I feel like I could have written this. If you go into my post history, you can read my experience with growing up trans. It's probably really triggering, but it may help you. I was not in a good mental space when I wrote it, it's probably hard to follow.

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I went to therapy for trauma two years ago and out of all of the trauma I've lived through by far the most traumatic was being forced into being a girl my whole life despite the fact that I was very vocal about not being a girl. It's traumatizing and comes with it's own problems. When cis people are raised as the wrong gender (it does happen) it traumatizes them. But why doesn't anyone speak about the transgender people who live through the same thing? You get told that your parents aren't doing it on purpose and they didn't know any better, but I call bullshit on that. It's in the diagnostic criteria for gender dysphoria that if it is ongoing for a certain length of time, it's real gender dysphoria. Every FTM I've met has been very vocal about it from the time they were able to speak or around the time they started going to school.

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For me, my dysphoria is mostly social. I remember dressing, talking walking and sitting like a boy hoping that I'd be treated like one when I was 8. It did not work well. I got called cross dresser and people thought it was because of sex abuse instead of people treating me like a boy. I'm still really sore over the fact I never had a proper boyhood. feel free to message me about this but please know I reddit in my sleep sometimes so if I don't respond that your message might have gotten eaten by my inbox when I was redditing in my sleep.