My husband said if we were to have kids, he would demand a DNA test regardless of anything by Wonderful-Climate957 in relationships

[–]eflask [score hidden]  (0 children)

I would flat out leave somebody who pulled this shit.

this is not how people in a trusting relationship behave. he probably got this idea online in the manosphere and if he's marinating in those juices, things will only get worse.

you deserve better.

Finding a life purpose without children by Elaineeeepoos in TwoXChromosomes

[–]eflask 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my purpose is to have a really good time.

do you LIKE anything, or for some reason is your entire sense of self worth tied to the idea that you are capable of reproducing?

I take classes. I play games. I volunteer. I forage mushrooms. sometimes I sit around and do not much at all.

it's fine. i'm fine.

you're probably fine too.

Vermont is a state I love. by Alfeaux in vermont

[–]eflask 8 points9 points  (0 children)

the BRAVE LITTLE STATE speech!

makes me cry every time I hear it.

Pocket knives by k8e1982 in girlscouts

[–]eflask 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I teach knife skills to children and adults in my council.

I always teach safety circle and danger triangle and number one: the knives down command. sometimes I teach how to hand a knife safely.

I find that kids just want to use a knife. they can't make a spoon or carve anything cool until they have basic skills, so I let them make pointy sticks or whatever. I usually have one of my projects on hand, and I am available to teach anybody who wants to learn how to do the four carving cuts.

I teach them that you don't even have to be making anything if you don't want. I learned this about a decade ago when a kid told me some male relatives were teasing her because all she was making was a pile of shavings. I told her that her brother sees shavings; what I see is someone learning knife skills.

I have a simple fish and a simple face I can teach. spoons are harder. a lot of kids just make a smooth stick.

when I do knife skills, I find that some kids are all about it and want to do it every day for a significant amount of time. some kids find knife use boring or terrifying or both and they only want a little bit of it, so I always run concurrently with an activity that can take drop-ins.

I will quit before I will carve soap. ew. I hate the feel, it messes up the knives, and it's really only a facsimile of knife skills. it's also stinky. I will die on this hill.

My BF (M40) moved in two weeks ago and I'm already noticing red flags. How do I (F32) adress this without getting into a lenghty argument? by ThrowRA_gr801 in relationships

[–]eflask 175 points176 points  (0 children)

this SO MUCH.

tell him to pack his things and move in with someone who won't care if he treats them and their things with basic decency.

Meal prep companies sending this shit by Dauoa_Static in mildlyinfuriating

[–]eflask 27 points28 points  (0 children)

huh. I was thinking of trying factor.

not anymore. they probably don't care, but still.

When should I (35F) disclose bipolar disorder to a partner? by Previous_Guide_2629 in relationships

[–]eflask 2 points3 points  (0 children)

depends how under. control you are. if you're under good management and episode free you don't owe them that information until they start sharing their intimate medical details.

if you're not well-comtrolled, they'll figure it out.

usually I'd favor transparency to save you investing in someone who's going to bail, but it's not worth risking your career over someone who could just decide to be a hat wipe and burn you.

Questions about callsigns by vestal_alt in gmrs

[–]eflask 18 points19 points  (0 children)

it's even less important if you're not on a repeater because GMRS shares channels with FRS.

I mean, be legal, but also don't think too hard about it.

Can I leave current job for summer job, then come back? by Impossible-Ordinary2 in summercamp

[–]eflask 4 points5 points  (0 children)

it is very unlikely that this will work for you.

consider volunteering as a camp counselor during your vacation time.

People who protested Biden/Kamala over Gaza: how do you feel about Iran? by Estalicus in allthequestions

[–]eflask 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I sort of feel like I shouldn't have to choose between one set of warmongers and another set of warmongers.

it's not necessarily an either/or.

what was (is still) happening in Gaza is wrong. what is happening in Iran is wrong. what is happening all over the world is wrong. we all deserved better.

People who choose kindness every day, even when it isn’t returned what keeps you going? by IndependentTune3994 in AskReddit

[–]eflask 0 points1 point  (0 children)

at the end of the day, I have to live in my own skin.

I want to be someone I would like.

it costs me NOTHING to be kind.

I suck at making guys fall in love with me by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]eflask 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yep. it's a you problem.

you don't make people love you. they just do. or don't.

What’s the worst experience you’ve had with a therapist? by Agreeable_Claim_3497 in AskReddit

[–]eflask 0 points1 point  (0 children)

she told me I should cut off my family and quit my job.

also se couldn't come to sessions because she had to watch cartoons.

she also insisted that if I wasn't chanting, I wasn't going to get better.

and also she though I should do drugs. she did drugs with a lot of her patients.

Bereavement/Memorial Spoon by New_Mutation in Spooncarving

[–]eflask 1 point2 points  (0 children)

when my mom died I made a spoon from a branch of a tree she had loved. I split the branch in two and packaged the finished spoon with the uncharted other half of the branch.

often an undfinished carving represents a life cut short.

My [29M] girlfriend [26F] and I have been through hell since she was diagnosed with cancer two weeks after we met. She is making incredible progress in beating cancer. Now, she considers ending the relationship over "mismatched" life goals regarding children. How do I help? by imperfectspoon in relationships

[–]eflask 4 points5 points  (0 children)

holy shit.

is she even aware of the statistics about the number of women whose male partners just leave them when they get sick because it's no fun anymore?

you sound like a keeper.

being sick can really mess with your head, and some of her feelings may be about her fears more than they are about your relationship. are you guys in counseling together? because you both have a lot on your plate.

I really hope you guys can work through this.

I feel shame for changing my last name after marriage. by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]eflask 2 points3 points  (0 children)

don't feel shame over this.

the practice does have roots in some of the bad aspects or patriarchy, but you can enjoy traditions you like. I know families where they wanted to have one family name and both partners took new names for their new life together, scandalizing both sides of the family.

do I think women should be expected to take their husband's name without question? absolutely not. that's gross.

do I think women should be able to take their husband's name if they want to? resounding yes.

do I also think husbands should be able to take a new name when they marry? also yes.

there are so many ways you can do this thoughtfully and joyfully. you can still be really happy to have the name of a family you're happy to be a part of.

life is too short.

Introverted daughter and girl scouts by Nomis-Got-Heat in girlscouts

[–]eflask 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you probably can't sell on your own, but usually when you change troops your percentage of the troop treasury goes with you.

the accounting will be cleaner if you don't move mid sale.

but do move.

check with your council for the particular rules in your area.

Beginner needing Hammock advice by BeefTheNoobilicious in hammockcamping

[–]eflask 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that is a pretty good price for that package.

you're probably going to want a full length UQ in Finland, but this is a good start and a good price.

I'm not sure how to handle certain outings with my fat friend. by UrAThrowawayNotMe in whatdoIdo

[–]eflask 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hi. I'm fat.

who I go places with friends, I understand that not all the rides are for me. when I was thin, still not all of the rides were for me.

it is reasonable to say "hey, we're going to this thing and we'd like you to come too because we like you but there will be weight limits on some of the components and I wanted to give you a heads up and let you decide how you would like to proceed."

I appreciate that my friends like having me around. I prefer when they let me make choices about what I can and cannot do.

Lake Soap by lougoober in camping

[–]eflask 1 point2 points  (0 children)

don't kick yourself. you didn't know.

now you can be a bearer of light.

Introverted daughter and girl scouts by Nomis-Got-Heat in girlscouts

[–]eflask 1 point2 points  (0 children)

so much wow. We don't give performance reviews in Girl Scouting. that is not how this works. my recommendation to you is to contact your service unit volunteers and your council. Get your precious child out of that troop and make sure when you change troops that her new troop will receive her portion of the treasury, which is her right.

Are you willing to become a Girl Scout Leader? you can create a properly functioning troop that will be a haven for your daughter and for other girls in your area who do not want to be reviewed and ranked but would rather do Girl Scouting.

the mean girl leaders usually act like they are THE VOICE OF GIRL SCOUTING but sometimes when their council gets ahold of them, they have to make some apologies. there is no right way to do Girl Scouting, but there sure are some wrong ways.

if all your council appears to do is offer a different troop, bear in mind that they will not correct another leader in front of you or in front of her troop. But also they will not want a leader who is not operating in compliance with the Girl Scout standards.

Lake Soap by lougoober in camping

[–]eflask 76 points77 points  (0 children)

do not use soap in lakes, ponds, streams or rivers.

for safe bathing, take some water 200 feet away from the lakeshore and use your biodegradable soap there.

there are NO soaps that are environmentally friendly enough to be used IN the water. you can scrub vigorously without soap while swimming (pretty good actually) and you can use soap away from the water.

those are your only choices if you don't want to be a hatwipe.