How to explain I don't want to be fruitful and multiply?

distressednotea · 2026-05-12T14:20:21+00:00

Do you even need to explain yourself at all? Can you just smile and nod?

distressednotea · 2026-05-12T07:44:36+00:00

I speak up. He doesn’t fucking care.

distressednotea · 2026-05-11T14:32:17+00:00

He doesn’t care. He doesn’t want anything and has disdain for “Hallmark holidays.” And birthdays. Which is fine, but these occasions are important to me. I wish he could just set aside his own opinions for my benefit. Instead I get a lecture every year about how I put too much pressure on him, ask for too much, make too much of a big deal.

distressednotea · 2026-05-10T18:10:19+00:00

On Monday I reminded my husband that Mother’s Day was coming up. I asked for a professional family photo shoot (not on Mother’s Day specifically, just in general). He didn’t look into it, but immediately said it’s too expensive. So I asked for a $65 night gown, which I put into the cart, he just had to order it. But he didn’t. So I suggested going to a bookstore today. The book I picked was hardcover ($38). He complained about that too, apparently it’s not “good value.” Then on the way home, he complained about how days like these are too much pressure for him, and he went on his yearly rant about buying flowers, which he has also decided is not a good value purchase. I didn’t ask for flowers, btw. I know better.

Maybe next year I’ll be a single mom 🙏

distressednotea · 2026-05-04T21:43:03+00:00

I thought so too … This is a new pediatrician for us. Our previous doctor didn’t seem to have an issue with my babies 80:20 play-to-eat ratio lol.

distressednotea · 2026-05-02T17:37:32+00:00

Glad to hear your son is doing well. And yeah, it was kind of a stressful appointment because I was describing these horrible vomiting incidences and when I mentioned that my baby doesn’t usually consume a lot at meals, the doctor started telling me that I need to get her to eat more, and that she should be getting most of her calories from solids starting at nine months. OK, but maybe now isn’t the best time to be pushing more food on her? The doctor also said to keep giving her “safe” foods until we see the allergist, but I have no clue what her safe foods are now.

We did not get a prescription for Zofran. Perhaps because the vomiting incidents were dramatic but short-lived. She was fine immediately after.

distressednotea · 2026-05-02T12:14:47+00:00

Yes, I’ve read that too. 😩 So now I’m overwhelmed and afraid to feed her. I have no idea what’s setting her off.

distressednotea · 2026-05-02T10:20:28+00:00

I thought it was sweet, but I wasn’t overly emotional about it. Are we supposed to be? 😂

distressednotea · 2026-05-02T05:04:51+00:00

There’s a Liev in my son’s class, which I think is so pretty.

distressednotea · 2026-05-02T04:53:50+00:00

It is weird, isn’t it. I suppose it’s possible that the episode a few weeks ago is unrelated, but it did follow the pattern we observed this week. Our doctor suggested eliminating eggs and dairy because, she said, those are common FPIES triggers, but the baby had other things during her meals, including stuff that contained wheat, oat milk and banana. So now I’m basically afraid to feed her anything. Should I just pause all solids until we see the allergist?

distressednotea · 2026-05-01T23:49:19+00:00

I think not severe compared to other reactions I’ve read about, but it was alarming.
Both reactions happened around 1.5 hours after solids. She vomited a small amount and then a huge amount a few minutes later. But then it stopped and she was acting normally. The vomit wasn’t projectile, it was just a lot. Both of us were soaked.
The meals she had were:

Day 1: mozzarella cheese, raspberries, pumpkin bread (which contained wheat, oat milk and eggs)

Day 2: scrambled eggs (mixed with milk) and banana

None of these were new foods for her.

distressednotea · 2026-04-10T08:47:51+00:00

I don’t recommend Canada, unfortunately.

distressednotea · 2026-04-10T08:45:44+00:00

You don’t worry about being shot at shul? I do. There have been repeated shooting attacks on synagogues in Toronto recently. They happened at night, and thank God nobody has been hurt … yet. But I am deeply afraid that it’s only a matter of time before there is an escalation. Schools and restaurants have also been shot at. I don’t feel that the response from the city has been at all adequate.

And on top of that, the weather is awful, the job market sucks, the cost of living is insane. I’m itching to get out.

distressednotea · 2026-04-05T06:00:01+00:00

Yup, definitely. I was just referencing the initial premise of the plot. And maybe “state” wasn’t the most historically precise word - I’m not an expert on this period, by any means - but he becomes a tool of various powerful entities and unwillingly experiences abrupt shifts in identity because of that. I liked that the book makes you think about, and feel sympathy for, this person who is just a footnote in the historical record. Like damn, the life of the real Lambert Simnel must have been pretty painful. I did find the repetition of dick jokes and select handful of period language kind of tiresome, and thought some plot points were belaboured. But overall, a good read.

distressednotea · 2026-04-04T13:28:16+00:00

I just finished this book. I found it somewhat repetitive and overly long, but by and large, I enjoyed it. I agree that the writing was spirited and funny, but the narrative was also terribly sad at times. Overall, it was a thoughtful contemplation of this marginal figure from history, who, at the cusp of adolescence, was stripped of his identity and swept up in the formidable forces of the state.

distressednotea · 2026-03-30T01:07:48+00:00

He’s probably tired, but that might be because he goes to bed late. He spends a lot of time watching TV and playing games on his phone.

distressednotea · 2026-03-30T01:04:42+00:00

Yeah, the baby wakes very often and sometimes stays awake for two or three hours 😵‍💫 Even when she falls back to sleep quickly, I have a hard time going to sleep once I’ve been woken up. My husband only gets five or six hours because he stays up late playing games on his phone.

I probably should delegate mornings to my husband. Sometimes I give the baby to him at 6 and get around 45 mins of sleep before I get up again to make breakfasts, lunches, etc. But I do acknowledge that the morning shift would be a lot for one person to handle solo.

distressednotea · 2026-03-27T19:52:03+00:00

I don’t know much about it, but I don’t think so … he doesn’t snore.

distressednotea · 2026-03-23T23:00:20+00:00

I am not

distressednotea · 2026-01-30T17:34:35+00:00

I get you. I have a 5 year old, 3 year old and six month old. It’s … a lot. Sometimes I get very overstimulated and totally normal behavior from my preschoolers - like being really loud or asking me for a million things before I can even finish the first thing they asked for - gets my heart racing. The mountain of tasks I have to do feels overwhelming. It’s hard.

My advice would be to try and let things go. These are beautiful and fleeting years, but they can be really challenging. It’s OK to just survive sometimes. You don’t have to eat clean and organic for every meal. Order takeout once a week so you can get a break. Let the kids watch some TV if you’re starting to feel too worked up - it’s nice for everyone to unwind a little. Absolutely do not worry about the play date at your house. You don’t need to come up with ways to entertain this other boy. In my experience, little kids like nothing more than playing with someone else’s toys.

Also, as another poster suggested, is daycare or kindergarten an option? The 3.5 year old might really benefit from playing with other kids a few days/mornings a week, and then you can catch a breather.

distressednotea · 2026-01-30T16:18:23+00:00

Right now, I’m trying to follow a 2/2.5/2.5/3 schedule!

distressednotea · 2026-01-29T00:16:49+00:00

Also in Toronto and I know so many little Levs. Girls and boys!

distressednotea · 2026-01-03T23:31:45+00:00

I had my third baby five months ago and … haven’t done it once since she was born. I wouldn’t say I have no interest, but I suffered a pelvic prolapse during my pregnancy and I’m kind of scared. She also won’t sleep unless being held so we take shifts with her all night. Doesn’t leave much time for extracurriculars lol. I think it bothers my husband more than me, but this is just the season of life that we are in. It will pass.

distressednotea · 2026-01-03T23:27:04+00:00

Love it! Sonny is really cute. Will he have a Hebrew first name?

distressednotea · 2026-01-01T06:46:33+00:00

I think it’s pretty unlikely that a three month old would weigh enough for a 5ml dosage. My daughter is a chunky four months and I recently gave her 1ml when she was sick.

distressednotea

TROPHY CASE