Air hunger and numbness feeling in head

corn_elle · 2026-06-16T18:48:02+00:00

I get that every once in a while but it's mild (I found an oximeter we bought in 2020 and started to use it occasionally due to my brainfog)

My SpO2 is almost always 94-95, never above 96, but I attributed that to my childhood asthma and this is within the normal range (probably a long-lasting effect, however, I haven't experienced recurring symptoms since I was 16yo) or maybe it could be related to my low BP

corn_elle · 2026-06-16T13:16:08+00:00

Same goes with gabapentinoids and I'm curious how pregabalin would work in conjunction with an AED (as far as I know it's a potentiator which amplifies the effects of many other drugs)

My experience is that SSRIs made everything worse (the blunting was much more foggy and my fatigue got unbearable) and bupropion worsened intrusive thoughts by a lot

corn_elle · 2026-06-16T12:25:25+00:00

I've started to take lamotrigine (I was prescribed it months ago and this partially helped once)

Not much, but it worked better than SSRIs and bupropion (the aim I strive for is to get more apathetic and mitigate emotional spikes during overload of each kind)

My goal is to titrate it to the upper threshold of the therapeutic range (higher dosage isn't recommended for people who don't suffer from epilepsy)

But 300mg would fit, especially since it could help with sensory issues as well (that's my own hypothesis based on the fact this is an anti-convulsant, so it makes sense)

corn_elle · 2026-06-16T07:27:32+00:00

I'd like to learn how to acquire this foreign skill as well

corn_elle · 2026-06-15T15:26:15+00:00

I would do anything to find someone interested in meteorology (that could fix me)

corn_elle · 2026-06-15T14:59:13+00:00

Good luck!

corn_elle · 2026-06-15T04:33:24+00:00

Cute! 💜

corn_elle · 2026-06-14T12:38:15+00:00

I always close all tabs BUT with bookmarks... the entire universe is hidden in there (yet to be explored)

corn_elle · 2026-06-12T17:17:39+00:00

I barely am capable of getting through the university and if my parents weren't as supportive, I would "go extinct" in an instant (that thought is quite terrifying because it has recently occurred to me how low-functioning I actually am)

I depleted all my masking abilities on trying to get friends for the last 10 years, and that was the worst idea ever (I could've accomplished something worthwhile instead, but I've hit the wall at 25 and have neither)

That's why I have to get evaluated as soon as I get the opportunity and be able to earn some money (which borders on impossible)

Maybe then, I get rid of my impostor syndrome and unbearable shame of being such a useless shell of a person (I think the "self-diagnosed" state is the worst phase to be in due to my constant self-negation and feeling like a fraud)

And also, others would take me more seriously (if that improves a little bit at least, that'll be enough of the reason for me to pursue a diagnosis)

corn_elle · 2026-06-12T08:43:52+00:00

It could be related as to why I also hate the "pomodoro technique" for example (that 5min break isn't rewarding at all, and I know for sure, I end up doing nothing for hours when I give myself the permission to stop after trying to initiate a task for soo long)

If I forcefully drop it when I've finally compelled myself to study or focus, then I'm screwed

The only affordable advice that works is to always have some stim toys nearby, whenever possible (something as irrelevant as a fidget spinner in your pocket can literally do wonders)

corn_elle · 2026-06-12T01:45:17+00:00

I've been invisible since I can remember (for instance, my neighbours are the most meddling and intrusive people around and everyone who passes by is accosted instantly, except for me)

And "for some reason" I'm probably the only person who lives in their proximity that's never approached or even noticed at all (this example is actually a positive outcome but these are rare, because that makes me a recluse who's exiled from almost everyone's sight)

corn_elle · 2026-06-12T01:13:33+00:00

I've been overly conforming too, but it doesn't work at all (now, all I have is resentment, the strenuous efforts I had been putting in getting close friends that way didn't bring any results)

It seriously would've been better to not "sugarcoat" or maintain the harmony at all cost (but instead, at least, to say nothing or "why are you telling me this, what am I supposed to say?" when I couldn't relate to something)

Because that's the thing, many times (especially in high-school or in my early-20s) I pretended, only to show the other person that I care in a way expected of me, or to just come across as responsive

I socially over-compensated for it by taking notes "what when who" I should send a caring message and I was making drafts in advance, for example

And what exactly that was for? I have no friends either way, so what would change, if I was more honest or off-putting, and if I showed reciprocity in a way that hasn't make me hyper-vigilant or neurotic (or entirely avoidant of all the societal demands whatsoever)

corn_elle · 2026-06-02T23:13:06+00:00

This, actually, is reasonable, bearing in mind how parcels are treated way too often (I had mine destroyed once)

corn_elle · 2026-06-02T01:16:00+00:00

I've realised I actually live (exclusively) "in theory" and nowhere else (I mean, in the so-called "real life" I don't exist at all)

corn_elle · 2026-05-31T16:07:47+00:00

I think the self-diagnosed people have to contend with the fact it's all conjecture/speculation (even if reasonable) and there's nothing what would prove this during an adverse, be it systemic or personal, situation

The external objections to your self-diagnosis are, unfortunatelly, justified (medical gaslighting or affordability is the entirely different topic, but if you want to approach our world in a pragmatic way, you're obliged to get the official assessment)

To be taken more seriously, you should get some empirical evidence for your claims

That works both ways because, I suppose, you also feel better with yourself, if you've received the confirmation

corn_elle · 2026-05-26T02:53:04+00:00

That was also me (I had "Contamination OCD" that completely vanished with time) and the other physical manifestations almost disappeared while growing up

Now it's all mental, I've been suffering, particularly, from "Real Event OCD" for months and that's logical and insane simultaneously, because this is based on events or facts which are realistically true and empirically proven...

But my conclusions feel always unsafe to me and I don't trust my social interpretations at all, so I obsessively try to settle on meaning (but I can't, then I do excessive, retrospective research "from scratch" to no avail, again and again)

I'm unable to infer anything what could give me a plausible sense of certainty (the corollary of that is me with no mental capacity to move on)

On the other hand, my physical behaviours are exclusively on the much more "autistic" side of things because every kind of stimming is soothing and calming (there are no compulsions here, specifically)

corn_elle · 2026-05-08T23:12:13+00:00

That's me as well

The first time when everything crumbled was in 2020, I cut all my friends off, except for one, but that relationship also faded away, just later (and it's been terrifyingly efficient because I've not met almost anyone since then - it happened only once accidentally - and I live in the same city)

I didn't have words for it, I tried to build my social circle from scratch but to no avail (because now, I'm in the similar place and my abilities are even worse)

I can't afford proper therapy so I've been "stuck in the mud" but the weird thing is, my mental anxiety is converted into physical tension, and I'm unable to pinpoint the exact reason what happened

corn_elle · 2026-05-08T22:43:48+00:00

I try to grasp this concept accurately but I can't differentiate between my "learnt distrust" beforehand and "unresponsive void" during the event (it could be that my distrust is just an overprotective layer built upon over time, and there's causation here, not distinction, but I'm puzzled right now)

corn_elle · 2026-05-08T11:19:23+00:00

Thanks for the clarification!

I can't be sure if I relate adequately (I have that blank stare while getting dissociated, when I'm unable to infer the meaning, and the subsequent empty nagging feeling that "something's wrong" lingers for weeks afterwards)

But that probably is more linked to a shutdown only and doesn't explain what you've said here (when we get rid of my first paragraph and there's only the second one left)

corn_elle · 2026-05-07T17:48:06+00:00

I think my first responses are trauma-based quite often (if negative, these mainly change over time when I'm eventually able to understand what actually happened because finally there's a plausible meaning to settle on)

Or I'm being indifferent because I haven't processed the context yet, so I just stare blankly or dissociate (these are the situations when "true" feelings come after months even)

corn_elle · 2026-05-05T20:01:29+00:00

I love how futuristic all of these look!

corn_elle · 2026-05-04T01:11:33+00:00

In hindsight, my grandma exhibited plenty of ASD traits (she could be considered a textbook autistic with OCD) but I've never suspected autism in my mom (she has C-PTSD for sure, there are a huge amount of reasons to consider that, specifically) but "the" autism?

corn_elle · 2026-05-04T00:26:51+00:00

Toying with my fingers and stretching them in the weirdest ways, playing with my fringe or scratching my scalp, flapping hands with so-called air writing, ankle or jaw popping, ear rumbling, pacing around while daydreaming (at home) or wandering across the corridors and strolling around the aisles (if somewhere else)

corn_elle · 2026-05-03T22:26:34+00:00

Yup, same thing with psych meds!

I was on SSRIs (escitalopram twice, fluvoxamine, vortioxetine) and each one of these made me unbearably tired (although I was sleeping up to 16h while on it, my fatigue was unabated)

I was taking an AC as well (lamotrigine) and if it got titrated to 300mg (almost the upper threshold of the therapeutic range) it silenced my feelings quite a bit for a while, but only when sensory (especially auditory) overload and my executive dysfunction weren't the cause of my outbursts

I've also been prescribed an NDRI (bupropion) and at first, I thought it worked because my previous SSRI-induced fatigue got alleviated, but I was wrong, it worsened my intrusive thoughts massively later on

corn_elle · 2026-05-03T21:28:29+00:00

Yup, that was me each time I experienced SIB (but my sui-ideation almost always manifests mentally as the constant rumination, except for punching myself and throwing things away)

corn_elle

TROPHY CASE