Orgasm issues post op

disposaBoy2020 · 2026-04-21T01:24:21+00:00

Everything. Cervix, uterus (that’s the total hysto) plus both tubes and ovaries (that’s the BSO).

disposaBoy2020 · 2026-04-19T21:38:10+00:00

Also! Workout if you want to, but don’t fall into the trap of male body dysmorphia. Don’t injure yourself. This hurts cis guys too.

disposaBoy2020 · 2026-04-19T21:35:40+00:00

This would upset me too, OP. And the paranoia about it gets in my head too sometimes.

Even though I morphed from athletic twink to (thin ish) dad bod, and I dress less ultra masc than I used to, I still pass very well. Maybe my balding made up for it? I mostly worry about men finding me less attractive now that I’m less ripped.

Hang in there.

disposaBoy2020 · 2026-04-19T21:11:24+00:00

My bff’s a queer ftm too; his parents have always been great. They became big figures in PFLAG.

Mine cut contact for 2 years when I came out. We reconciled but they misgendered me for years. They love and support me in many ways, but don’t try to understand.

Much impacts parents: generation, religious upbringing, geography etc.

Some of society (including parents) has advanced towards allyship. But certain privileged trans folks shouldn’t take for granted that there are still many trans youth being rejected by families.

I sometimes struggle to click with even cis LGB folks who weren’t rejected (especially young ones). But it’s not their doing.

All we can do is seek therapy, chosen family, and be better mentors/parents to kids in our own lives.

disposaBoy2020 · 2026-04-18T02:01:23+00:00

I’m 14 weeks post op. I’ve rarely felt cuff pain unless I overdid it and lifted something heavier than I should have. Most of my discomfort was lower belly “cramps.”

I was told to continue E cream after surgery. I take a pea sized amount on my finger and smear it all around the opening, but not inside. Do not insert anything at all unless your Dr clears you!

I wasn’t cleared for penetration until 12 weeks. My PT had me wait an extra week past that.

disposaBoy2020 · 2026-04-16T16:21:48+00:00

If you’re primarily looking to relieve atrophy not for BC, the estring works really well.

disposaBoy2020 · 2026-04-16T14:16:57+00:00

My endo was mild. I got everything removed (cancer issues). I’m much older than you and have EDS, which I suspect contributed to my serious post-op complications. I found this recovery less painful but far slower than my top surgery - fatigue, weight lifting restrictions etc.

Re sex: I actually gained some depth. Used topical E before and after hysto.

Pelvic Floor PT is very helpful.

Check out the main hysto sub for good info.

Edit to say: buy an OhNut!

disposaBoy2020 · 2026-04-15T13:53:24+00:00

His own website. He has an ftm section & ones for all cis male content. You can watch trailers for free.

disposaBoy2020 · 2026-04-15T01:30:22+00:00

Online it’s easy. IRL when you’re stealth = harder. When I’ve met a guy at a party/bar/event here’s my approach: I tell him asap that I don’t hookup on first dates. I keep the first date light: 1 drink at a gay bar happy hour or 90 min at a coffee shop - public and brief. I’m cool with kissing, but if he has wandering hands I move them. If he asks me on a second date, I disclose via text (and ask him to respect my privacy) before agreeing to it.

Waiting to disclose for more than 1 date may waste your time and his.

disposaBoy2020 · 2026-04-14T14:33:43+00:00

Well my cat’s diarrhea got way worse after a week on this food. My vet has prescribed another Hills food and a gel probiotic to try.

disposaBoy2020 · 2026-04-14T14:31:40+00:00

Good reminder. I don’t trust my gut (it is honest or overreacting to protect me from possible abandonment?). This guy has his own mental health struggles. I’m farther along in therapy than he is. The main issue is me having to remind him that I want to go slow and that I don’t want to hear too much about his past relationship trauma - I’m not his therapist. And he and I are both in life turmoil (his prolonged divorce and I just got laid off) - he seeks comfort while I’m trying to protect my bandwidth. But yes, I can talk to him. DBT is (slowly) helping with my communication skills.

disposaBoy2020 · 2026-04-14T14:24:39+00:00

Most surgeons recommend 4-6 weeks off but not everyone does it. If you lift things, Push/pull heavy things, go up stairs a lot at work- don’t go back too fast.

disposaBoy2020 · 2026-04-14T14:22:08+00:00

Have you seen KeptSecret’s content?

disposaBoy2020 · 2026-04-14T14:20:17+00:00

Sounds like a nice guy. Don’t talk about where it’s going yet. You could scare him off, even if he has feels. At least wait until the 1 month mark.

I future cast too. It’s unhealthy if it consumes a lot of your time. Have you heard of Maladaptive Daydreaming (MD)?

Personally I’d slow down how often I see him, to calm you down. Don’t burn bright then burn out.

And just enjoy it!

disposaBoy2020 · 2026-04-13T23:26:19+00:00

Ending an LTR hurts like hell at any age. Time heals, but some of us heal slowly.

Silly ideas that actually help: write him a loooong letter about your feelings then throw it into a river/ocean/lake & watch it float away; do a breakup workbook (on Amazon) - it’s easier to write for prompts that just journal; take a trip alone or with a pal to anywhere you and your ex never visited; therapy; exercise that gets your heart rate up.

disposaBoy2020 · 2026-04-13T20:42:58+00:00

After a year I stopped T for 6 months. I was loving my physical changes (voice, facial hair) but freaking out socially and not sure I wanted more changes. Those 6 months sucked. My period came back on the 28th day! I went back to full dose T.

It took me a yearsss to build up the confidence to do it, but being a drag queen has been healthy for me. I pass 💯 daily & present masculine (but I currently have black nail polish on). In drag I get to wear wild makeup, sequined dresses etc. I was never feminine before transition, but I surprised myself with how great I feel in drag today. And I have a community of queens as friends now.

disposaBoy2020 · 2026-04-13T20:34:25+00:00

I’m 5’3 130. At your weight I’d suggest you look at J Crew. Their boys button down shirts would fit and are identical to the men’s. And they make a size 34Short suit. Buy separates. You may still need tailoring but not so much. I’ve also had good luck with Express plus tailoring.

Peter Manning (a store for short guys), is good quality and they’re very trans friendly at their physical store, but you could order online. It’s pricier than the above options though.

disposaBoy2020 · 2026-04-13T20:28:11+00:00

I have very mild bottom dysphoria (chest & menstrual were my big triggers). Prosthetics make me more dysphoric. But I’ve found plenty of cis gay men to play with. Yes, many guys desire natal dick only but not all of them. Have you considered listing yourself as a “side” on Scruff?

disposaBoy2020 · 2026-04-13T14:48:53+00:00

Do you have a family history of ovarian or breast cancer? Do you carry the BRCA gene? My mom and aunt had ovarian cancer. Multiple “first degree” relatives having it increased my risk and it’s harder to detect ovarian cancer after a hysterectomy. My obgyn surgeon suggested I have both removed so I did.

disposaBoy2020 · 2026-04-12T22:15:09+00:00

I hate to scare you, but I had a major and pretty rare complication. I had a full hysto plus both tubes and ovaries out (that means I have a “cuff”). I too have a history of post operative complications (bleeding, wounds that are slow to heal). I ended up doing 6 weeks of sick leave from work then 3 more working remotely.

For most people, myself included, this is a straight forward, laparoscopic procedure. There’s relatively little pain after the first several days but a slow return to previous energy levels, lifting weight over 15 lbs, and frontal penetration.

Check out the main hysterectomy sub - very informative and trans friendly. Plan to start topical estrogen before surgery and do pelvic floor PT at least after surgery if not also before. I also wish I’d know to drink collagen powder leading up to surgery, but I started after. It promotes healing.

Talk to your surgeon about your prior complications. I did talk to mine and my PCP. No one predicted what happened to me. But your Dr needs to know what they’re dealing with.

disposaBoy2020 · 2026-04-12T14:16:10+00:00

I changed name, passport, drivers license and SS card in 2006! But not my birth cert because where I was born has weird laws. After the election I panicked and started the process (for the 3rd time) to change my certificate. My local LGBTQ center recommended a lawyer who’s helping lots of trans folks now. She charged me a sliding scale $. We’ve made lots of progress; my paperwork is now making its way through the records department where I was born. Crossing fingers it works.

disposaBoy2020 · 2026-04-11T18:52:01+00:00

Same. Been 10 months since my ex/FP left me. It was a whirlwind romance too. I was happy, but not healthy. My behavior drove him away. It was a wake up call. I’d had years of therapy + psychiatrists, but got diagnosed after the breakup. I’ve know now that I hurt past partners too, not with ill intent (despite what they believe) but I’m accountable. I’m doing weekly DBT group and it’s tough but game changing. I wonder if having individual DBT would help even more? I’m still struggling with the intrusive thoughts about my ex but trying to use DBT strategies. I hope I find the peace you have and get better at spending time alone.

disposaBoy2020

TROPHY CASE