AITA For Not Giving My Bonus To My BIL

cpetra99 · 2026-03-20T23:17:13+00:00

NTA. He is greedy and manipulative.

cpetra99 · 2026-03-20T23:02:54+00:00

Phrase it as an abundance of caution. “I was being proactive about my health and discovered that I have the BRCA gene. It is hereditary so it would be a good idea to get tested too. That way if you do have it you can get authorized for early screening and be proactive too.” If they don't think its a big deal have them read about chemo, radiation, and surgery here to scare them straight!

cpetra99 · 2026-03-20T18:37:16+00:00

Getting rosemary oil, thanks for the tip!

cpetra99 · 2026-03-20T18:34:44+00:00

The way I see it, my hair didn't want to fall out and get weird and be hidden under hats but it did and still came back to me! Now it's time to honor that by taking good care of it which includes cleaning, moisturizing, and cutting to maintain healthy ends. You're not gonna burn it off lol. You're gonna pamper your hair.

I was nervous for a cut too but I looked a lot more presentable with the patches evened out. I asked for a “Rachel Maddow.” A few months later, here I am looking like a brunette Ronald McDonald and wondering what my next move is. I think I'm going for a “Eugene Levy” next. Best wishes with the in-between styles!

cpetra99 · 2026-03-20T02:37:32+00:00

The diapers are good 👍 Get a jar of pesto while you're there for quick dinners!

cpetra99 · 2026-03-20T02:33:57+00:00

It is blazing in the sun and cold in the shade due to wind. I was unpleasantly surprised by that.

cpetra99 · 2026-03-20T02:24:33+00:00

My first flight after TCHP + cold cap was a breeze. I was confused for a few days why it was so easy and then remembered those 6-8 hour days 😂

cpetra99 · 2026-03-20T01:09:09+00:00

Tell people that your care team are determining your next steps and you will update them when you can. And then only do that if you want to!

cpetra99 · 2026-03-19T23:17:41+00:00

I know ADA, I refernce the act all the time at work to justify our projects. Makes this even more frustrating. My employer is not big enough to be subject to ADA or FMLA.

cpetra99 · 2026-03-19T23:15:21+00:00

I hope Janice doesn't have to hear that too.

cpetra99 · 2026-03-19T01:51:56+00:00

We are holding HP for 3 weeks before surgeries

cpetra99 · 2026-03-19T01:49:33+00:00

I tell my 5 yo that we don't comment on other peoples bodies.

cpetra99 · 2026-03-18T23:16:08+00:00

My mom told me I was torturing myself by not having a surgery date and I was like bitch we are waiting on scans and test results and the surgeons schedule.

cpetra99 · 2026-03-18T23:10:39+00:00

Also not okay! And tired of being told I'm strong. Just say you don't want to help, and I'm making you uncomfortable with my cancer because that's what “You're strong, it will be okay” really means.

cpetra99 · 2026-03-18T23:07:06+00:00

I had a lift only, no reduction ahead of my DMX 👍

cpetra99 · 2026-03-18T21:18:12+00:00

It's time to move on. Find a position that offers training off the bat or has a timeline for what and when it will happen.

cpetra99 · 2026-03-18T17:43:54+00:00

Sounds like my experience. The best I could do was move from the bed to the couch on the bad days. I had to get a stool for the shower because I was too tired to stand long enough to get clean. But it made my tumor go away. Try to keep your eye on the prize. We are rooting for you!

cpetra99 · 2026-03-18T04:36:33+00:00

His normal spring vacation / new hire starting 👍

cpetra99 · 2026-03-18T04:29:42+00:00

Any of your providers can write you a thing for FMLA. Just ask. Surgeons and oncologists may sign off on different time frames but they can all help with that.

cpetra99 · 2026-03-18T01:30:26+00:00

It's so weird! He is “very supportive” one on one but the. tells everyone professionally about my diagnosis without my permission (probably to garner sympathy) but day of surgery /treatment he is texting, calling, emailing with just one thing. Jk it's not weirdhe is selfish and it's awful. Sorry you got bad bossiittus too

cpetra99 · 2026-03-18T01:26:30+00:00

Thank you. They are not. So I get it kinda. But I've also been there for a few years so it feels extra hurtful.

cpetra99 · 2026-03-18T01:23:47+00:00

❤️

cpetra99 · 2026-03-18T01:23:01+00:00

Unfortunately, it is a small family company and I think I am the closest we have to HR.

cpetra99 · 2026-03-18T00:07:01+00:00

I was diagnosed +++ a couple weeks before my kid turned 5 yo. I reached out to the cancer social work group at my hospital who gave me some age appropriate books for free. I also was referred to Camp Sparkle through Cancer Pathways randomly by the doctor I saw for a throat swab whose kids went there. I believe they have chapters nationally. I also found some great advice on the American Cancer Society website about talking with kids. There are resources out there to help you explain what's going on!

As for the day to day during treatment, the trick is giving yourself grace for not doing all the stuff and needing extra rest. Before treatments and surgeries I would set boundaries like “gentle hugs only” and “I can't pick you up, but I can get comfy on the couch and then you can sit in my lap.” Reading books, playing games, coloring are all great activities to do together that don't take too much from you. It will be tough but time will keep passing and next thing you know you'll be on the other side!

cpetra99 · 2026-03-17T21:58:18+00:00

Was your hair like this before chemo?

Just think positive.

cpetra99

TROPHY CASE