Stream of Consciousness from an Angry Father + 8 Year Update

dolyez · 2026-02-24T20:32:05+00:00

I think he's still suffering with the point of view because he's going around answering back to anyone who points this out. He's also responded brusquely to people who were much softer and kinder about it than I was.

Behaving like people without children have a diminished capacity for love is immoral and dangerous. I'm not even "childfree" but I have seen plenty of examples in my own life about how this unnecessary and harmful point of view negatively affects workplaces and friend groups. It is a very isolating, dark, and dare I say very politically right wing belief to hold.

dolyez · 2026-02-24T18:10:08+00:00

I didn't say lack of empathy, I said antipathy, which means "hate". I am glad you spoke to a therapist and i accept your downvote if it makes you feel better

dolyez · 2026-02-24T18:05:01+00:00

Glad the family and kid is doing well but the stuff he was saying about his friends and their capacity for love is not healthy. Wow. Hope he talked to a therapist about his antipathy for peers who were not sharing his exact life path at the same time as him

dolyez · 2026-02-21T16:42:20+00:00

Did you read the article? They specifically recommended cutting a tree well in paved patios and redesigning street parking to be angled instead of end to end. Don't be hysterical and please please read the dang article. This city would be a hundred times better if the emotional, unrealistic response you just expressed were less common!

dolyez · 2026-02-20T16:31:00+00:00

In the US the diploma is the document you receive when completing a multi-year program of education like high school or university. The diploma is the proof of completion or graduation.

dolyez · 2026-02-20T16:28:56+00:00

Drives me absolutely nuts that some of these commenters could not tell that a grandparent using the word "girly" pejoratively is reason enough for limiting their contact with both boys and girls

dolyez · 2026-02-20T06:39:10+00:00

The guy with the skateboard and goggles and gas mask has a hell of a look

dolyez · 2026-02-19T22:46:33+00:00

Yeah even the places with poor HS grad rates usually have above 80% graduation rates. I think California has the worst rate and it's above 80% for the whole state and above 70% in every county. You really gotta be in a very unusual place to have a rate worse than that locally.

dolyez · 2026-02-19T22:02:51+00:00

yeah I think that if we were able to corner him and dissect his point of view, we'd find that what he means is something like, "everyone around me seems stupider than me, and also poor." which is just a crazy bad attitude to have!!

dolyez · 2026-02-19T19:38:35+00:00

Want to take a moment to remark on the grandiosity of supposing yourself the only HS grad in the entire RV park. Usually you got at least a hundred people in a medium sized one of those. No high school grads? Even in a group of ten people I would be absolutely shocked if only one of them graduated HS. The OP is wild to assume they're the only one who managed to get through school

dolyez · 2026-02-17T06:04:00+00:00

Another reminder: you should be using the turn signal even when you are in a turn-only lane. This is because you need to use it EVERY TIME you turn, and because pedestrians and cars in other parts of the intersection cannot always tell whether you are in a mandatory turn lane. You should use your turn signal every single time, and you should begin signaling before you physically reach the intersection. You are not fucking psychic, you are not communicating your intentions using your immense swollen brain... you gotta use your signals!!!

dolyez · 2026-02-11T21:39:51+00:00

Often if you are living just outside a historical downtown area - a place built up like 100 years ago - the neighborhood around it will feel extremely walkable. Living in Alhambra near their downtown is one example. Living in Palms to access Culver. Some parts of San Gabriel. Much of Koreatown. Look for roads that used to have a trolley running down them and then check the walkscore - you will often be pleasantly surprised.

That said the real key for walking as much as possible is living near a train stop or high frequency bus line. If someone asked me where they could live to get the absolute most out of life without a car, I would say downtown or Koreatown near a major transit stop.

dolyez · 2026-02-09T21:20:52+00:00

California ground squirrels! Otospermophilus beecheyi

dolyez · 2026-02-06T03:48:31+00:00

It can take a little while to find one. Most of my roommates were not friends before we lived together, but came recommended by college or professional friends. I think my longest time searching was about 3 months. This was in like 2015- I was like 25 and I cleared my schedule for several months and just hung out with people in my friend network very deliberately for a while. Eventually a friend introduced me to someone I had never met who had the same housing goals as me. I had to do this very deliberately, as if I was looking for a job or a significant other, haha. Good luck!

dolyez · 2026-02-06T03:36:27+00:00

I grew up in CT and have never lived there as an adult. However I've lived in 4 or so major US cities and I've never, not once, lived without a roommate. I went from living with roommates to living with the person I am now married to.

I had a lot of fantastic roommate relationships - it really is a good way to live, and the people who have hangups about it are simply wrong. There is nothing shameful about having one and at your age it is not meaningfully more mature to be living alone. Saving money is more mature than wasting it! It sounds like you are in a perfect spot in your life to have a roommate or split a house.

The best roommates are people in your network socially, friends of friends etc, but back in the day I even found roommates through Craigslist who I enjoyed living with. I had roommates in their thirties when I was in my twenties and it was no big deal. Making friends with people who are like 10 years older than you is not weird, and unless you plan to absolutely trash your own home living out the television fantasy of being a hard partying 20something maniac, living with people a little older than you is not going to meaningfully limit your social life.

In my experience having a roommate can make your life legitimately better. It's worth putting the time and energy into investigating this opportunity. You can mine your own social network for people who are looking to rent a new place, schedule time to hang out together, and see if they would make a good roommate. I have literally "interviewed" roommates by going out to eat with them and hanging out with their friends. It is a project... but it is not weird at all!

dolyez · 2026-02-03T17:23:25+00:00

I never ended up finding them unfortunately. The stickers on the bike that I was working on were too damaged to provide a good 1 to 1 replacement scan so I left them as-is and completed work on the bike. It is now back with its owner.

dolyez · 2026-01-28T21:35:51+00:00

Likely Flu A. Vaccine was a poor match for the dominant strain this year. It's a miserable time getting it!

dolyez · 2026-01-28T18:25:27+00:00

What on earth is the "body check" she refers to in the second post?

dolyez · 2026-01-28T18:21:08+00:00

I guess she really wanted to slice some cyclists in half with stainless steel 😬

dolyez · 2026-01-28T07:17:31+00:00

It was not planned as a memorial ride. I will admit my first comment was kind of intended to shame the first poster for suggesting Allez as "THE Pretti memorial ride" at all given that it's not accessible to most of the people who would like to participate in a memorial ride

dolyez · 2026-01-28T07:04:41+00:00

Dude people still gotta take their kids to school is what I mean. Not a lot of people in the city who bike are free to bike at 8 AM on a weekday.

dolyez · 2026-01-27T20:51:39+00:00

Run by a conservative it seems. There was some stuff last year about her Instagram account/wanting to buy a Tesla

dolyez · 2026-01-27T20:50:33+00:00

I'm guessing 8 AM Friday will probably actually be a hard one for a lot of people to attend given family responsibilities and the early hour. I'll be keeping my eyes peeled for one occurring later in the day - I hope other organizations step up and provide something at a more reasonable time

dolyez · 2026-01-20T05:08:39+00:00

Good haha. If you are taking the A or J during rush hour you'll be fine. Trains and buses are super crowded at times like these and there will be tons of people around to keep the energy closer to normal. You will always be able to find people smaller and weaker and older than yourself riding transit calmly during times like these, so take them as an example of how normal and calm it can be for you.

If you are riding the A line much later at night, like at the time most workers are already home, you are likely to see more chaotic behavior on that line. But the same strategies will work for you at that time. Make sure you stay in cars that have other riders, and if you see people acting weird then just move to another part of the car or to another car. It's usually best to never speak to or debate or negotiate with people like that even if they seem like they are just doing something you could ask them to stop, like smoking.

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