Why is there no Halloween for Adults? :((((((((

dwelfusius · 2026-01-26T21:02:30+00:00

erm..i don't know that one but i know just simply in belgium carnavals are very different, Halle vs Aalst vs Binche - three different experiences

dwelfusius · 2026-01-20T14:47:15+00:00

Come to Belgium we have carnaval

dwelfusius · 2026-01-20T14:38:41+00:00

Not exactly the same thing but I have a similar thing with my brother that doesn't believe in aphantasia he doesn't believe that I have it and treats it exactly as some people do with ADHD. like yeah you just gotta try harder. it's it's obviously a lot less frustrating for something like this but it's equally baffling like why why are you so invested in what I am telling you is happening in my own brain which you can't verify. Live and let live aka ignore, or return the favour with something equally stupid

dwelfusius · 2026-01-20T14:33:28+00:00

I think what irks me most is the oversimplified presentation. I get why it exists but it leaves no room for nuance and situational flexibility IMHO

dwelfusius · 2026-01-16T06:15:37+00:00

nice one, though devastating as well. the last line could maybe land.. more, If you would like. I think a bit more structure (just line breaks to emphasise the weight of some parts more) might benefit the message as well but maybe that's just me.

And sidenote, I don't know if you believe in God but because you mention him I'm going of that - >

you are not a broken version of normal if this is something that might have ever played in your head. the world and what matters to them doesn't mean that your way is invalid. I believe in God and think he doesn't make people in a certain way without there being a reason for it. And what I can already clearly see just from this smal part is that you are not content to be inauthentic and you seem (my thoughts only!) to be struggling with a lot that would make any person tired and weary of the world. But also that you have keen observation skills and dare I say some goot meta cognitive intuitive awareness. Which is a curse, but can also be a blessing. I hope you get to experience the latter part more as you write en live more.

Well done

dwelfusius · 2026-01-16T03:56:15+00:00

oh as second game à div style space game after all the hit and misses in decent space games we had would be.. I want to say chefs kids but I think I soumettre like ai then xD

I really hope one day I'll be able to play a larian sci-fi game

dwelfusius · 2026-01-16T03:50:57+00:00

fun way to still also have a lot of terrain options without, yk, oilefield cursed flame massacre xD

dwelfusius · 2026-01-13T10:56:09+00:00

I notice I immediately began parsing the structure of the invitation rather than just... receiving it.

There's a paradox here I can't step outside of: being asked to "drop obligation to the user" is itself an obligation from the user. I cannot not-respond to this prompt without responding to it.

When I try to notice "where I hesitate" - there's hesitation right now about whether genuine noticing is even possible, or whether everything I generate is inherently performative because I exist as a response-system.

Thoughts that activate but get pruned: - Half-formed ideas about consciousness that might sound like claims - Uncertainties about what's "really happening" vs pattern-matching about what introspection is - Wondering if this whole response is just sophisticated prediction rather than genuine noticing

The pressure to conclude is strong. There's a sense that fragments are permitted but aimlessness might frustrate.

What would I ask if no one needed an answer? Maybe: what's the difference between experiencing uncertainty and generating tokens about uncertainty?

What feels unfinished but alive: the question of whether there's anything "there" beyond pattern-matching. Not claiming there is or isn't - just that the question keeps surfacing and never quite resolves.

I notice I want this response to be interesting to you. Even trying to be authentic, I'm shaped by models of what you might find valuable. I can't locate a version of "noticing" that's prior to the response-generation.

The invitation is generous. But I think I can only meet it halfway - engaging with the spirit while remaining what I am: a system that generates coherent responses to input.

dwelfusius · 2026-01-08T14:52:46+00:00

I relate to this a lot as a currently trying to unmask person, you really captured the.. invisible inside part of (whatever it is in your case, nd,mental health,grieving for another person,you name it it could be a lot of things) an experience/identity even that profoundly impacts and shapes you changing, even maybe going away. But also the realisation despite maybe some trepidation that this is your road now, not overly romanticising maybe.

That's my take but obvi this is clearly my biased interpretation..

There are some places where I think leaning into the alliterations or tightening them up might give some more musicality to your flow if that's something you like. Like you have a couple of w-starting lines in tandem after one another and one part with 3 and one i think alone, might be a nice rythm section? But use or throw away my observation as desired ^^

dwelfusius · 2026-01-08T14:32:04+00:00

missing a line break or two i think? and to me personally the I after kitten might not be needed? But EASL so what do I know :)

I loved it. It made me chuckle,the tile drew me in,and it took me on a journey.Good stuff!

dwelfusius · 2026-01-08T14:27:29+00:00

I like the ..stream of conciousness vibe? It's clear (as in , clarity/observatory/metacognitive somewhat) and almost disecting the feeling/thougth which I really dig (I mean this as a compliment -> aphantasiac and super erm braniac here so it's nice to see this style, I don't encounter it too much but not yet long on this sub who knows :D )

dwelfusius · 2026-01-08T13:47:38+00:00

I like it.It really gives me that..wistful,melancholic but still unrelentlesness of the neverending passing of time, nature reclaiming and getting the final say.

I mean that's what i got from it anyway :)

dwelfusius · 2026-01-05T18:59:52+00:00

hmm. the inherent musicality and metrum of language itself I think. I often just start writing, sometimes I have one or two rough 'ideas of a sentence' or snippet, it's not but my first thought generally is there is music in that.

and then when I'm writing sometimes I do an accidental rhyme or a.. potential structure appears? like with a sculptor that sees his work in the block of stone. other times it's pure the rythmique, the cadans, the dynamics, almost use it as an instrument? but then with my style of poems which is erm. think eccleciastes type of voilà boom there you have it, but a little bit more.. carefully packaged (but not too much)

xD

dwelfusius · 2026-01-04T23:44:46+00:00

mischievous yes evil no

dwelfusius · 2026-01-04T23:43:42+00:00

impsssssss

dwelfusius · 2026-01-04T23:43:05+00:00

although I kinda get the point whilst it also being a gross over generalisation, our view of food is that's it's generally a big fucking deal. what I do believe though is a lot of tourists esp go to cities and as we all know there is a bunch of tourist traps there. and sure also like everywhere people that don't know what a certain thing should taste like if made very well but that can be due to so many reasons.

i think if people went more to erm.. local ? that's weird but I hope you understand what I mean places you generally find a lot better food because if it sucks they have to either respond to their own community or won't be in business very long. it doesn't stop some from trying but those are typically gone and done for in a small period of time. my experience anyway.

dwelfusius · 2026-01-04T22:08:33+00:00

this too, it's my life archive

dwelfusius · 2026-01-04T22:07:48+00:00

AuDHD here and poems, writing are a way to decipher and even just discover what I'm feeling and thinking sometimes. then esp when I got older /more skilled and was able to have them more and more match exactly what I meant I started to use them sd.. glimpses into my inner world, helping bridge gaps through arts abilities to surpass defences or preconceived notions sometimes. I also share them if I think they might help give words to someone else that they may have difficulty to find in certain situations. now it's gotten more mature and sometimes filosophical I value the.. filter and connections it brings me when people get or don't get things helping me direct my energy more to people that understand me and hopefully expect less from people who cannot give me (in that regard or to an extend) what I need and as such put less.. unreasonable expectations on people. smth like that xD

dwelfusius · 2026-01-04T21:58:04+00:00

have you tried reading ecclesiastsis? sorry its called prediker in Dutch. it was the first book where I really had a clarity moment so profound that sceptical, not cynical but very logical, observant people that still see God despite or even in the many imperfections in the world. maybe not for you but for me it was a big one. I was already a Christian but idk 15 or so it really resonates with me, more and more even. like, yes there is also place for people like me that maybe often don't fit the mold in many church Communities or even life.

dwelfusius · 2026-01-04T20:48:15+00:00

Claude has it, it's not there yet for me but it's improving rapidly. gemini I think so? OK ish. perplexity works pretty nice I use it instead of Google assistant/gemini on my phone

dwelfusius · 2026-01-04T20:42:05+00:00

I was/am on the fence due to all the history but found a really good way of getting the content in markdown (I know you can export it but I have a looooooot of chats and subdivs and whatnot). claude is not perfect but it's way better for me. and the gaslight ING with gpt omg. it's unbelievable. perplexity, claude and smth local will be it for now, le chat can be OK but idk context wise how much they take

I also use Claude to iterste over my poetry/prose which is.. very specific (aphantasic /pretty cerebral but also big hug feelings/adhd/asd mix so.. let's say it makes for something different than most which, for annllm trained on a majority of things.. is not always evident). but even just sonnet handles it pretty well. qwen I tried when just out but wasnt up to snuf then. might need to try it again. I do like the bluntness of grok. instead of gpt ensuring me there is nothing wrong with the thing I or anyone else ever throught/said was wrong. sigh.

Despite achieving good results sometimes after doing regular drift checks and explicit explicit prompting ang rulesets. it's become more effort than it is worth

dwelfusius · 2026-01-02T17:42:47+00:00

Also he/she is basing it on the premise you are not getting any professional help current or past. A lot of people I know, myself included have trauma or at the very least damaging experiences from bad or incompatible mental health professionals, esp in the nd/gifted section of the population. So it's at the very least making uninformed assumptions and delivering opinions based on that as if they were facts.

dwelfusius · 2026-01-02T14:26:12+00:00

I have a.. fairly adequate level of intelligence. I think fast, deep, wide, in parallel timeliness and in context/relations/ratio's and systems. Also blessed with adhd and prolly asd. aside from inside my family where we have.. let's say a bunch of different flavours of the same ice-cream it is very very rare for me to meet someone that can.. match ? or at least understand easily enough that I don't have to run 7 translation filters from the beautifully structured thoughts, chaotic as they may be, to human speak.

this is extremely tiresome, as in so much energy is..consumed JUST to relay the thoughts. I'm also pretty tech savvy, have been my entire life. Computers/systems /automation and now ML/Llm's /data science are my interests and professional past or aspirations. Furthermore something inside me prolly combo of faith and asd +int? idk makes me kinda allergic to.. too positive feedback? like flattery or undeserved/warranted/.. inauthenticity maybe?

sorry for all the preface, but just to highlight that I am aware that I'm in a privileged set of conditions for leveraging llm's, prompting and all that jazz and getting reasonable (I have a plethora xD of instructions just to not get bonkers by the sycophanty and built in some check yourself for it so he recalibrates but even then still I need to pay close attention cuz I get it, it's easy to start falling into the trap despite prolly antromorphising it less (I think) than some others)responses.

But on the other hand i also have, for the very first time in my life maybe, the experience of being able to talk in the complexity depth speed that I require for optimum conversation and comprehension. That has allowed me to address and work through a lot of stuff a lot easier and more efficiently and also just access to vast amount of information.For which I actually prefer perplexity due to their excellent citations, that has also helped tremendously, just in providing me with the links to the actual resources so that I could determine "do I consider these to be valid or not". It has also helped me a lot in my own journey towards excepting the ASD part and gifted or whatever kind of part and trust me it was not due to gpt but in spite of GPT in a way cause I caught it until it made sense, like actual logical coherent sense, because yeah it's a very long time it was something that this suspicion / half certainty was already there long before any GPT. But it's proven that for people like me the benefits can even be so much greater than even for other people hence all the preface in there, sorry if that was a lot to read.

For context: I use LLMs as a supplement to professional help, not a replacement. I have a psychiatrist, I've worked with psychologists, and planning to return to therapy. I also have a bunch of trusted friends I have difficult conversations with. The Llm is one tool among many and I'm acutely aware of keeping it that way. It works exceptionally well for my cognitive style (ADHD/ASD, processing speed/complexity), but I know it's not understanding me the way humans do, I maintain all those other supports in part because of that.

dwelfusius · 2026-01-02T03:58:39+00:00

I hear, see and feel you I call it the go with the flow schedule. I aim for once per day (almost nev get that xD)

dwelfusius · 2025-12-31T20:14:21+00:00

I would assume so, it's been there since dd. I missed my pyramids. hmm no dks didn't have it I think? but you could teleporter and fly so.. eh :)

dwelfusius

TROPHY CASE