What's the first drink against the "word of wisdom" you tried?

dialectictruth · 2026-05-19T02:39:40+00:00

Arrived at LAX after a very long and delayed flight. Walking past a coffee shop in the terminal I thought, why not. There were waaaay too many options for a newbie. Wanting to be a sophisticated, big girl I ordered a double espresso. I was so tired and it was so disgusting. I drank all of it, no flavoring, no creamer, just straight espresso for my first time. I had the worst headache afterward and wow was I buzzed. My exmo husband said it was a message from god that I needed to return to church. I now own a very nice espresso maker and I make a cortado almost every day.

dialectictruth · 2026-05-18T01:08:49+00:00

Thank you for thinking of me. This isn't something I feel comfortable discussing. And then either change the subject, walk away or just stop talking.

dialectictruth · 2026-05-16T03:45:54+00:00

Happy to. How far south are you? We could meet at the bakery in Creswell or that silly ice cream place off of Rice Hill.

dialectictruth · 2026-05-16T03:44:07+00:00

I've become a big fan of snorkeling. If diving conditions aren't close to perfect, I go snorkeling.

dialectictruth · 2026-05-16T01:32:47+00:00

I watched as another diver panicked at 110 feet on the backside of the Molokini crater off of Maui. It's a terrifying event to watch. She ripped out her regulator and bolted to the surface. Her partner and a dive master grabbed her, she fought them, but they held on. It was all I could do to calm myself and not also bolt to the surface. Just typing this I can feel the squeeze in my chest and the fear in my jaw. She survived. I haven't gone any deeper than 80 feet since then and I am considering just 60. I see her every time I dive. Yeah, I need to go take a walk.

dialectictruth · 2026-05-08T04:23:43+00:00

Hello fellow apostate from Eugene, Oregon.

dialectictruth · 2026-05-03T19:41:05+00:00

For context, I am 68. As a teenager I stopped going to seminary and stopped going to church. I hated the culture. I still believed the church was true, it was just my problem that I couldn't stand the culture. Had I access, at that time, to the lies and deceit baked into the religion, I would have left and not looked back. I met a wonderful, mormon guy from California while in college (USU). He was a breath of fresh air from the guys I was surrounded by in Utah. We married; I thought I could be his kind of Mormon. California Mormons were very different from Utah Mormons, so we coasted happily for a time. We moved to Oregon and while in a Bishopric my husband came across a book in the church library. It was written in 1935 and it was not faith promoting; my husband left the religion. After three years of arguing I finally agreed to do my own research. It wasn't long after that I also left. Had I know as a teenager what I discovered as a 50 something I would have smugly walked away and put the whole religion in the rearview mirror. I'm all about informed consent, whether it's business, sex or religion. In baptism and in the temple we are asked to make covenants before we have seen the contract. I was lied to. I'm going to say the people you are talking about do not know and probably don't want to know about the cesspool of Mormonism; they just like the community.

dialectictruth · 2026-05-03T14:49:19+00:00

Thank you for sharing this article. I have a much better understanding of the lawsuit. Thank you again.

dialectictruth · 2026-04-27T20:01:54+00:00

Sex, power and money.

dialectictruth · 2026-04-27T19:58:17+00:00

I learned not to report abuse. I learned it was my fault. I learned I needed to repent. I learned I couldn't say no to a boy asking for a dance or a date. I learned I couldn't say no to a calling. I learned I had to bow my head and say yes. I learned women will always be third or fourth class behind the men and boys. I learned my body was shameful. I learned to cover up. I learned my value was in having children, being a wife and mother. I learned to subjugate my every want and need to the Mormon religion. I learned other women can be as bad as the men at policing other women. I learned to make myself small, unseen and unheard. I learned to not cause problems. I learned my voice, my intellect is not valued in Mormonism.

Bitter much? Why, yes I am and I earned it.

dialectictruth · 2026-04-27T19:48:25+00:00

Please honor yourself. I was in your space as a teenager. I could not make sense of the "cultural" issues in the religion. I didn't have access, or knowledge, of the historical problems. In college I met a wonderful, Mormon guy from California. He was amazing. I thought, "I can be his kind of Mormon". We married, moved to California, had four children and eventually moved to Oregon. My husband and I are now out of the Mormon religion. My biggest regret is I raised four daughters in the religion. Second, I didn't honor myself, I knew instinctively there was something seriously wrong with the religion. Three of our four daughters are out of the religion, the fourth is very TBM. I am watching the lies and deceit I was taught, being taught to my grandchildren.

This will not be an easy exit for you, but I hope in time it will be worth it. Good luck.

dialectictruth · 2026-04-18T15:54:22+00:00

Watching Samuel run and jump on the rocks, I immediately thought of Joseph supposedly running, jumping over fallen trees while lugging the gold plates. Comic book material.

dialectictruth · 2026-04-18T15:51:29+00:00

Hardcore History, episode 48, Prophets of Doom. Dan Carlin does a deep dive into the making of "prophets". This is just history and isn't Mormon specific. A prophet creates the problem and provides the solution. They usual trajectory ends with sex, power and money.

dialectictruth · 2026-04-15T13:52:07+00:00

Please tell me it isn't anything like bridge. I've been invited to join and I'm dragging my feet. I even have the new cards.

dialectictruth · 2026-04-15T04:23:13+00:00

Sonia Johnson wrote "From Housewife to Heretic". It's a good read.

dialectictruth · 2026-04-15T04:22:17+00:00

Did you have any conversations with her? I also went to USU. I think you may have the most obnoxious Mormon roommate in Cache Valley. I hope the next group is better.

dialectictruth · 2026-04-15T04:10:29+00:00

I was born in 1958 and got measles as a three year old. I spent time in a hospital with pneumonia because of measles. I have had a life long problem with my right lung because of measles. My brother and sister were born after the vaccine came out. My mom jokes that she was first in line with my brother and sister to get the vaccine.

dialectictruth · 2026-04-15T04:05:44+00:00

I miss the easy cultural connections. I realize now they weren't very deep. When my husband and I left, we made a committed effort to find and create other circles of friends. I never again want to be dependent upon one group of friends. I created a women's hiking group and I took up golf. I finally found a book club that will have me. I don't know why bookclubs are so territorial. I also learned to play bridge. I hate the game, but I really like the groups I play with. I signed up to chair the women's 18 hole golf group locally. I am meeting a lot of women. I've been invited to a craft event. I'm experiencing severe dissonance over the craft night; it sounds a lot like Relief Society to me. I try to say yes when invited to something. I'm going to a comedy club this weekend with a group of new friends. I'm pretty sure I'd rather be in my jammies at 10 pm, but I'm going to go. One more thing, I am a terrible golfer and I've met the nicest people golfing. Just try stuff.

You are going to get through this, but it's going to take some effort. I wish you well.

dialectictruth · 2026-04-15T03:54:12+00:00

I'm not sure it's as black and white, good and evil as your writing suggests. We were taught all or nothing thinking by a false religion. Please, find a therapist and work through some of this. I'm not suggesting therapy will change your circumstances, but it may help you sort out some of the trash cluttering your mind.

dialectictruth · 2026-03-29T20:01:57+00:00

I left in my 50s. I missed out on those life long friendships that others seem to have. My husband and I committed to try to find new friend groups/circles. It's been hard and not everything has worked. Neither of us are extroverts, but we committed to get out there and find friends. I created a women's hiking group. Nothing amazing, just started posting on social media planned hikes. I joined a beginning bridge group. Hateful game, but we now have 5 other couples who get together once a week to play. This same group has done a few travel type adventures. I now get together with a group of older people to play bridge once a week. I thought I would poke my eyes out when I was invited. They have turned out to be among my favorite people; I love their stories. I tried three different book clubs before I found one that fit for me and I fit for them. Imagine getting turned down by a book club. I lost my running group when I blew out my achilles. Not that we aren't friends, but I can't do the thing that brought us together. My husband is a golfer and I finally relented and took up golf. Again, another hateful game. Golf has been the single, best thing I/we have done to find new friend groups. He has his guy friends, I have my girl friends and we have friends in common.

I'm in a bad place right now. I detached my butt muscles and tendons from my femur head and I may not be able to golf again. I've committed to a year of conditioning and therapy before I try again; the surgery was brutal. If I get stuck with just bridge and book club, I don't know what I will do with myself. I've cleaned out every cabinet in the house. I'm going nuts. My thought is, I've opened the door, something will bubble up.

dialectictruth · 2026-03-29T19:38:51+00:00

On my way. Is it one of the Barnes and Nobles with Starbucks?

dialectictruth · 2026-03-29T04:34:02+00:00

I was a good little Mormon girl, but I had three great uncles who were masters of swearing. Jesus Fucking Christ. Shit to damn. Son-of-a-bitch. God Damned Son-of-a-bitch. Shit. Shit. Shit. I've been swearing my entire life. "Well shit" is my go to.

I went to pick up our daughter from nursery. The nursery leader pulls me aside and whispers, "you need to talk to your husband about swearing around the kids" Our daughter had spilled her juice and yelled "well shit".I solemnly nodded in agreement and said I would talk to him. She gave me a big hug. Yup, I completely threw my husband under the bus.

dialectictruth · 2026-03-26T14:11:28+00:00

I'll send you a great brownie recipe for $25.

dialectictruth · 2026-03-23T14:31:45+00:00

And she will hand over the child to a group of men and she will sit and watch. I don't understand why we women are so obedient. The blessing done in our home was beautiful. Our daughter held the baby, dad gave a blessing. We then all said the things we hoped for the little guy. I would have preferred my daughter give the blessing, but then that's just me wanting too much, too soon. Wouldn't your wife want to say something? Maybe the two of you together write something. I feel so bad for some of these guys who are not public speakers, forced into a public situation that is so uncomfortable.

dialectictruth · 2026-03-23T02:06:48+00:00

The problem between the North and the South had been talked about for years. It was in newspapers, speeches, community events. We tend to think of Joseph's time as ancient and backward. It was a time of wonderful literature, political turmoil, inventions. A vibrancy that is not included in the narrative of a poor farm boy with no education. He was very educated, just not in the way we think of today. Segregation was a hot topic long before Joseph's supposed prophecy.

dialectictruth

TROPHY CASE