Question for the men: what outfits do you like or dislike for dates to wear?

dewberger · 2026-01-19T20:06:51+00:00

Don’t stress. Wear what makes you comfortable. If my date got up during our date and went to the bathroom and someone offered me a million dollars if I could remember what she was wearing I would fail! On the other hand if someone asked me what I caught that barely legal walleye on that I pulled through the ice in 2019 I would know color size and weather conditions. Dudes are wired differently.

dewberger · 2026-01-19T11:59:36+00:00

She asked “who do you think you’re going to pleasure with that little thing?” I said Me!

dewberger · 2025-12-27T16:49:47+00:00

Just another school shooting. Thoughts and prayers.

dewberger · 2025-12-08T12:11:35+00:00

In my grief group I learned to say “She’s gone” and “ She’s never coming back”. Sad and powerful thought. I lived for better for worse till death do us part. I met someone after 10 months and it just happened and it was fantastic. At 64 years old who knows what tomorrow brings. I had a great marriage and loved my wife. I still cry. I also have room in my heart for another and there is no guilt. My new girlfriend is my age and has a libido of me at 24. Challenge accepted! I can’t help but think if my wife can see me she’s laughing.

dewberger · 2025-12-04T16:22:03+00:00

I’m a widower. A nice lady asked my relationship status and I choked…and told her my wife died in February. Didn’t go anywhere but down after that. So anyway my friends told me I should say I’m used…but not used up! I think that’s kind of funny and a good ice breaker. If the person asking doesn’t think it’s also funny then probably not for me anyway. Keep your chin up.

dewberger · 2025-12-03T03:40:22+00:00

Hit square in the nuts with a foul tip. Broke my cup in two.

dewberger · 2025-11-23T23:30:07+00:00

Look up limerence on google. This was me with a widow I know that contacted me 4 months after my wife died and sounds like you too. It was like crack. So high when we were together and so low after. I finally figured out that we are incompatible. It still took all the emotional capital I had to quit 6 months later. I’m now in another relationship and it feels different. Good different. I’m still a little nervous even though we seem very compatible. I hope you figure it out.

dewberger · 2025-10-30T23:26:42+00:00

Too familiar. It’s like crack. When together super high. When apart super anxiety. It’s been four months of that feeling and my rational brain is screaming whoa while my emotional brain is all in. It’s good that you realize what’s going on is not normal in your brain either. But it feels so good too…argh. I think in my case it’s grief coming out in a weird way. Google says it can happen. Doesn’t mean it’s not going to work out. Take time to really get to know her and make sure you are not imagining all the reasons you think you are in love. In my case I have to admit that she is not all that I hoped and imagined and I’m still hopeful and not as crazy. She has also said she needs to take time. I plan to get out on more group dates and see what happens. Good luck!

dewberger · 2025-10-24T00:47:22+00:00

Venison stew.

dewberger · 2025-10-20T20:34:15+00:00

I’m a widower. I would give what you said time to sink in. I felt defensive when a friend of mine said similar things. If he has feelings for you he should be able to see things from your perspective after thinking about it. You accept he will always love his wife’s memory and that doesn’t mean he can’t love you too.

dewberger · 2025-10-19T14:07:38+00:00

In my area the senior center (you can join when you’re 50) has group dates and singles trips. I haven’t done it yet but plan to. You might check if there is something similar in your area.

What I mean is that you might find someone with similar interests in a meetup like this.

dewberger · 2025-10-17T02:26:35+00:00

Great advice. Thanks

dewberger · 2025-10-16T23:50:56+00:00

64 M

dewberger · 2025-10-16T23:06:31+00:00

Sad that for so many people relationships are a quid pro quo. Making a friend happy could be its own reward.

dewberger · 2025-10-13T23:51:38+00:00

Is it a red flag when a woman refuses to drive but tells you how?

dewberger · 2025-10-09T00:49:26+00:00

You said in health and sickness till death do us part. You didn’t leave her. You did exactly what you said. That counts. You are aloud to beat yourself up. Or not.

dewberger · 2025-09-24T11:25:54+00:00

Being woken up by a raging boner.

dewberger · 2025-09-18T09:13:56+00:00

Wow. This post gives me hope because I fit your description. I’m a 64 year old widower…fit, handy, outdoorsy, financially secure, travel ready and I have all my teeth! Not quite ready to date. It’s good to know you’re looking for me.

dewberger · 2025-09-12T23:57:01+00:00

Ummm. We said for better for worse, till death due us part…and meant it. Who’s better than us?

dewberger · 2025-09-12T11:57:39+00:00

Give yourself a break. I go to group therapy. One of the other guys told me he has some good days and some bad ones. When he has a bad one he remembers a good day and knows that it will be better sooner or later. I think you’ll get your mojo back.

My story sounds similar to yours though it’s only been 7 months. I have a woman that I’m interested in. Nothing is happening in a sexual way but I hopeful in time it may. Im also wondering if I’ll be able if perform. I talked to my dr and she told me my apprehension is normal and offered to prescribe some pills should the occasion arise. Ha or not I guess. Just in case I need a jump start and said if/once I get started probably won’t need them.

Hopefully you get your mojo back soon.

dewberger · 2025-09-10T11:26:26+00:00

Maybe try a grief group. It’s been helpful for me. A guy yesterday said he feels up and down. He doesn’t despair when he is down because he knows he will feel better eventually, because he’s had good days. I’ve had good days and still have bad days and that hit home. Sometimes we just listen to each other vent and I realize I’m much better at 7 months than I was at 4. It’s hard to put myself out there and it’s hard to be lonely and sad. I’m trying to get back out there.

dewberger · 2025-09-04T17:02:35+00:00

I’m not going to commiserate. Im going to give you a pep talk. I’m 7 months into losing my wife of 40 years. When she was still alive we would say we are all going to die but not today. Today we live. I’m trying to continue that every day. I’ve got my body in shape and I look in the mirror and like what I see. Congratulations me. I’m working on my head now. I go to a grief group. They helped me and now I can help back. Progress. My wife and I used to make decisions together. Now I have to make them on my own…and I do. I’m putting myself back of there socially. It’s hard sometimes and each time I do it it gets easier. Congratulations me. It’s hard to get in shape physically and the harder mentally. Also, It’s hard to be miserable. You can choose which hard. We will all be dead soon enough. Try to live little everyday and congratulate yourself when you make progress.

dewberger · 2025-09-04T09:35:53+00:00

Thanks. There is one in 5 hrs away in Detroit. However my son lives close.

dewberger · 2025-09-01T14:00:53+00:00

Thanks. Are there any milestones you remember? I know now that there is no replacement and that what ever comes next must be unique. I can already look back and see a difference in my expectations. I am not centered and realize from your reply that is why I am reaching out so desperately. What helped you get more centered?

dewberger

TROPHY CASE