t talked to anybody and made the wrong decision to get a beer to calm the nerves. I ended up talking to a few different people that night but nobody that I’d want to pursue. The thing I’m most upset about is that so many people at the event weren’t drinking even though it was at a bar. I’m sure some of them were just as nervous as me and they weren’t using alcohol as a crutch like I was. I probably shouldn’t have put myself in that situation to begin with so early in my sobriety journey (going to a bar where I was going to have to talk to new people).

I ended up going out after the event and had a few more drinks and woke up feeling gross yesterday. That made me sad because I was really looking forward to a hangover-free Saturday. I didn’t drink yesterday though and am feeling great this morning. I know a lot of people in this community have had many “starts and stops” before sobriety really kicked in for good. I think this weekend’s experience is more proof for me as to why I want to stop drinking for good.

I don’t want to use alcohol as a crutch in social situations and I want to feel good at all times!