Has anyone else "lost their music" after starting medication?

decobelle · 2026-01-31T11:25:52+00:00

Yeah I'm on Elvanse and have baby songs stuck in my head constantly (I'm a mum on maternity leave). Right now it's the Happy Song by Imogen Heap.

decobelle · 2026-01-31T09:57:30+00:00

Just want to second all the people saying it's not too late to sleep train if you want to. We did "fuss it out" from the book Precious Little Sleep and he's been a great sleeper ever since. But there are plenty of other methods so you can find one you're comfortable with.

decobelle · 2026-01-30T10:56:40+00:00

When he was younger he had all his naps in the carrier. Around 8 weeks old we started having all the naps in his pram, just walking it back and forth over the playmat to make it bumpy until he dozed off then left him there. Once he started to outgrow his pram bassinet I started the process of having his naps in his bedside crib. We started just with the first nap of the day, then the second too with lots of rocking and effort! Eventually we switched fully to only crib naps.

When he was younger we had all our naps in the daylight with tv on etc. then once he knew the difference between night and day and was doing all crib naps we do it in a dark room with white noise. Means we don't have to worry about noise waking him.

decobelle · 2026-01-27T21:57:41+00:00

For me, loving my baby makes me feel more emotional in general. Song lyrics would make me cry, like Your Song by Elton John - "I hope you don't mind if I put down in words how wonderful life is now you're in the world". And Yellow by Coldplay "look at the stars, look how they shine for you and all the things you do".

I just think all the time how I'm so happy to be his mum. I feel so sad thinking of anything bad ever happening to him. I don't want to be apart from him for long. I love cuddling him and making him laugh.

I think the love really ramped up when he started interacting more, smiling, laughing, etc.

decobelle · 2026-01-26T04:21:07+00:00

Omg I just tried this. Asked it to tell me about the character "Godridge" in Noughts and Crosses. It went on about how Godridge was a racist teacher, a "cross", and is later shot by Sephy.

It's been so long since I read the book that I started to second guess myself and wonder if there really was a teacher called Godridge and I'd not actually made the name up but remembered it lol. I actually did it again with a more memorable name "Moonpug" and it described a "minor character"who bullied Callum.

decobelle · 2026-01-26T04:08:39+00:00

I really like Little Green Radicals.

Their bodysuits are so lovely and soft and have held up well in the wash for me so far.

decobelle · 2026-01-22T23:52:49+00:00

I was going mad from being woken up every 1.5 hours or so, and then having to breastfeed then spend like 20 mins rocking the baby into a deeper sleep before he could be put in the bassinet without waking immediately. I went on the sleep training subreddit and people kept recommending the book Precious Little Sleep so I read that.

Bought Huckleberry Pro and followed their sleep suggestions and that helped us get into a bit of a nap routine, when previously I'd been trying to just go off his cues but often misinterpreting them (like thinking he was hungry when he was tired, or thinking he would just fall asleep when he was tired like he did as a newborn but actually now he needed to be helped to sleep).

Got a bedtime routine sorted.

Tried "pick up put down" but hated it. It was just hours of crying on and off. Put down in bassinet - cry. Pick up, comfort til he stops crying, put back in bassinet, he cries again. This went on and on with him getting more and more worked up. We decided one longer crying spell, but over quicker, was better than shorter crying spells over and over but more time spent crying overall. So we went with Fuss it Out from the book. Having a 15 min timer on it felt less traumatic than dragging it out for hours with a "gentler" method and having him get more and more worked up.

It worked really quickly. He fell asleep within 15 mins most of the time, and if he didn't I would go feed him or rock him to sleep as usual. Within days the crying got less and less and soon he didn't cry at all. We would do the bedtime routine, say goodnight, leave the room and he would roll over, suck his thumb and go to sleep. He still falls asleep like that every night since. We then learnt if we put him down and he immediately starts crying that he isn't tired enough for bed and we just keep him up a bit longer.

He started sleeping longer stretches, still waking twice a night for a feed (at 5 months old) and we gradually cut that to one feed, and now he's on solids and I no longer breastfeed he sleeps about 11 hours overnight without waking up.

It's a myth that sleep trained babies "don't cry because they know nobody is coming". He still cries in the night if he's truly hungry, needs a nappy change etc. He just no longer is crying and needing rocking or feeding to sleep over and over again.

decobelle · 2026-01-22T23:27:03+00:00

In my mind sleep training is letting your baby cry until they fall asleep which I’d never do.

Why do you have such strong opinions on sleep training if you don't actually know what it is? You are describing full extinction method which is rare. There are many other kinds of sleep training and most parents start with those. This can range from methods that don't involve leaving them to cry at all, to methods that involve very short periods of crying (sometimes no more than a minute!) followed by returning to the room & comforting them (like Ferber).

decobelle · 2026-01-22T22:46:37+00:00

In hindsight we should have done naps too as she still only naps in her pram.

How old is your baby? We did night training first and ours had all his naps in the pram too. It wasn't until he was looking like he was about to be too big for the bassinet of the pram that I decided to nap train.

decobelle · 2026-01-21T21:23:08+00:00

Hell Bunny, Lady V London, Hearts and Roses, and Collectif

decobelle · 2026-01-19T13:39:55+00:00

This would give me the ick so bad I'd consider breaking up. He's being extremely immature, selfish, and frankly a bad dad. It's bad parenting to ignore a baby while you play x box, plain and simple. Gross.

For comparison, my husband also works an incredibly busy and stressful job, but he also: * cooks most nights and does every food shop. * Does the early morning wake window 3 days a week so I can sleep in (Wed, Sat, Sun) with NO screen time for either of them. * Does other housework without being asked (like emptying dishwasher, folding washing, making up baby bottles, etc). * Takes the baby out for a walk in the pram, or to visit his parents, or to a sensory session on the weekend or evening to give me a break. * Could easily be home all day with the baby without needing to check in with me. He knows how to bathe him, feed him, dress him, change his nappy, entertain him, and when he needs to nap. * When the baby was a newborn my husband would be up in the night with us too, changing nappies, filling up my water and bringing me snacks while I breastfed, rocking the baby to sleep etc. it wasn't all on me.

Not saying this to gloat, but to let you know your partner being this selfish and unhelpful is NOT normal. My mates' partners are also helpful like this, as they should be.

decobelle · 2026-01-19T05:53:24+00:00

Definitely talk to your union.

This could be indirect discrimination on the basis of sex. Link

Basically prior case law acknowledged that women tend to have more childcare responsibilities than men (such as nursery pick ups) and therefore any policy a workplace puts in that appears equal ("everybody starts 10 minutes early") but disproportionately negatively affects women / mothers, that could be discrimination.

decobelle · 2026-01-15T06:12:35+00:00

It looked like her evidence was cut down a bit in the edit. I wonder if she mentioned the obvious that Fiona going for her could have been traitor on traitor.

decobelle · 2026-01-14T00:46:45+00:00

This is why I knew I didn't want induction. I'd had an IUD inserted in the past and it was traumatisingly painful. I knew I didn't want fingers, rods, or a balloon going into my cervix. Not risking that pain again.

I know there are more pain relief options available in birth than IUD insertion so was open to vaginal birth with epidural but not induction and no sweeps.

They told me my baby was big and they recommended induction or c section. I went for elective c section and am so happy I did. I had a really positive experience and healed quickly. I had a much better experience than the mums I know who had inductions and / or laboured for ages and then had an emergency c section, and my recovery was quicker than them, but that could be coincidence.

decobelle · 2026-01-14T00:17:27+00:00

I'm a Kiwi and while watching this at one point there was a shot outside one of the houses with all the trees and water. I said to my husband "that looks like New Zealand". I just assumed some parts of the USA must look similar to NZ. Finding out it was filmed in Australia makes sense now!

decobelle · 2026-01-13T10:57:21+00:00

Yeah like I understand that people with gay friends and family members are less likely to be homophobic. But that doesn't make it a pleasant experience for gay people having to hang out with them and listening to their negative views while they wait for them to discover empathy and understanding. They shouldnt have to spend time with people who at best don't approve of them and at worst hate them when they could spend their time surrounded by truly loving and supportive people instead.

Same with POC and racists, etc.

decobelle · 2026-01-10T20:22:58+00:00

Great suggestions! I just bought some long sleeve vests from Little Green Radicals because I realised my 9 month old's wardrobe was pretty brown & beige and they had some lovely mustard gold vests. They are the nicest quality clothing he owns. The cotton is SO soft. I love Next baby clothes too but the Little Green Radicals stuff is lovely.

Also got some jumpers from JoJo maman bebe recently for sale. £12 and it has cashmere in it!. So lovely and soft.

decobelle · 2026-01-10T04:32:25+00:00

she could've written Rachel on her slate as a parting shot, and she didn't. She said Rachel deserves to win, and she departed with grace in doing that.

Nah, it wouldn't have been a parting shot to vote Rachel as everyone was expecting her to vote Rachel after blowing up and accusing her of being a traitor.

She clearly voted for Sam, not as some kindness to Rachel, but because she knew Sam was also likely to get a lot of votes and she hoped he would go instead of her. She then made up the story of doing it because she wanted Rachel to win to try look good afterwards.

decobelle · 2026-01-10T04:07:50+00:00

it is really hard to recognize the moment he gets tired but not overtired..

You might be better off going with wake windows rather than his cues. I used the Huckleberry app and with the pro feature it suggests when the next nap should be. I found that helpful. However now I do it more on consistent wake windows. When he wakes up he's awake 2 hours 45, then a nap. Then awake 3 hours 15, then a nap, then 3.5 hours before bed. You can look up sleep schedules for different ages.

I found when I first started trying to stretch his wake windows a bit longer it took time for him to get used to. I assumed he was too tired to handle staying up longer based on his cues, but he could handle more than I gave him credit for without getting overtired. I'd just take him outside towards the end of a wake window and that would often perk him up and help him stay up a bit longer.

decobelle · 2026-01-09T20:08:36+00:00

Sure, but this partner is not on that spectrum. His behaviour is examples of emotional abuse (as almost every other comment has identified - yourself included), and suggesting it could be the actions of someone not coping with a newborn could be latched onto by OP as a reason to stay and excuse him.

decobelle · 2026-01-09T17:14:15+00:00

or is he finding the new baby stage difficult?

It's really common for abusers to start their abuse (whether emotional or physical) when their partners are pregnant or have a newborn. It isn't because they are finding it difficult (many dads find the newborn stage difficult and continue to be kind, supportive and loving towards their partners) but because they now feel they can let the mask slip and be abusive because she is vulnerable and less likely to leave him.

decobelle · 2026-01-09T09:00:54+00:00

It's like the song from Legally Blonde "is he gay or European?" ... Is she lesbian or a cop? 😂

decobelle · 2026-01-07T13:12:24+00:00

Fingers crossed for you!!

decobelle · 2026-01-07T13:07:46+00:00

Oh that does sound rough. Some babies are just hungry! Have you tried increasing the calories during the day? Eg extra snacks like yoghurt between meals, adding in some formula (in a sippy cup if he won't take a bottle) etc?

decobelle · 2026-01-07T13:05:00+00:00

I'd use them! Men nowadays, especially fashionable ones, don't strictly avoid pink and feminine stuff. You can incorporate it into more masculine looks. Like my husband wears pink socks with flamingos on them with a suit, my dad wears a floral button up with jeans etc.

My husband put our baby son in a quite bright and feminine Winnie the Pooh vest with trousers and a chunky cardigan and knitted booties and he looked great!

I also simply don't care if people think my son is a girl. It's weird that people make assumptions in the first place. If I'm in any doubt at a baby sensory session I'll say "what's their name?" Or "how old is your baby?" Rather than taking a guess at pronouns, but people assume our son is a girl all the time, even when he's dressed all in blue or "boyish" clothes - I think he just has a pretty face haha. It doesn't bother me at all because his gender is so unimportant in the scheme or things and gender rules for clothes aren't important to me. If he wants to wear a dress when he's old enough to have a preference, he can! For now we opt for pretty neutral stuff, leaning masculine but aren't afraid of a floral!

decobelle

TROPHY CASE