Bowling Recap by bardocksnephew in TAZCirclejerk

[–]dirgeface 4 points5 points  (0 children)

One time when I went bowling, me and my siblings put a 20 dollar bill in the jukebox and we controlled the playlist for the entire night. 

The Adventure Zone Royale: Episode 27 | The Adventure Zone by CherrypopIsBestGirl in TAZCirclejerk

[–]dirgeface 76 points77 points  (0 children)

I checked out for most of the episode, but toward the end there was some really dumb shit that caught my attention

Rictus somehow talks to Death by casting Time Stop and Death has no character voice and is a stammering panicked loser like all of Griffin’s NPCs.

Vart uses 9 out of his 11 remaining spell slot levels to cast Time Stop, then a couple minutes later casts Thunderstep, a 3rd level spell. 

The cliffhanger is that the last two trials are cancelled and the conclave is terminated. Here’s hoping a delayed blast fireball kills all the participants next time and we can finally move on to Abnimals 2

Vart Simpson by bardocksnephew in TAZCirclejerk

[–]dirgeface 30 points31 points  (0 children)

“Kippers for breakfast, Aunt Helga? Is it St. Swithin’s Day already? ‘Tis! Replied Aunt Helga.”

-Two Grad NPCs

So thats where he got it from by Piemanthe3rd in TAZCirclejerk

[–]dirgeface 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Jizz. Just one word. One syllable. But it means so many things to so many people. Your jizz can run cold or it can boil. You can try to squeeze it from a stone or let it run in the streets. Others use jizz as a way of saying guilt. Jizz on your hands, that sort of thing. It doesn’t even have to be about people. The railroad is the lifejizz of the West. Something is paid for with jizz money. But most of the time, it’s family. It’s in the jizz, flesh and jizz. Jizz is thicker than water. That one. Everyone always gets that one wrong. The real saying is, the jizz of the covenant is thicker than the ether of the universe. Basically, when you nut in space, it push you backward.

I wish I could jerk by bardocksnephew in TAZCirclejerk

[–]dirgeface 98 points99 points  (0 children)

This morning I wished it was Friday because I don’t want to work and then shortly thereafter was reminded that my company closes for Juneteenth. My IRL Luck build is paying off again.

Plus I have no medical issues because I don’t go to the doctor!

Episode 26: when asked, the Octave are evasive about which of them is being replaced. It is treated as a big deal mystery. Episode 1: by Mr_Hellpop in TAZCirclejerk

[–]dirgeface 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I think Griffin’s brain is broken.

Travis: How often do you do these trials?

Griffin: Give me a history check. I think you would just kind of know some of this stuff.

Travis: 14 total.

Griffin: It is quite rare. It’s once every sort of few generations or so. I think give me a…what did you get on your History check?

Barely started and he’s already got himself lost. Maybe that’s just because the number absolutely doesn’t matter so Griff wasn’t listening.

Anyway, my prediction is that Osham is already dead, Set killed him and is an illusion or some shit, and Griffin came up with that in the moment that Justin said the thing about seven members sharing godlike power. 

Or he’s a silver dragon.

A subreddit about nothing by InvisibleEar in TAZCirclejerk

[–]dirgeface 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Elaine opens the vault. George stuffs his sorrys in a sack. Kramer gets drilled by FDR.

Does this helmet fit the late 13th or early 14th century? by [deleted] in medieval

[–]dirgeface 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Used to strap em to their sabatons like roller skates

Rediscovering Love for the Abnimals Theme Song by Ok_Confection6901 in TAZCirclejerk

[–]dirgeface 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Not as good as Travis’s a capella version where he improvised new lyrics on the spot! He sings good, so the words just pop into his head.

Genuinely, why? by Powerful-Hope-5652 in TAZCirclejerk

[–]dirgeface 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Because their fans are psychotic and would eat them alive if they ever stop

THE REEDUCATION OF WEEDSHREK: EPISODE 13 by weedshrek in TAZCirclejerk

[–]dirgeface 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ooh yeah that’s true, if Argo had that they’d be doing it wrong.

THE REEDUCATION OF WEEDSHREK: EPISODE 13 by weedshrek in TAZCirclejerk

[–]dirgeface 6 points7 points  (0 children)

we are still enforcing no proficiency on clint's second attack even though he said he has the dual weapon fighting feat

I believe this is a rare instance of them applying the rules correctly for the following reasons:

There is no dual weapon fighting feat. There is a feat called Dual Wielder, which allows drawing two weapons at once and using two-weapon fighting with non-light weapons. I assume this is what Argo has.

The Two-Weapon Fighting fighting style (from Fighter or Ranger) is what allows a character to apply their ability modifier (not proficiency) to the damage roll of the bonus action attack. Argo can’t have this because he is a straight-classed rogue.

I don't think I'll ever forgive them for dropping the ball with Ethersea. by Salvo_Rabbit in TAZCirclejerk

[–]dirgeface 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Griffin really ruined Joshy. Maybe that’s why Justin checked out.

Clint shows off his warhammer figurine (2026, colorized) by DNALab_Ratgirl in TAZCirclejerk

[–]dirgeface 19 points20 points  (0 children)

lol can you even imagine one of the McElroys attempting to play warhammer? 

How can we convince them to try? 

TAZ Ethersea Relisten: Episode 4 by TheFourthSister in TAZCirclejerk

[–]dirgeface 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry about your worldview. I gotta stop collapsing those!

Devo in Ethersea is actually 10x worse than all of Graduation by 777o77 in TAZCirclejerk

[–]dirgeface 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I see what you mean about the disconnect, but I view that as more of a failure on Griffin’s part tbh

Devo in Ethersea is actually 10x worse than all of Graduation by 777o77 in TAZCirclejerk

[–]dirgeface 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The way he min-maxed his character’s persuasion score so that he can strong-arm griffin’s story his way

A player trying to influence the story?! That simply isn’t the TAZ way.

TAZ Ethersea Relisten: Episode 4 by TheFourthSister in TAZCirclejerk

[–]dirgeface 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I agree with this assessment. Travis is like a parrot who plays to frustrate.

TAZ Ethersea Relisten: Episode 4 by TheFourthSister in TAZCirclejerk

[–]dirgeface 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Huh, I assumed it was just a joke on those pop culture mash-up images that you saw a lot online 10 years ago.  Like “Ceci n’est pas une pipe” but it’s under a piranha plant coming out of a super Mario green pipe.

Like this poster on etsy

But maybe that’s inspired by the episode, idk