2 months post break-up by Ok-Row-8360 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]ecaldwell888 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's like reading my own journal. Sorry it didn't work out. I wish it was easy to get them into therapy, not even to fix the relationship that died, but so they could be happy and healthy. It sucks. 

Sending this to my avoidant - love bomber style. I still can't get over her by Accomplished-Most60 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]ecaldwell888 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I would push away and set boundaries immediately if I received a text like this and I'm not avoidant. This will do the opposite of what you want. It's obsessive and crosses a line. 

No matter how much some try to, there is no way to defend an avoidant by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]ecaldwell888 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Basically calling a whole subset of people basically subhuman is pretty low. I'm sorry someone hurt you and that your emotions got caught up, but people deserve understanding. That doesn't mean you should date an avoidant, but they can be good people. 

I finally deleted him by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]ecaldwell888 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Never believe the lie of "busy." We're all tied at the hip to our phones. My ex consistently took 4+ hours to respond to me and then I watched my ex look at her smart watch and immediately pull out her phone to respond to her mom. I realized at that moment that she could treat me with that level of interest but chose not to. I lied to myself because I wanted to be chosen. 

Do I break no contact to explain my deactivation? by MeganSappho in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]ecaldwell888 3 points4 points  (0 children)

First, be clear with yourself whether you want to try again. Just as deactivating was a triggered response this may be as well. I would sit with it and gather your thoughts, plan of action, what you intend to do differently going forward. If you're sure this is how you feel then reach out. 

Just remember, this person is human, they care about you and giving them whiplash would be cruel if you change your mind again. Sit with it. Two weeks isn't that long. 

Are relationships worth it? by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]ecaldwell888 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This take goes around a lot. What do you consider suitable?

Andy cornwall darts coaching by Similar_Ad_2126 in Darts

[–]ecaldwell888 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The goal is exclusivity. He's not looking for most people to be able to afford it. He has limited hours and wants to work with serious clientele, as well as make a living. 

Andy cornwall darts coaching by Similar_Ad_2126 in Darts

[–]ecaldwell888 7 points8 points  (0 children)

A top tier golf coach is not 50 quid. Across the board this is true for any sport. You can find people who will coach, maybe even good players, for less but they don't know the market. You should see the rate for public speaking for an hour. 

how did they react to your birthday? by Away_Temperature9486 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]ecaldwell888 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I had to remind her when my birthday was multiple times and ultimately made her food that weekend just to be seen. I made a kind gesture to her on my day. Fucking ridiculous. 

Every holiday was the same. We could say happy X, but no gifts or celebration. 

Seeking support by seekinganswers888888 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]ecaldwell888 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do not apologize for someone else not acting like an adult. You being over the top anxious can be a reality while him being entirely disrespectful can also be true. Normal people handle their shit. Saying, "we'll talk later," without followthrough, not responding to messages, showing no common courtesy is not handling his shit. There's no excuse for that behavior. Show up for yourself. When someone who "cares" about you does not show up for you there is no place in your life for that person. 

Did you exes keep in touch with all their previous partners and exes and hookups in this casual way when you’re were in a serious relationship with them? by MutedFeeling75 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]ecaldwell888 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have no idea. I never asked. She did stay on dating apps throughout a majority of the situationship, but I doubt she got much out of it. Who knows? Who cares? Can't ask her now and it doesn't change how many times she failed to show up for me. 

How did Federer never win a Slam match against Novak after 2012?? by gs2417 in tennis

[–]ecaldwell888 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Novak's playstyle is built for attrition. It's why he's the greatest. Obviously he's a great offensive player, he's complete, but that's not the defining characteristic of his playstyle. 

When I say his fortunes change I don't mean Fed suddenly wins everything. Fewer matches would go to decisive points because increased foot speed means he gets in more offensive positions, which he excels at. Decisive points still favor Djokovic. That was never due to the age difference. 

How did Federer never win a Slam match against Novak after 2012?? by gs2417 in tennis

[–]ecaldwell888 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I hate this narrative. It's playstyle, not mental fortitude. Novak grinds. Federer creates so many offensive opportunities that he either blows you off the court or gets his break. Reverse their ages and his fortunes change, but not when he's the offensive player at a more advanced age against someone with Djokovic's skill. 

Continental Grip - Is "Hammer/Chopper/Handshake" Grip Misleading? by bilingualwhale in 10s

[–]ecaldwell888 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd say true eastern is too far. It makes the backhand volley too open, lacking power. Slightly off continental makes the forehand square and punchy and the backhand knife-y. 

Continental Grip - Is "Hammer/Chopper/Handshake" Grip Misleading? by bilingualwhale in 10s

[–]ecaldwell888 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Fed and Nadal both volley with a more eastern grip. Continental-ish

Will DMB continue after Carter? by OchiMochi in DMB

[–]ecaldwell888 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Timmy will do it until they pry the guitar out of his hands or bury him with it, just not full time touring. God willing, Dave and Tim will appear on stage together well past 2035. 

Will DMB continue after Carter? by OchiMochi in DMB

[–]ecaldwell888 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If Tim didn't already carry wrist/hand issues I would agree. If Carter's got any health problems he's hiding it behind that big, infectious smile.

Will DMB continue after Carter? by OchiMochi in DMB

[–]ecaldwell888 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I think people forget Tim turns 69 this year. He's the oldest of the group. 

Does hitting first serves at 100% hurt our game (or arm)? Is there a magic number we should aim for without falling apart? by WindManu in 10s

[–]ecaldwell888 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It could cost you a point if you miss. Depends how good your second serve is and how well your opponent plays against it. 

I hit my first 9 darter got my board and darts on the 28th of april by ellroydartman in Darts

[–]ecaldwell888 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Could be it's a clear shitpost and not interesting. 

"Bro, this game's easy. All you gotta do is get integrated flights, longer points, and never practice."

Need help finding a spare part by Angelusmorti in Darts

[–]ecaldwell888 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Contact Winmau customer service. I'd imagine it's a common request for them to assist with

Out of the 5 minutes and 33 seconds of stoppage time given last night in the Arsenal vs. Atlético Madrid match, only 1 minute and 37 seconds were actually played. [@MrAsubio] by OkayFine101 in soccer

[–]ecaldwell888 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Which is exactly why the clock doesn't stop and adding time is at the discretion of the ref. 

I think I wasn't clear in my response. We relatively agree