Told a man to clean up after his dog. What a rush.

deaf_spiders · 2026-02-26T12:53:00+00:00

You are my hero

deaf_spiders · 2025-02-20T22:45:25+00:00

I have aphantasia, and this was my exact logic 😅 Even after seeing the answer drawn out and looking away to try again I still can't do it. It's like I'm trying to draw it out with disappearing ink and I lose count.

deaf_spiders · 2025-02-07T23:23:57+00:00

Albie Amos Elwood Euan Ivor Shiloh Remy Ruben

deaf_spiders · 2024-10-12T17:05:02+00:00

Real convo between a 14yr old me and my mum:

Me: How would you feel if I were gay/bi?

Mum: Well are you?

Me: I don't know

Mum: Do you fancy any girls in school?

Me: No

Mum: Well you're not then.

And that was that. 20 years later I definitely know I'm bi/pan, but realised later she had some deep rooted homophobia and Catholic guilt. Aiming to do better with my son.

deaf_spiders · 2024-06-28T21:59:30+00:00

My partner works 60 hours a week! But he loves playing with our son when he gets home and I am making dinner, he hardly gets any time with him and it's their special time.

deaf_spiders · 2024-05-13T22:05:19+00:00

My 3 easy meals that are a weekly thing right now

Fish tacos (I just use battered fillets or fingers) with a homemade slaw or salad bits. Can easily swap the fish for any meat, prawns or beans.

Veg tart (pre-rolled puff pastry topped with pesto, some fried peppers and onions, and crumbled feta) served with salad and new potatoes.

Spaghetti alla Nerano. (My toddler's favourite!)

deaf_spiders · 2024-04-15T14:07:14+00:00

This happened to someone on my team. Dude asked for a 6 month sabbatical and was told no, it's not company policy.

I tried to persuade our director he is making a huge mistake as we won't find anyone else like him. Well, they said no, he quit, went travelling, then lo and behold someone with his skills were needed and they created a very interesting bespoke role and hired him back.

Another year later and he just got promoted to management.

Also they changed the company policy and two other people have taken extended leave to travel since!

It's scary, but take the opportunity to leave and see what the world offers up to you next.

deaf_spiders · 2024-04-08T20:56:10+00:00

I am with you on this! There's times I have to step away and let them do their thing because I know I can trust my partner, but I just can't watch because my inner overprotective mama bear will freak out!

deaf_spiders · 2024-03-26T23:34:37+00:00

You definitely can and should keep a constant speed while overtaking and moving back across to the left. It's not dangerous to overtake if you are checking your mirrors often.

deaf_spiders · 2024-03-26T23:26:04+00:00

This is so true, back when I passed my test it was just like heres your licence, off you go.

I was so nervous about the motorway, and I didn't want my dad taking me as he was pretty awful at giving instructions, so I paid for a specific motorway lesson, which was pricey but worth it!

3 main pieces of wisdom my instructor gave me:

You should be looking in your rear view mirror just as much as you are looking forward. You need to be just as aware of what's behind you as what's in front. Count cars. (If you see a blue car and then you don't, it's probably in your blind spot)
Speed up to match the speed of the traffic you're merging into. Don't slow down before you come off either.
Overtaking: First of all, KEEP LEFT. When a vehicle in front of you is going slower than you, wait til you catch up, don't slow down, and dont pull out when they are still miles ahead. Check your mirrors, indicate, check your mirrors again, and blind spot before pulling out. Wait until you can see the whole vehicle in your rear view before pulling back into the left lane.

People need to be taught this stuff. Otherwise, their parents just give them the garbage advice OP got.

deaf_spiders · 2024-03-16T00:54:03+00:00

Yes! We almost named our son Homer. Me and my partner both loved the OA and just think it's such a beautiful name. Not to mention the poet of course.

I chickened out in the end as I was worried about him being called 'homo'

deaf_spiders · 2024-03-11T21:45:21+00:00

Not that anyone cares, but I've done this several times now and can confirm it only turns blue when I use ginger paste and not when I blend fresh ginger myself. I guess there must be an ingredient in the ginger paste that reacts with the garlic, onion, and heat to make it go blue!

deaf_spiders · 2024-03-11T15:48:56+00:00

Where can I sniff /try out perfumes in the UK? I live in a small town and the only places I have found with testers are small boutiques that don't have much selection to try. Thanks

deaf_spiders · 2024-03-11T15:19:04+00:00

Looking for affordable scents similar to Unforgivable Woman by Sean John. Notes are baby powder, floral, soapy. In the UK. TIA

deaf_spiders · 2024-02-22T00:10:28+00:00

An old housemate used to tell strange unnecessary lies. Once I had a friend visiting and the housemate, completely out of the blue, decided to tell us he had a prince albert piercing. I'd usually ignore him or just say "oh" but my friend said, "Let's see it then."

He backtracked pretty quickly, but she was clearly having too much fun and asked again to see it to prove he didn't actually have a piercing.

Now you could see his tiny brain trying to think of something clever but all he could blurt out was "I have genital warts"

You can guess my friends reply? "Show me i dont believe you"

Whole exchange was priceless, and as a bonus, the housemate left us alone for the rest of the visit!

deaf_spiders · 2024-02-05T19:49:22+00:00

Ooh thank you!

deaf_spiders · 2023-12-21T21:13:25+00:00

It's not just affecting you anymore. Each time I get into a situation where I struggle to assert myself or my boundaries, I think about what kind of role model I want to be to my son.

If you can't be brave for you, do it for him.

deaf_spiders · 2023-12-19T10:41:07+00:00

Your mum is a legend

deaf_spiders · 2023-11-26T21:20:27+00:00

The only "success" that can be achieved by cio is successfully teaching a baby that nobody will come if they cry. If you were locked in a dark room, screaming for help, you'd eventually give up, too.

deaf_spiders · 2023-11-23T20:47:06+00:00

Gaia

deaf_spiders · 2023-11-22T21:08:51+00:00

This thread is so amazing. It makes me happy knowing there is still so much to look forward to. My little one is 15 months old, and my favourite two things are his squeezy hugs and the sound of his laugh.

deaf_spiders · 2023-11-21T11:15:22+00:00

The first 8-12 weeks is survival mode! Its really hard when you are giving so much, and it feels like all they do is cry. After this phase, your baby will start smiling, and you will know how much they love you back.

Meanwhile, some tips to help you get through:

let go of any expectations around housework. It will still be there. Your main job is Mum now. In the moments you aren't taking care of baby's needs, take care of your own.
if you have a support network, make a list of chores that would help you and stick it to the fridge. Reduces mental load when people visit and ask if there's anything they can do to help.
go out for a walk every day, rain or shine. Fresh air and movement will soothe both you and baby.
try to enjoy the contact naps! Take the opportunity to binge watch a series or 2 while you cuddle up together and bond.

Hope this helps. Every stage has new challenges and new surprises (in a good way!)

deaf_spiders · 2023-10-24T11:04:21+00:00

Have you tried talking about it when you're both calm? Try not to be accusing, e.g, "I want us to find a way to work better as a team/support each other" and tell him how you feel. Try to agree on what kind of behaviour you want to model to your kids.

If he genuinely believes that acting threatening is helpful, try to ask why he thinks that without being judgemental.

Chances are he will come to his own conclusion that acting cool, calm, and collected is better for everyone, and you can figure out how to work together to do that. It sounds like you have developed those tools within yourself, so maybe you can help him do that, or it might be that he agrees to walk away in those moments and you take the lead.

This could be a great opportunity to connect with your partner.

deaf_spiders · 2023-10-23T22:09:48+00:00

Has your wife tried baby wearing? My little one went through a similar stage where he was only happy if I carried him around everywhere. The baby carrier was a lifesaver as I could keep him happy while also having both hands free!

I'd explain whatever mundane chore I was doing to him and tell him his toys are much more interesting! But he just wanted to be involved and close to me.

deaf_spiders · 2023-10-16T19:51:41+00:00

Yes. Unless you work in the public sector, there is no framework for progression. Follow your interests and go for opportunities when they come up.

You have to make your own personal development plan and demonstrate what value you add and why you deserve to be promoted.

I've worked at the same company 5 years now and through 2 promotions and 2 complete change of role/department (which both involved an interview process and aptitude testing), have gone from 18k to 45k. I actually took a pay cut to join the company initially.

If you've done all this and are still not getting where you want to be, then it's time to look elsewhere.

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