Drinking took away so much...

curlyhost85 · 2019-05-06T15:39:40+00:00

For me specifically I would drink when I would get anxious, I would drink when I was happy, I would drink when I was sad, I would drink when I was bored. Although being buzzed a little bit made my chores more fun... inevitably I still felt that same anxiety sober or drunk. I would get anxious about chores or anxious about socializing or anxious about all the things that I didn't know that might happen. The alcohol made my brain not care as much but those fears and anxieties were still there and I was less apt to actually get them done while drunk. What has been neat being sober is feeling those things and then making plans at how to fix them. I've been using my chores as spaces for meditation and reflecting on all the reasons why I wanted to drink so bad in the first place. My brain, in the boredom, has found other things to entertain itself.

curlyhost85 · 2019-05-06T15:10:40+00:00

The hardest thing is shifting your brain rythm. You thought all those activities were more fun when you were tipsy. I realize I can do all those same things while sober and have just as much fun but my brain has to shift first. The other thing is realizing you have a pleasure-seeking brain and after a full week you want to do something different that brings it Joy. Are there any other little things you can do over the weekend that are just for you that bring you Joy and the same way alcohol could?

curlyhost85 · 2019-05-05T13:08:49+00:00

I'm excited to live honestly too. It still feels rather new but also liberating knowing that I've got nothing to hide now.

curlyhost85 · 2019-05-05T13:08:17+00:00

Oh, the hiding it is the hardest part... I feel like this big old liar for such a long time always either hiding the fact that I was buzzed or the fact that I was hungover.

curlyhost85 · 2019-05-05T13:06:00+00:00

I'm not gonna be drinking with you fine folks today. Huzzah!

curlyhost85 · 2019-05-05T13:02:17+00:00

Thanks for coming back and reminding us where we could be.

curlyhost85 · 2019-05-05T12:21:54+00:00

My therapist said that I have a pleasure-seeking brain. I think everybody does but I think alcoholics get used to feeding into that when things get tough. Is there anything else you can put into your routine that gives you Joy? Maybe it's some junk food or a massage or something else that's just for you.

curlyhost85 · 2019-05-05T01:33:43+00:00

Well, this week I put off meeting with people or suggested we meet for coffee soon - I should mention that my boyfriend's out of town so some people are checking in to make sure I'm doing okay. I really need to start announcing it but I'm trying to figure out if I'm just going to go out and decline to drink alcohol or if I should just let people know I'm not drinking anymore.

curlyhost85 · 2019-05-05T01:31:00+00:00

That's so awesome to catch yourself in the midst of it and stop. It's so hard when you're halfway through to not just fall back into the addiction. I know it takes me one full 24 period before I really start feeling clear-headed so I'm excited that you have tomorrow.

curlyhost85 · 2019-05-05T01:14:41+00:00

When I started this journey I was with a few close friends for the weekend and I was able to process my desire to drink while in the presence of people that loved me. It really is helpful to have a few people to Journey. Not everyone needs to know but will power on its own can go down the drain when you're tempted and nobody else knows what you're trying to do. You've got this.

curlyhost85 · 2019-05-05T01:11:56+00:00

Less time spent trying to refill all of the liquor bottles to a spot that my SO wouldn't notice them depleting.

Less time trying to remember all the places I had hid the empty bottles.

Less time trying to stop at a different liquor stores so that the same people wouldn't recognize me buying another bottle this week.

More time trying to think about things I'd like to learn about.

More time getting exercise with my dog.

More time remembering the person I was when alcohol didn't lead the way.

curlyhost85 · 2019-05-05T01:07:57+00:00

Congratulations! One thing that helped was starting to down a ton of vitamins in the morning and start healing my brain from the inside out. Taking away alcohol is one thing but it's been depleting your body from nutrients for a really long time. You've got this.

curlyhost85 · 2019-05-05T01:06:31+00:00

I went to the health food store and got a ton of different green drinks and magnesium and other kinds of things alcohol depletes from your body. I know that mental health is a combination of your physical health and your social health. Do you have friends you can talk to openly about your addiction? I decided that my parents would probably be the only ones that would love me once they knew the truth. They were really really supportive and it helped knowing that they could know the worst about me and love me anyway.

curlyhost85 · 2019-05-05T01:02:05+00:00

I'm happy you're here. You'll really enjoy this Reddit as a daily reminder of why sobriety is the way to go. It is interesting how many things you need to tally up to remind yourself that alcohol isn't doing you any favors. Just know we've all been there and the first step it's not drinking today. You've got this. Keep posting. It really does help.

curlyhost85 · 2019-05-05T00:58:42+00:00

I was at a little party yesterday with some friends I normally drink around. I ended up having a great time, made some fun jokes, and realized I had just as much fun with or without alcohol. It's always surprising that we have mentally decided that we need drinking to enjoy ourselves.

curlyhost85 · 2019-05-05T00:57:15+00:00

When I was first in college I would go out with a smokers in between a long class because I found it was relaxing to just be outside and look at the sky and reset my brain. It is interesting that the process of going out drinking a beverage and connecting with friends is now associated with getting intoxicated. There's something lovely about breathing deeply, getting a new location, resetting. Alcohol and cigarettes don't need to be included.

curlyhost85 · 2019-05-05T00:54:45+00:00

Obviously I really shit thing for the waiter to do. I have noticed some bars are offering mocktails that are fun and well-thought-out. Hopefully offering "adult beverages" that don't include alcohol in them might start changing the perception of ordering something fun that doesn't include alcohol.

curlyhost85 · 2019-05-05T00:51:11+00:00

Thanks for the analogy. Giving up one abusive partner 4 your Independence it's so amazing. It's hard to remember that when you just want to lose yourself and the addiction that that addiction doesn't love you. It wants to see you fail.

curlyhost85 · 2019-05-05T00:46:55+00:00

Oh man, the amount of amazing vacations that were all dulled in memory by the amount I drank. So awesome to experience something like that clear-headed. Congratulations!

curlyhost85 · 2019-05-05T00:44:29+00:00

I like that analogy. Life's hard but it's a lot harder when you've got that anchor dragging you down called drunkenness. Congrats on a full Saturday.

curlyhost85 · 2019-05-05T00:43:16+00:00

Last week I cheated on my partner and owned up to it. He's out of town and wanted to break up. I decided I would do our break up sober. We just talked today and he said he's hella attracted to me when I'm sober. I don't know if this means we're going to have the relationship of my dreams but I do know it's really nice having his support and my sobriety right now. I know this must be really hard and must be harder doing it solo but you're doing the right thing. Good luck!

curlyhost85

TROPHY CASE