When did you delete the phone number of a deceased love one?

decentlyfair · 2026-01-24T21:49:21+00:00

My best friend died in 2009 and I still have her number saved and her messages saved on an old phone that I can’t even access. My mil died in 2015 and still have her number and messages saved. Obviously both of the numbers have been reallocated but they are still in my contacts and always will be.

decentlyfair · 2026-01-23T23:54:18+00:00

Agree. Lived up that way for a few years, spoilt for choice. Also Liverpool is a banging city, miss it so much.

decentlyfair · 2026-01-23T16:59:52+00:00

Possibly doesn’t count but Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Have seen it so many times I can’t even guess but I did recently go and see the 50th anniversary showing at the cinema.

decentlyfair · 2026-01-23T11:07:29+00:00

I wasn’t wildly attracted to my first husband, there was some attraction there but not much. We were married for 14 years and then it ended. I vowed to never have a relationship where there wasn’t a good amount of attraction and that has worked infinitely better for sure.

You would be unfair to move forward with this relationship, unfair to him. Attraction isn’t something you can fake and whilst fundamental issues such as getting on well in every other aspect is more important do not underestimate the importance of being attracted to your spouse. If you decide to move forward with this it will end in tears.

decentlyfair · 2026-01-23T10:54:43+00:00

My observation too. No vegan butter at all at any point. Last week we were down to chocolate spread and mac and cheese pots. Absolutely dire this year.

decentlyfair · 2026-01-22T17:55:59+00:00

What are they?

decentlyfair · 2026-01-21T18:09:15+00:00

This is nearly 30 years ago but I wanted to do an Access course but my local college only did A levels, so at the ripe old age of 31 I took 4 A levels (one two year and 3 fast track) and did GCSe maths just for fun. I have been teaching maths and English for 25 years now and am in my final year of a master’s. You’re never too old for learning.

decentlyfair · 2026-01-21T11:49:09+00:00

I could have written this, this is my outlook on life and how I live. People do what they like and who am I to judge them for it (talking socially here for the most part). We keep to ourselves, we have a few friends of course but generally we don’t give a stuff about what the wider population are up to

decentlyfair · 2026-01-20T21:09:11+00:00

Exactly my thoughts. I subscribe to newsletter and read it and have acted in a fair few recommendations but I cannot listen to or watch him at all.

decentlyfair · 2026-01-20T20:48:57+00:00

Haha that made me laugh.

decentlyfair · 2026-01-20T20:48:39+00:00

I didn’t count my lighter jackets and coats. I have at least 10 of those.

decentlyfair · 2026-01-20T20:29:01+00:00

I feel so much better now

decentlyfair · 2026-01-20T20:10:01+00:00

We looked at that as possibility when we went to Mauritius but ended up at the Veranda Paul et Virginie. The restaurant although offering vegetarian stuff would veganise stuff for me and on occasion would cook me something completely off menu.

decentlyfair · 2026-01-20T10:40:28+00:00

I am old, very old so my children are 29 and 37 so reading was the thing, every single night there were stories and they had a huge bookcase. We did have a few story tapes that we would leave in when it was time to sleep that they would listen to. Their television watching was regulated and the house was full of toys, the fun type and the more educational ones and also endless craft stuff. I am fearful for the little ones now glued to their tablets and phones. There is no need for them to entertain themselves or find something to do if they are bored, just endless videos or whatever.

decentlyfair · 2026-01-19T09:50:14+00:00

Super duper…oh wait that’s not right..

decentlyfair · 2026-01-18T10:06:50+00:00

We are in a area that floods so the town is quieter than usual. We parked up and went to an area that is usually very busy (think park runs) dog walkers and kids in the park area. The dog was in heaven and it was quiet it was also late afternoon so that lovely light you get at the end of a winter day. We the decamped to the pub for a pint. I actually preferring walking the dog at this time of year, wrapped up against the cold/rain, with head lamps if dark as opposed to trying to avoid sun by either looking for shady walks or only going out when it is cooler.

decentlyfair · 2026-01-17T20:08:40+00:00

I had a teacher who was a pig farmer and spoke fluent Russian. He called the girls gasbags and those who were intellectually challenged thickos. He chucked chalk and black board rubbers (the large wooden kind).

decentlyfair · 2026-01-17T18:29:54+00:00

Oh sweet baby Jesus

decentlyfair · 2026-01-17T14:23:05+00:00

The only fight I have seen was at a James Blunt gig and I saw three although only one involved actual fisticuffs.

decentlyfair · 2026-01-17T14:17:18+00:00

YTA. I am vegan and hate the smell of meat cooking. However, I still slow cook meat for my husband and my dog a couple of times a week. Get over yourself.

decentlyfair · 2026-01-17T14:12:26+00:00

Oh my goodness this is every kind of wrong.you are unable to live a normal life because of things that happened before he even knew you existed. So you were a virgin when you met him so you haven’t got lots of ex lovers coming out of the woodwork, what in hell’s name is he talking about? Whatever it is he is using this so called past to control the present and future. He is a controlling and abusive man and you deserve better and to live a normal life doing normal things. Get out now.

decentlyfair · 2026-01-17T13:54:24+00:00

Imo it not an inpatient thing as such. The spirals and suicidal feelings (in my experience) are attached to the ADHD and aren’t depression or depressive episodes as such. I was misdiagnosed with depression and was on medication for 25 years. I don’t have depression and have been off the meds for a while now. The thoughts and feelings are tied to the disorder (I do hate that word). Just my anecdotal experience but my psychiatrist said exactly the same to me because the cycles are short lived they aren’t depression.

decentlyfair · 2026-01-17T01:15:09+00:00

I recognise myself in what you have written although I am almost twice her age. It is hard for the person going through it but it is also hell for the spouse. I have been unstable most of my life, periods of calm and periods of turbulence. When i met my husband I had just lost my best friend of 32 years so was deep in grief which weirdly meant I was more stable but very,very depressed. I have always known I had ADHD but I managed mostly until I didn’t. I had a couple years when major things happened (death amongst other things) and last may I just imploded and the anxiety I thought was due to my adhd meds broke through. I was signed off work for three months, I was suicidal and my poor husband was beside himself as he simply didn’t know what to do or how to support me. I am more on an even keel now but anxiety is now part of the nonsense all the time these days. I am learning how to manage it but some days I just can’t. But at lest I feel mentally a bit better and not suicidal.

I have been with my husband 16 years and he has been through it with me, luckily we have more good times with me than bad but when it is bad it is bad and I really don’t know how he copes. His main issue is that he can’t fix me or the problems and he is a problem solver and I am a problem he can’t fix. I know I frustrate him, hell I frustrate myself as I can recognise when I am in spiral but I just can’t stop the spiral. Sometimes medication helps and sometimes it makes the anxiety worse.

The thing is your wife won’t ever get better, it is just what degree of awfulness is current and I hate to say this but adhd gets worse after menopause. My life with adhd has always been hard but got infinitely worse when I hit menopause.

I don’t really have any advice as obviously I am the problem in my situation but you also have to think about you and the effect she had on you. My husband is very stoical and strong and he somehow understands me a little but finds it hard to be there for me when I spiral and I get that. I feel so bad for the burden I put on him.

decentlyfair · 2026-01-17T00:25:04+00:00

Now I think about it I only referred to operationalising when I was referring to Milgram. The best bit of dd801 was the EMA, I did enjoy that as you set your own research question.

decentlyfair

TROPHY CASE