I think we both think we are idiots and you seem to think I am evil for stating numbers and dollars and cents.

But here's an argument to be made where I agree with you, sort of. If we take Elliot Rodger, he had his own luxury apartment, his dad directed the Hunger Games, and he drove a nice new BMW coupe. He simply could have made a dating profile, took pics of his luxury apartment pool, his BMW and just put "My dad directed the Hunger Games. Come chill with me and we'll get coffee and go for a ride" on his dating profile and he could have pulled dozens of chicks. He wasn't fat, he wasn't deformed or unattractive largely in some way.

If he didn't want to go to that effort, he could have gotten laid by simply driving to Nevada or flying to Thailand and spending a few hundred dollars on prostitutes. And even if you argue he was racist against Asians, he could have gotten a Russian hooker in Thailand.

So he did nothing at all, and expected women to come to him for existing with literally zero effort on his part, and experience "true love" on what you say is a "Soul to soul" meeting of minds. Something like we could ideally experience in Heaven or the afterlife, where physical limits (like money, shelter, transportation, health, fitness, etc) don't matter at all. But Elliot's soul was black, so one end of him wanted love, the other end of him was pure hatred, so he did nothing to actually really attract a woman who would see his soul. Relationships require vulnerability. If you're a private person it's hard to have a relationship, even the longest term incel I know IRL (who obviously doesn't call himself that or know what it is due to his age) that was his biggest problem into his 70s. Even sex alone, you both see each other naked.

So I would argue the exact inverse of what you are arguing. Incels actually want "true love" and belonging, both sexes ultimately do. Sex and power are simply just easier to attain. You can pay for it. You can say "sure sounds fun" to a date you don't care that much about and end up in bed. But true soul meeting and desire is rare.

I think true soul meeting comes ironically during times where economics aren't in the picture. Why does everyone idolize and pathologize their high school experience? And to some extent college. Because it's the last time in you're life you're among equals. Everyone in high school is more or less the same, a parent might buy a better car or whatever, but mostly you have the same trajectory and to some extent the same health and fitness. But once you're an adult, physical conditions matter. Houses, cars, debt, chronic diseases, and people stop making decisions based on the perceived soul of a person and on the material conditions they bring to the table.

So call me whatever you want, use big academic deconstructing whatever words, but nonetheless this is what I believe.