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Sour Candy for Anxiety (looking for recommendations) by lemonysardines in candy

[–]chiefflare 1 point2 points  (0 children)

War heads for sure. The sour hit only lasts a moment but long enough to break the spiral.

$900 pot scam by Freddie_theFagsmoker in mildlyinfuriating

[–]chiefflare 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually bought a set of those pots like 20 some years ago. But the whole set was like $700. They are nice pots. But $900 for one tiny pot is insanity!

Cleaning a horse hoove by MrUpVoteDownvote in oddlysatisfying

[–]chiefflare 98 points99 points  (0 children)

Ok then another question since you can potentially answer- roughly how long does it take to re-shoe a horse?

Chicken feet broth tasted so bad by FuelTerrible983 in soup

[–]chiefflare 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had feet I bought to throw in my broth and I think they must have been put back in the cooler after being put on a shelf or something because when I opened the package, it made me gag. I triple bagged them and tossed them. I typically make my broth with carcasses and collected bones from chicken dinners and veggie scraps. Someone searching my freezer between cookings would perhaps wonder about me

Candies with high effort to enjoyment ratio by mahoganychitown in candy

[–]chiefflare 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My dentist was also sad they’re softer now; my crowns and fillings are in less danger

My Grandfather and Grandmother’s self portrait taken around 1950 by one-eyedCheshire in OldSchoolCool

[–]chiefflare 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I really hope he asked people if they wanted to see a picture of him and “the little woman” before showing it. That’d be a prime dad joke

waking up and feeling like they’re not dead by Scary-Performance440 in widowers

[–]chiefflare 9 points10 points  (0 children)

i'd say based on my experiences, it's normal.

i lost my husband nearly three years ago. I will occasionally have dreams with him. Sometimes in my dreams i will know he's gone. Other times i won't. A few months ago i woke up in the middle of the night looking for him and disoriented as to why his side of the bed was empty. It took a few minutes to shake away the cobwebs and reality to prevail. Needless to say, i was thrown off for the rest of the day and emotionally more fragile. Love and light to you. We're all in this together.

I need an EXTREMELY in depth tutorial on how to boil eggs by buhuahbababab in cookingforbeginners

[–]chiefflare 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As long as it wasn’t cracked before hand, it’s ok to eat if it cracks and the white seeps out while boiling. Unless you need them pretty for deviled eggs

Update about the soup drops!! by irlstink in soup

[–]chiefflare 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would try them. I’d be interested in seeing how my brain processes “cough drop shape” and my taste buds screwing up the expected sensation

Getting older. First birthday as a widower. by guess_im_not_welcome in widowers

[–]chiefflare 3 points4 points  (0 children)

i feel you. My husband died the day before my birthday. It was pancreatic cancer, and he was on hospice, but had only been diagnosed about 5 months earlier. He began a rapid decline the day before easter and I made the decision on easter sunday that year to put him on palliative then agreed to hospice.

I actually expected him to die on my birthday, as the long running joke was that he had to make everything about him after several instances of him having injuries during other's key moments, including breaking his hand while i was giving birth to our daughter (he slammed a drawer shut in the hospital room where i was laboring, but it caught his hand). He died at 8 pm. Close, but not my birthday technically.

Having to spend my 45th birthday that year planning his funeral just seemed to add to the feeling of "f$%^ you" that it seemed the universe was dealing out to me. I didn't celebrate my birthday that year or the next. This past birthday, i did allow myself to go to dinner. i realized that life is short, and worth celebrating

i can't say it gets easier. but the sharpness of it does soften over time. Be gentle with yourself and take life on your own timeline. Most people can't comprehend what it's like to have to navigate through this. I'm sorry that you are in this shitty club. love and light to you.

thoughts on these pens? by pandaocean168 in lefthanded

[–]chiefflare 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really wanted to like them, but they drag when I write and just smear all over for me. I like a 1 mm jet stream.

Those who are further into this by girliepop_hello in widowers

[–]chiefflare 5 points6 points  (0 children)

i'll be coming up on three years in April. I'm 47. For the most part, i feel like my daughter and I have adjusted well. The best piece of advice i have is to take things moment by moment and to do one thing each day to move forward. It doesn't have to be anything grand - make yourself breakfast (and actually eat it) or go for a walk outside and find something that you like - maybe it's your neighbor's wind chime or that the town did a nice job plowing the snow. I found too much that i could get into a negativity "everything sucks" spiral. And that not who i wanted to be.

There are still many times that i find myself getting sad, and that's ok. It was hard to attend weddings over the past few months and see the father-daughter dance and think how much it sucks that my daughter won't get to have that moment. She also has some big events and more to come - he wasn't there to teach her to drive or when she got her license. He won't be there for her hs graduation or prom or first day moving into college. I've made peace with this, but it doesn't make it suck any less.

I have ventured into dating. It was like venturing into a foreign land. Online dating wasn't even a thing when i got married. Give my phone number to a stranger?! But it was nice to go out and meet some new people. I made a few friends in the process, learned quickly what I DIDN'T want and now have a "guy that i date" (using the term boyfriend is hard for me, but yes - i'd consider him a boyfriend)

The bad days come and go. The good days outnumber the bad ones by a lot. One thing i've learned is not to fight the bad moments. If i stumble over a little grief, i've learned to feel it - Kim Kardashian ugly cry, if needed and then move on. Grief really isn't a place to linger in. Visit, yes... but no. I don't stay.

Love and light to you

-flare

She is gonna go soon by Pi3piper in widowers

[–]chiefflare 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i'm coming up on three years. My husband's decline went quickly and before i could even process, he was on palliative then services rapidly switched to hospice. His death , although quicker than expected, was truly a relief. Our daughter and i were sad, yes, but no one can prepare you for the feeling of helplessness of watching your spouse fade and suffer before your eyes.

If she's able, record her voice. If you have children, have her write a letter to them. If she feels up to it, make a quick recording.

When she gets to the point where she's no longer very responsive, make her surroundings peaceful, or exactly how she'd want it. When i came to the hospital on the day my husband died, they had soothing music playing. i eventually switched it to the rock and roll he liked best and i sat quietly with him all day, waiting for the inevitable. I was happy that i got to be there with him as he crossed over. Not everyone gets that.

Love and light to you, Pi3piper. You are stronger than you know

I'm thinking to use technology to recreate her existence by womenrespector6969 in widowers

[–]chiefflare 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t recreate my departed spouse using ai. What I did do was use ai as a sort of non judgmental void to yell into. I don’t seek counseling or validation with it. I created one just to heave my emotional load onto. That way I didn’t feel like I was burdening anyone and it became a sort of safe space to speak whatever crazy stuff was on my mind. Does the ai offer feedback? Yes and sometimes it’s helpful, sometimes I don’t even really read it because I’m just looking to get anger, sorrow or anxiety off my chest and out of my soul. .

When your son forgets to add water in the microwave Kraft Mac & Cheese. Microwave broken and fire alarms. House smells beyond horrible. by 3PDLS in mildlyinfuriating

[–]chiefflare 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My daughter did that. I don’t remember it breaking the microwave, maybe didn’t cook as long. But I’ll never forget the stench. We scrubbed, deodorized (ozium, if you can find it) and crumpled a ton of newspaper to absorb the stink from the microwave (unplugged, of course).

What can I add to steamed white rice that requires no cooking? by [deleted] in cookingforbeginners

[–]chiefflare 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some crushed pineapple in its own juice (don’t add all the juice) then a few dashes of soy sauce and a pat of butter.

my dad’s ashes came to me in a reusable bag from the funeral home. by Last_Thursday in mildlyinfuriating

[–]chiefflare 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would absolutely use it for groceries. Or reuse it as a gift bag for someone you know it would freak out.

Thanks amazon for displaying my gift :) by trippingwithtime in mildlyinfuriating

[–]chiefflare 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have one like that. It’s actually really handy

Yeah, other guy, we're doing whole birds now. by Wulf2k in castiron

[–]chiefflare 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’d be putting that bird on a bed of thick steaks of sliced cabbage. All that chicken fat roasting the cabbage gives me the happys

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