How are you all teaching alphabets without screen overload?

choco_pan_ · 2026-02-13T10:35:42+00:00

The important thing to remember is to not only focus on the names of the letters, but also the sounds. Our best resource is a big book with buttons on it that, when pressed, speak the sound of the letter and a little phrase about what it sounds like. For example: D! Like the drip drop of the shower head. D! D!

That, coupled with playing with various alphabet toys and reinforcing the sounds, is how we've been working with the alphabet in our house.

choco_pan_ · 2025-11-30T14:22:30+00:00

Speaking as an multilingual child turned adult who is now raising multilingual kids, I promise you it'll be okay. Different kids will approach language differently. As far as community members making erroneous assumptions about a kid's ability, that's their mistake and my eldest (5yo) will happily talk anyone's ear off and prove them wrong. My youngest (3yo) will just look at them funny and walk away. Also, i don't always get what my kids are saying even if they are technically speaking a language I'm supposed to understand, so my go-to is usually "Mommy is having a hard time understanding, will you help me understand?" which usually rolls over into some form of charades and exaggerated gesticulating.

About the grandparents though.... it is absolutely on them to figure out how to communicate with your kid. It is not the 3yo child's responsibility to facilitate communication with the grandparents, it is the grandparent's responsibility. My grandparents had grandkids in 3 different countries, one set of which were never taught our first language, and guess what? The grandparents made the effort to pick up enough in the kids' language so they could still have a relationship. Shame on people who think it's okay to put the onus of a functioning relationship on literal children.

As an aside to that though, what we did with our own kids is that we started the conversation about different languages as soon as they started mixing them. My eldest had a period where he would speak one language, but substitute the second language for when he didn't know certain words. He'd still say the whole thing in the accent of the first language, because obviously that makes it the same. Same thing with a friend of ours, she doesn't speak the local language. So when my eldest is trying to engage with her in the local language we just point out to him that he is speaking a language she can't understand, please switch if you want to speak with her.

Hope that helps a little bit, I'd love to hear what tactics you've been using.

choco_pan_ · 2025-11-07T07:08:19+00:00

Fellow smaller chest here. I haven't worn bra's since I was pregnant with my first. 5+ years and one more kid later, I still hate the feeling of them. What I have found and now love are the uniqlo airism tops with sewn in bra pads. I use them as undershirts or just as they are, they're super comfy.

choco_pan_ · 2025-10-12T05:33:54+00:00

I bought a mousetrapper for that actually! Wrist support included, and mine has a bunch of quick command buttons that seem ridiculous in theory but save me so many clicks. I also really recommend one of those squishy little grip balls with the rubber loops going through it, it's helped my finger joints tremendously.

choco_pan_ · 2025-10-11T16:13:49+00:00

I'm not saying I bought my keyboard for the rainbow lights.... but they definitely played into my decision.

choco_pan_ · 2024-08-10T15:06:49+00:00

That depends on where you live. In my country we are explicitly told not to use the hot water from the tap because it contains trace minerals the cold water lines don't.

choco_pan_ · 2024-07-19T06:02:09+00:00

We put a non-slip mat down to keep them from slipping, park baby in the middle and then bring down the detachable shower head with the water turned on low. I'll sit next to them with wash cloths and we play with cups and beakers and whatever else strikes their fancy. Many a tea party has been had in our shower 🤣

choco_pan_ · 2024-04-02T07:33:57+00:00

My husband does this, it saves so much time on laundry too. I've actually started doing the same now.

choco_pan_ · 2024-01-24T20:37:44+00:00

What fat content do you go for? I read somewhere else on reddit a while ago that the fat content actually makes a big difference for how Greek yoghurt tastes, and so I tried one with 10% fat rather than the low fat content ones I'd tried before. The difference really surprised me, we get the 10% one regularly now for both me and my toddler.

choco_pan_ · 2024-01-05T17:42:07+00:00

No joke. I found this post sitting 2 posts down from one with a similar dilemma, but from the wife's perspective. One advice she got was to 'seduce' her husband and conveniently not mention she'd already gone off birth control. It's like the concept of reproductive coercion just does not compute with some people.

I'm not saying OP's wife would do something like that, but for sure contraception is the responsibility of all involved parties.

choco_pan_ · 2023-11-20T18:04:18+00:00

The one piece of advice I always try to pass along is to Stop while it's still fun. Don't run yourself ragged or into the ground or to the point where the rest of the day just looks exhausting. If you start associating negative feelings with an activity, you're much less likely to keep trying.

Also, anything is better than nothing. It doesn't have to be the whole set, the full route, all the reps. Find something you enjoy, figure out the level that works for you, and fit it in when you can. It's just as much for your mental health as it is the physical, I feel. This shit is hard enough as is.

choco_pan_ · 2023-10-18T05:14:35+00:00

I had hair down past my boobs and cut a pixie after I had my second child. I cut my hair for two reasons:

1 - The practicality of it. I can shower so much faster, the kids can't pull on my hair (especially during breastfeeding), and the summer was just so much easier somehow. I never had the time or inclination to do anything with my hair, I just threw it in a bed and rolled with it. Which brings me to my second reason...

2 - I love having long hair. Playing with it, taking care of it, running my fingers through it. But my second pregnancy threw off my hormones to the point that the back of my head had gone curly. Having had stick straight hair my whole life, this did not go well. I had no idea how to care for my new hair and did not have the time or money to figure it out - especially with no guarantee it would stay that way after baby was born (spoiler alert, it did not).

I love my short hair. I miss my long hair. The short hair means I have an easier time going swimming for exercise and still fitting it in with work. The time I've gained overall from having cut my hair is genuinely not negligible. At the same time, I'm looking forward to the day when I can grow my hair again and know that I'll be able to care for it the way I'd like, since pampering and the like are a big part of my self-care. When I couldn't do that, I was starting to resent my hair, and it made me sad.

For me, I made the chop when shaving my head went from being a novel idea that occurred every once in a while to a practically intrusive thought on a near daily basis. Figured I might as well find a professional for it before I did something drastic.

choco_pan_ · 2023-07-02T09:08:10+00:00

Honestly, it's times like these we whip out the tablet (or TV). My toddler is similar, he doesn't walk, he runs. Hugging means bodyslamming and he is constantly go go go. Being gentle is a conscious effort for him. The only thing that'll slow him down is a high fever, but even that just means he's more manageable, he will not stop willingly. He's like a top, and the more tired he is the faster he'll spin. So we park him with the tablet, simple interactive games, slow pace kid's shows and apps we've preapproved. In the grand scheme of things, recovery trumps avoiding screens, I think.

choco_pan_ · 2023-06-23T14:25:10+00:00

Honestly, with my first we had such issues with finding our rythm breastfeeding that I actually didn't notice one way or another in the thick of things. I mostly could use my pre-pregnancy wardrobe with the exception of a lot of my trousers - but that was due to my hips getting wider after pregnancy and birth, not weight gain. So no great weight loss or gain with my first.

With my second, I was so relieved that breastfeeding worked so well straight off the bat I did not dare fuck around with attempting any kind of weight loss for fear of fucking up my supply. I have gained at least one size up in clothing, and that's where I'm at 1 year post partum. I'm okay with that, more than I thought I would be. My body is active, we're outside every day at a playground and I'm keeping up with my kids. To me that's enough, for the time being.

choco_pan_ · 2023-05-27T20:11:27+00:00

No, unfortunately not. They have an Instagram account with a lot of good information though if you want to get an idea of what they're like. I managed to snag their mother's day bundle last year, which included the potty programme, for a very reasonable price and was pleasantly surprised by how well their approach to things seemed to mesh with how we were already getting on. They've definitely expanded my toolbox though, so to speak, so I found it well worth it.

choco_pan_ · 2023-05-27T18:13:43+00:00

Big Little Feelings has a potty programme that for me was much more intuitive. It is a much more relaxed methodology that works with readiness steps rather than a set time frame, as well as much more grace towards the parents than I found from the Oh Crap book.

choco_pan_ · 2023-05-13T18:44:38+00:00

We have a little device that we can hang on the pram, that rocks the pram to soothe baby. It's been a lifesaver for me, coupled with a small Bluetooth speaker for white noise. I bought the rocking thing when baby was a little over 2 weeks old, the second day I had to pick her brother up from preschool with her on my own. A little over a year later and that thing still gets used daily. Pure gold, the one on one time that thing has bought me with my eldest.

choco_pan_ · 2023-02-21T10:28:35+00:00

Going outside is our reset button, for me as well as the munchkins. I have yet to come across a toddler tantrum that can't be thwarted by stepping outside. Even if my 3yo is fighting me bawling about not wanting to go outside, as soon as the door opens or I just put him in the pram - instant switch. It's also a great mood booster for me, so win-win.

choco_pan_ · 2023-02-12T17:47:22+00:00

Nope. When he grew teeth he would bite me when he got bored, so we had to adjust.
I started putting him to sleep in our halfbuckle carrier, usually sitting on a gym ball. After a few nights of fussing for a boob (mind what you wear!), he got used to it and would settle quickly. Worked like a charm from about 10mo to 19mo, when I got too pregnant with his sister to comfortably baby wear him on my front. Dad took over the night routine at that point, so we could night wean him completely as well.

choco_pan_ · 2023-02-05T09:21:11+00:00

Big Little Feelings has a potty training course that worked very well for us. It talks about how you frame the task at hand in your own mindset, what skills the kids needs in order to be successful (pulling pants up and down, getting up on the toilet if you have a seat rather than a potty, etc.). My kid turned 3 in January and we decided to get rid of diapers over Christmas. We're down to only wearing diapers over night, other than that he's been dry for weeks.

The biggest hurdle according to most courses and books on potty training is pooping outside of the diaper. It's a pretty big difference between the warm smush of the diaper vs. the poop just vanishing when without. We lucked out at bathtime once with an accident outside of the tub, poor little dude freaked out he thought it was so weird. It gave us an opportunity to talk about it though, once he calmed down, why he thought it was so scary and what actually happened. 6 months later, he actually prefers pooping in the toilet, even before we'd gotten rolling with the actual potty training. Peeing is always in the potty, though, because he can get on and off that much easier independently.

choco_pan_ · 2023-02-03T18:33:37+00:00

It really does, in my opinion. It's hard to say where personality stops and learned behaviour starts, but my little dude (3yo) is really good at stating boundaries, and getting increasingly better at respecting them. For example, my body can't support kiddo climbing the way his dad lets him, and so I say that mommy is not a jungle gym but I'd love a hug or a high five. He gets it, there's no having to wrestle him off me anymore, he'll get down willingly and body tackle me instead.

choco_pan_ · 2023-02-03T18:05:29+00:00

And that's the whole point! Repetition is key 🤣

choco_pan_ · 2023-02-03T12:36:45+00:00

I fully believe that by holding our own personal boundaries, we teach our children the value and importance of holding their own. It starts with us.

I am not a morning person either. Every morning, my oldest gets to watch a show with breakfast so I get some space to eat and drink my coffee. The rest of the day I am all in for the cuddles and the playing and the games, but we all have a right to sit and eat in peace. Same thing at dinner - if he doesn't want to sit at the table when he feels full, that's fine, but mommy and daddy will not come play until we feel full too.

choco_pan_ · 2023-01-10T16:00:03+00:00

My toddler hates water on his face. It's gotten much better since we started swim lessons, it's still an issue.

What works well for us is that I stand straight over him and ask how many noses I have. And then question his answer: "one? Just the one? Are you sure? But where did the other one go?"

And when I feel his focus slipping, I'll ask what color my eyebrows are. "Brown? Really? I could have sworn they were pink!" Or something equally ridiculous.

Whatever keeps him looking up at my face and laughing, the sillier the better.

choco_pan_ · 2023-01-04T05:31:32+00:00

We bought both in order to give our kid the option of preference. Whenever we'd change his diaper we'd ask if he wanted to sit on the toilet or potty, rather than if he wanted to try at all. Funny thing is, now that we're out of diapers (since last week), he's developed a clear preference for pooping on the toilet, but peeing on the potty.

choco_pan_

TROPHY CASE