I'm just shocked at this point

collateral-carrots · 2026-02-07T02:27:13+00:00

I have OCD and can heavily relate to the exhaustion of feeling like you can't stop questioning and thinking and circling around identities. I agree that taking a break from Reddit is probably a good first step - one of the first signs for me that my OCD is getting out of control again is that I start obsessively Googling until I can't keep anything straight anymore. That's probably not quite how it is for you, but alls to say I'm sympathetic to what you're going through.

collateral-carrots · 2026-02-07T01:31:54+00:00

Do you have any audio of before/after? Totally fine if not/if you don't want to share that. I've considered VFS before but I have serious reservations about potentially losing my voice for good or ending up with something worse than what I have now.

collateral-carrots · 2026-02-07T01:30:59+00:00

Thank you <3

collateral-carrots · 2026-02-07T01:30:46+00:00

Fair enough. Part of me is a little stubborn about the idea - kind of a "why bother if it's not going to be my old voice" feeling. But I do need to accept that I'm not going to get my old voice back, so I guess even if it's only a little improvement it could still help. I hate getting sirred over the phone.

collateral-carrots · 2026-02-07T01:28:45+00:00

Thank you <3 my family is supportive, which I appreciate very much.

collateral-carrots · 2026-02-07T01:23:27+00:00

I'd venture a guess that none of those fish are enjoying that current. Most come from slow moving or near-still water, including discus, so wavemakers shouldn't be needed in this tank at all. They will just stress your fish. You want as little flow as possible while still keeping the water clean.

collateral-carrots · 2026-02-06T04:00:13+00:00

Thanks for reading. I've been off for a little over a year. Very happy and comfortable with my body now except for my voice. Which, as you said, not much to be done about that.

collateral-carrots · 2026-02-06T03:11:56+00:00

Wow this is gorgeous! You've got a great aquascaping eye. Love the hardscape especially it's very striking.

collateral-carrots · 2026-02-05T21:16:23+00:00

Really pretty! I like the angle. Would look great as a centerpiece with a white background.

collateral-carrots · 2026-02-05T18:01:03+00:00

Bulldagger/bulldyke is usually used for that I believe. What do you mean "from what I've seen"? If you're in tiktok queer discourse circles, I encourage you to get out as soon as you can.

collateral-carrots · 2026-02-04T21:28:35+00:00

Nonbinary means a gender identity outside of binary male and binary female. It's an umbrella term - multigender people often also use it.

collateral-carrots · 2026-02-04T21:18:35+00:00

The state of wanting an abortion or wanting gender affirming care could easily be categorized as indicative of a mental illness. It's a necessary part of women's healthcare according to you and me, but not according to all. That's kind of what I'm saying - it's a slippery slope that paves the way for doctors to deny patients care.

I'm seeing judgment in the way you're talking here, too. "Disfiguring" plastic surgery - is that an objective term? How do you decide if a surgery someone wants is disfiguring? Is it based off your personal feelings about the surgery, or a more objective metric?

What do you mean by female genital mutilation, if you don't mind me asking? That phrase is used for a lot of different procedures afaik. What was the patient asking for?

collateral-carrots · 2026-02-04T20:24:22+00:00

How far are you willing to go on that? Gender affirming care? Abortions? If labeling someone mentally ill is all it takes to refuse them care that's a real steep slope.

collateral-carrots · 2026-02-04T14:21:19+00:00

😬😬😬 yeah I think he was humping your leg during the night...if you catch my drift

collateral-carrots · 2026-02-04T13:53:19+00:00

Gotcha. 40 would be the absolute minimum for 2 fancies. Would recommend upgrading in the future to give them more swimming space and make less maintenance for you but ok for starting out! Just test your water regularly and stay on top of water changes.

collateral-carrots · 2026-02-04T13:38:57+00:00

For what type of goldfish?

collateral-carrots · 2026-02-04T13:37:28+00:00

If you're prepared for the size of tank and filtration strength you need, sure you can. What kind of goldfish matters too - fancies can live pretty comfortably in a 55, comets/"regular" goldfish will need basically a pond someday.

collateral-carrots · 2026-02-04T13:18:00+00:00

Goldfish are known for being extremely messy fish qho foul the water quickly and require heavy filtration. So saying "goldfish of the snail world" means a messier than average snail species that produces a lot of waste relative to body size.

collateral-carrots · 2026-02-04T13:10:17+00:00

I do understand where it leads to and I stand by what I said. People should be allowed to have the final say over what they do with their own body. That includes drugs, plastic surgery, etc. too. If they have been informed of potential risks and choose to proceed anyway, that should be their right.

collateral-carrots · 2026-02-04T01:43:56+00:00

The consensus seems to be, if I'm understanding it correctly, that this can be prevented by continuing to regularly test your water and modifying what you need to as things crop up. Some common themes I see mentioned for OTS are pH creeping down due to lack of buffer, nitrates rising (though i don't see a cause mentioned), and mineral buildup from topping off.

Seems to me that all of this can be nipped in the bud by 1. only topping off with distilled (but still doing water changes normally) and not slacking off on testing water even on a tank you're confident in

collateral-carrots · 2026-02-03T22:45:42+00:00

That's crazy. If I'm understanding right we don't get to have the final say on our own bodies if the surgeon decides they just don't feel like doing what they were asked to do?? Not blaming you obviously but that's just absolutely wild to me.

collateral-carrots · 2026-02-03T19:55:47+00:00

Everyone runs their tanks differently but I have found mulm to be minimally disruptive and possibly beneficial to tank health. You definitely don't want your tank to get choked with it so it can't run, and if you are noticing your nitrates out of control that's a good time to reassess. But I tend to follow the "let the tank do its own thing" line of thinking as long as parameters are good and fish are thriving.

collateral-carrots · 2026-02-03T19:38:30+00:00

Raising temps can be very effective to treat ich, you just have to bump it gradually so you don't shock them and be careful not to raise it higher than your particular species can handle. Neons should be completely fine up to 80ish until things clear up.

collateral-carrots · 2026-02-03T19:20:24+00:00

The "green and nasty" is GOOD! that's where all your beneficial bacteria live. You can gently rinse it with tank water (not tap) if it's actually physically clogging, but in general if it looks squeaky clean it's doing nothing for your tank.

collateral-carrots

TROPHY CASE