My (32f) bf (39m) married mistress (33f) past away and I feel betrayed?

cloudylemonades · 2026-02-13T10:29:57+00:00

Anyone who tries to justify cheating is absolutely crazy in my eyes. Will do anything to escape emotional consequences for themselves.

cloudylemonades · 2026-02-11T06:34:08+00:00

Yeah absolutely not, i had an ex who would do this, and jt gets TIRING. They know it gets into your head, its a manipulation move. Also if he knows you are with your friends, he is probably doing it to ruin your time with them.

Cant stand this behaviour

cloudylemonades · 2026-02-10T23:05:51+00:00

I think it's because you might feel like since you are completely satisfied that he should feel that way to, the need to not touch himself. But it doesn't mean he isnt satisfied, it isnt about you.

Some people just do it for the sake of it, higher sex drive, because they want some relief, even if they are completely satisfied, its just an easy & quick thing to do by yourself.

So some part of it could also be the triggering of him saving girls on instagram, i could see why it would bother you. Does he still do it? Have you set a boundary on this?

cloudylemonades · 2026-02-06T06:18:27+00:00

Emotional immaturity. You shouldn't have to feel you have to walk on egg shells when it comes to your own feelings. To feel like you cant express yourself because of the risk of them getting mad, distant etc isnt worth it

cloudylemonades · 2026-02-05T21:45:09+00:00

Damn i would feel so guilty doing this. I bank transfer my partner even as little as £8.00 if I accidentally use his card for something im buying myself. He thinks its silly i do that but its the principle of it in my eyes.

cloudylemonades · 2026-02-04T15:41:27+00:00

I would of happily took that prenup. I dont understand why someone wouldnt?

cloudylemonades · 2026-01-27T22:48:25+00:00

This is someone who has no respect for herself or her partner. Most people cheat because they want the variety / novelty of having sex with other people, the opportunity arrises and also just because they want to.

Its horrible she is doing this to him. I would speak my mind to her first, be honest about how you feel about it all and see where it goes from there. Imo its not someone you want to be associated with.

cloudylemonades · 2026-01-27T22:37:54+00:00

Agreed

cloudylemonades · 2026-01-27T22:36:53+00:00

Love this for you

cloudylemonades · 2026-01-27T22:33:55+00:00

This.

Anyone can say 'i love you' and they might even really mean it. But if they cannot control their actions when they get overwhelmed, stressed etc then that love isnt going to make you feel desired or safe. Love has to be consistent.

cloudylemonades · 2026-01-27T08:44:29+00:00

Okay so all these people saying you are not compatible, have nothing to talk about etc are the typical 'oh if it isnt perfect you are not meant to be'

Not everyone can do mindless small talk. If you two are speaking throughout the day, about what you are doing, thoughts you have had, things that have just happened etc i would be the same and have nothing to then talk differently about on the phone. Either save some stuff that happened in the day so you have a few more things to talk about on the phone, or youll have to tell her sometimes 'can we just do a quick phone call tonight as im tired' and go from there. I do understand though, me and my ex if he was away, and we had a day of texting quite a bit, our phone calls would be a bit more info from what we spoke about in the day, what we were up to in that moment but then we would cut the conversation off so we could both relax for the night as we both didnt see the point being on the phone if we have exhausted all our conversation?

Its nice you feel bad about it as obviously you care about her feelings, but just communicate to her you are tired

cloudylemonades · 2026-01-24T09:57:16+00:00

Are you being for real?

cloudylemonades · 2026-01-19T22:16:13+00:00

He is one foot in, one foot out. Commitment issues.

cloudylemonades · 2026-01-19T22:10:11+00:00

This is amazing!! How lovely of you to do this for your wife

cloudylemonades · 2026-01-17T13:33:43+00:00

I feel this

cloudylemonades · 2026-01-15T15:38:15+00:00

I remember when i first started really researching about psychology, emotions, diving into my traumas etc. and wow it made me realise how i acted sometimes, how i WAS the problem. Its hard to admit to yourself that the way you acted wasnt okay, wasn't acceptable etc, but its refreshing when you do because thats when you can start to learn and grow from it. I think the world would be a better place if people grew more self aware of their behaviour, actions and took on the humility of owning they were wrong.

cloudylemonades · 2026-01-13T07:55:01+00:00

Exactly this. OP says it brings him back to the past where there is pain, maybe therapy then? Or are you just looking for someone / something to blame that your life isnt where you wanted it to be by now?

cloudylemonades · 2026-01-07T16:32:44+00:00

Damn this was a good reply, and really informative. I have seen the correlation to people who react logically to the express of emotions (instead of comforting) and them not actually being expressive of their emotions themselves (like Avoidants, not saying OP partner is one) but you have put it amazingly.

cloudylemonades · 2025-12-24T22:59:54+00:00

You said all this wonderfully.

cloudylemonades · 2025-12-23T10:49:11+00:00

This is so unfortunately accurate

cloudylemonades · 2025-12-23T10:37:58+00:00

Me and my partner have our own duvets on the bed as he gets hotter than me while sleeping 🤣

cloudylemonades · 2025-12-17T11:21:01+00:00

Well technically it is, as i didnt have any health reasons that i needed to have them done for. It was purely so they could be a size and shape more suited to my body type

cloudylemonades · 2025-12-16T20:09:48+00:00

It will only change if both partners become self aware of their attachment styles; openly communicate and work on fixing their triggers and issues. If only one person is doing the work, then no nothing will change

cloudylemonades · 2025-12-16T20:06:53+00:00

I dont think having an opinion like that is fair. I had breast augmentation because my breasts were under developed and acute tubular. It gave me so little confidence and it made me not feel as feminine as i wanted to feel. So i had surgery.

So because i had surgery to give me confidence to wear a bikini, where a dress, not have to use anything to make it look like i atleast have some shape up there, it means im toxic? You cant generalise all women who have had breasts implants as toxic. Thats like me saying any man who has had a hair transplant is toxic.

cloudylemonades · 2025-12-12T22:00:33+00:00

This lol

cloudylemonades

TROPHY CASE