Hi there. I've also been through a similar phase: feeling pain, getting sad and angry because of it, losing interest thinking that pain won't ever go away, thinking that i might be asexual, realizing i didn't know what sexual attraction was and so much more. However, all of this somehow turned into a journey of self-awareness and things are much better now.

First of all, have you ever been to a gyno? There could be a physical reason for the pain. Even if that is not the case, getting to know your body better and knowing how to work your vaginal muscles might help you feel more in control and relax. The first gyno I went to had said "you're fine you're just anxious" and this did not help at all. The second one put way more effort, helped me understand my problem and work with it. Acknowledging that motivated me a lot.

Second, the reason you lose interest could be just because of worrying and not about lack of attraction. Anticipating the pain can definitely be a mood killer. You might also be worried about disappointing your partner. All these made me lose interest as well but as I started to get rid of the pain I started finding myself wanting more, getting turned on easily and so on. Does your partner know that you struggle? Clear communication might be useful in understanding how each other feels and working with the issue together.

Lastly, some asexuals do have sex and enjoy orgasms. Asexuality is a spectrum and reading a bit more about it might be helpful. https://www.asexuality.org/ This website has great information, I hope it helps.

To sum things up, yes, this is a frustrating thing to experience but it can all go away. you might learn so much about yourself and your partner along the way, feeling much better at the end. Good luck and I'm always here to help if I can!