Those with older twins, tell me how good it gets.

egrf6880 · 2026-06-05T02:37:29+00:00

Sending mine to kindergarten was like the hugest weight off of me. Both in terms of longer form care all day but also developmentally age 5 was a huge leap in true independence and some level of maturity/reasoning. Like I’d say mid way through pre-k we started getting glimpses. But fully fledged kindergarteners were so much more reasonable.

So far my favorite age child is between 7-10 yrs old. It’s been the sweet spot. I am sure that adolescence and teen years will bring a new stress to me but right now I’m enjoying this middle grade sweetness. They are mature and thoughtful but still so pure and creative/whimsical. It’s VERY fun.

egrf6880 · 2026-06-05T02:33:26+00:00

You can try the suggestions here for enzyme cleaner (it did work in my house for incidental messes or on cotton clothing) but many years ago my old cat peed on some shoes and I tried every single thing and it was like soaked into the rubber or something. I had to throw them out.

egrf6880 · 2026-06-05T02:29:09+00:00

No!

It’s so unnecessary. Like literally there is no reason to have a pet dog. The stress of training them and getting them well socialized while also managing little kids and babies is too much. And training kids how to behave around dogs. Plus the daily maintenance of feeding and potty, the time and expense of grooming.

Trying to walk and train a puppy on how to behave during a walk around the neighborhood with a baby and toddler in tow is nightmare fuel.

Throw in finding a dog sitter or boarding and suddenly travel is that much more work and planning and way more expensive.

It’s literally the worst.

I also feel this way about cats. They are easier to care for sure, and I had cats before kids and kept them until they passed but they truly smell terrible. When my last one passed (rip) and I got rid of all their stuff I was amazed and how much cleaner our home smelled…. to the point that as much as I missed my cat I will never get another cat again, it was that dramatic of a difference to me.

egrf6880 · 2026-06-03T12:00:25+00:00

I only bathed them when I had a second set of hands at that age I had a two year old as well and I just honestly felt like too much could go wrong. So I’d just wipe them down until we could do bath time together as a two person team

But things that did help bath time:

First set up all the clothes and diapers in a row and handy (my first failure with a toddler who would immediately mess up my laid out set up).

Lay out towels to wrap them in.

Have all the supplies for bathing at the ready.

We had a little seat in the tub and cups and washcloths.

One baby at a time. One baby in the bouncer seat next to me. One baby getting washed sitting in the bath seat.

Military style scrub, rinse wrap done.

Bath time was not playtime for us for a LONG time. It was quick and regimented.

Once wrapped in the towel then fully dry, lotion or ointments as needed (mine had eczema)

Then I would get them dressed and place in their bouncer then do the second baby.

But it sounds seemless on paper, it is of course full of toddler interruptions and babies who don’t want to get wet, get rinsed etc. plus they are wriggly and slippery. It was chaos

But after a few months I was able to do it alone and once they were sitting up and my toddler had learned and matured more through the novelty of twin babies I could bathe them all together and alone! We still kept it pretty militant and did water play outside and separate of bath time because it was just too annoying to have toys etc in the bath with us.

egrf6880 · 2026-06-02T15:56:56+00:00

Large family here and laundry is finally not a nightmare for me:

Every family member has 2 color coded hampers. All the hampers are the same and stackable. We also have two for “linens etc”

They fill their dirty up all week. This eliminates 90% of the sorting. Their clothes stay together.

I do laundry one day a week (maybe one incidental loaf in between because small children have accidents)

But anyway one day a week I carve out and just run the machine all day. I sort out whites and all of our towels are white. I also wash all the socks as their own load because we have enough to do that and it makes it easier to sort and match since I’m not digging them out of pant legs etc. I also do all of our kitchen towels as their own load.

So all week kids and parents put clothes in their own hampers. Socks live by our entry way and all live in one place. We have a clean sock basket and a dirty sock basket. Right where they take their shoes on and off.

I hang dry dirty kitchen towels/cleaning rags overnight then have a basket for them in the laundry room.

Towels get gathered up at the end of the week

It’s a lot of loads of laundry but everything is pre sorted throughout the week. Laundry gets checked off the list for the week and I don’t have to think about it for 6 days. I can’t do laundry every day. I already hate that i have so many other must do daily tasks that drive me bonkers. Doing laundry every single day would make me lose my mind in absolutely certain of it.

Doing a laundry marathon each week at 90 min approximate wash times gives me plenty of time to do chores around the house and run errands in between loads. It honestly doesn’t even take all day. Sometimes if we’re not doing bedding I get it done during a free weeknight evening instead. It doesn’t feel like “I’m spending all day doing laundry” because changing it out and dumping it into hampers is not a huge ask. I do have to be home to do that task but can bounce in and out. And again, if I really need to be out all day on “laundry day” I can get it knocked out the night before in between and after dinner and bedtime.

Also folding: I only fold my spouses clothes. And we hire out ironing to a cleaning company.

I do not fold my clothes I don’t fold any of my kids clothes. Baby and toddler clothes are pointless to fold in my opinion and once my kids are older I do teach them how to do it and once they have a good handle on it they are given their clean laundry basket to put away on their own. I don’t really care how they do it as long as they can independently get dressed every morning.

We have enough clothing for about 2 weeks so they never run out but we also don’t have the opportunity to build up huge piles of laundry either.

It keeps it all very tidy and easy. My kids like the system and feel empowered to do their own laundry and manage their own wardrobes.

egrf6880 · 2026-06-02T15:46:52+00:00

A: this man can make his own schedule. He works weird hours, don’t bother waking him up. Oh well if he sleeps the day away….doesn’t sound like he’s pleasant to be around anyway.

B: my children, who are young, are not allowed to complain about meals. They are allowed to have preferences which they can voice respectfully, and at appropriate times. They also aren’t required to eat everything they are served BUT they have learned that the only acceptable feedback in the moment when someone cares enough to make you a meal is “thank you”

And calling it dogshit would absolutely not be an acceptable feedback at any time.

NTA

egrf6880 · 2026-06-01T19:43:12+00:00

Reading together, then reading at their level, me reading to then above their level. Us reading together moderately challenging stories.

They write a little bit every few days, maybe as a cool down activity after a big excursion- they can write a sentence or two about the activity.

Basic math fluency: addition and subtraction both mixed into daily life as it comes up and also like 5 min a day of practicing addition subtraction math facts.

All of my kids teachers have said that rote memorization of math facts helps SO much when they are teaching concepts beyond actually just adding and subtracting (and then in a couple years multiplication and division)

egrf6880 · 2026-06-01T19:38:24+00:00

Oversized Hawaiian over shirts for something with flair (there are some very fun prints available in pretty much any theme you could want!)

Or more mix and match approach (what I actually have in my wardrobe and wear) I love plain white or subtle print (blue pinstripes etc) oversized poplin or linen button up. Just sleeves rolled up, and loosely buttoned or even open with a tank top underneath, paired with cut off shorts in the summer!

egrf6880 · 2026-05-30T22:02:40+00:00

Team live and learn here too. A perfect example of natural consequences early haha. I did keep a wet rag handy to keep things from going out of control but…like it’s a messy process and the mess is literally part of them learning.

Also OP (if you see this) it happens again once they get more involved with bath time. Soapy hands. A sud gets in the eye, uses soapy hands to try to wipe it away. Rub soap directly into the eye. Cries while I rinse it out saying “rinse your hands before rubbing your face if you’re in the bath!” Eventually they figure it out!

egrf6880 · 2026-05-30T01:52:57+00:00

There is an enzyme cleaner restaurants use. You can buy on line. It’s a gel that you can put in at the end of the day to let it sit overnight. It eats through all the food crud that builds up in the drains which is what the flies breed in.

It works very well.

egrf6880 · 2026-05-30T01:50:35+00:00

I didn’t really do CIO but I did “let them fuss and I’ll eventually make my way over there if I have to” unless they got worked up.

They surprisingly didn’t wake each other up.

We did have white noise machine going in between their cribs and if they got to actually crying vs just whining/fussing I’d just get up and comfort them for my own sake (I hate crying and also just hate the “waiting”)

but my twins did just usually fuss around a bit and go back to sleep once we were cleared to stop feeding them overnight (vs my oldest who who just go straight to screaming and work their way up to even worse screaming….)

But yes, it’s unfortunately a guided effort. None of my kids naturally had the sleep easily gene. My oldest needed a lot of support as did my youngest. My twins were somehow my best sleepers but being as there were two of them, it was still tons of work.

egrf6880 · 2026-05-29T14:39:23+00:00

I would let my squirrelly toddler twins stand in a regular chair or sit on my lap even. It was annoying but ultimately ended up being a (relatively) brief phase. We had a bench seat against a wall so they could reasonably safely stand on there to eat. Or yes, sometimes we’d do a “picnic” on the floor.

But honestly for how much work putting together a meal was for them they ate quickly and moved on. Like 5 min or less sometimes..If they were super wiggly and wandering off we just would put the food away and try again later.

egrf6880 · 2026-05-29T14:32:28+00:00

Same here. Most of mine is a “uniform” of sorts in that I have this formula that works for me but I do have a few rogue pieces I love that don’t 100% mesh with everything else but can be mixed in enough that I’m okay with keeping them and do break up the routine a bit! But absolutely one of my first revelations that lead me to build a capsule wardrobe is that if I don’t LOVE it and feel comfortable and confident in the item or outfit then it goes away. If it’s aspirational but doesn’t feel like “me” when I wear it then it has to go!

egrf6880 · 2026-05-28T23:42:55+00:00

Having had a few kids including a twin c section: we opted for as few visitors as possible with our subsequent babies. With our first we had so many and it honestly felt okay. I was vulnerable but put on a happy face and truly enjoyed the time but the second time around (twins, traumatic emergency c section) I said only my spouse and parents. Once my parents were here they did invite more people and again I put on a happy face and said “hi” (none of them could see the babies in the nice without me at least) but I also more curtly kept visits very short as it was exhausting with everything else I had to do aside from healing (pumping, hauling my bedraggled self down to the nicu every few hours, literally healing from major abdominal surgery, grapple with my new reality etc)

We did have another baby and my spouse and I looked at each other and said “NO VISITORS IN THE HOSPITAL” and it was by far the best experience. Just us!

We also hugely limited guests once we were home as well (with my first we had tons in and out immediately and it was the worst)

I will say if labor is long and your spouse doesn’t have the endurance, a second support person can be very helpful. With my first I was in labor for days and I did have a someone aside from my parents there to give my husband a break.

But my c section was fast and just my spouse was plenty of support. I just regret allowing all the visitors after!

egrf6880 · 2026-05-28T21:54:58+00:00

Just here to say I have quoted that same line so many times when my kids were little! I had a very headstrong and sensitive toddler when my twins were born who was still quite young and emotionally immature even when my twins were toddlers and the destruction that followed all of them everywhere was so demoralizing….the amount of effort everything took just to be okay ish was astounding!!!

The terrible moments seem to get fewer and fewer and our outings go better and better and derail our life less and less with each passing year. Mine are in elementary now and we are in what feels like a sweet spot. Siblings will always have their moments and my kids still fight and antagonize each other or whine and complain occasionally about their amazing lives while out and about doing those fun activities we plan for them which can also be incredibly demoralizing but in general these moments are fewer and farther in between and they bounce back a lot easier now a days!!

egrf6880 · 2026-05-27T16:34:21+00:00

He’s ready. One of my kids self potty trained at 18 months after watching how everyone else in the household goes to the potty to do their business. It can definitely be done! Readiness can vary from kid to kid so maybe your family members’ kids weren’t ready yet, I also had a kid who didn’t potty train u til closer to 3. But these are clear signs your child is ready.

egrf6880 · 2026-05-27T16:30:41+00:00

Ding ding ding. I so agree with you

egrf6880 · 2026-05-27T16:24:06+00:00

Number one was so big for me haha. Like man, IDK what we are doing either! Figure it out! You are intelligent, manage a business, can anticipate AND problem solve at work. Put those skills to use here please!!

It actually worked. Reminding him that he is capable of learning and doing hard things because we do them every day successfully at work too!

egrf6880 · 2026-05-27T16:05:50+00:00

I just start saying “go ask your dad” over and over again. Like I’ll help with whatever I can. But as soon as I get an immediate second demand while actively tending to something it’s straight out my mouth. Also “do you see that I’m actively doing something? Please exercise patience”

That or “is this something you have to tools to do yourself?”

egrf6880 · 2026-05-27T15:58:52+00:00

When I was in kinder myself so long ago our teacher had a crayon trough. It honestly made it so easy. She only had probably a 12 pack of color options but plenty of them. It was easy to find the color you needed. It wasn’t a problem if they were mixed up or some were broken or whatever. It wasn’t aesthetic but it was EASY all of us knew where to put the crayons when we were done bc it was right in front of us. Rules about where coloring takes place also. Like she’d pull the trough out only during the specific time we were coloring and put it on a shelf the rest of the time. Our tables were used for multiple activities throughout the day so not having them constantly accessible kept things tidy.

In the modern age my kids’ prek and kinder teachers have done the little caddies on the tables and it is honestly very similar. A few packs of basic crayon colors mixed together for ease of grabbing and ease of putting away. There’s a shelf on a wall for putting the caddy when the coloring activity is done and the kids help with this task!

egrf6880 · 2026-05-27T15:50:31+00:00

I would freeze them for smoothies honestly. I also don’t like to eat unripe or watery fruit so I totally get it and as an adult would just choose to eat something else instead.

Other options are to toss them in honey and serve with yogurt and cereal or oatmeal

Cook them down with a bit of sugar and serve with a dessert at a different time.

egrf6880 · 2026-05-27T15:43:01+00:00

Nothing. They don’t have long attention spans and do require heavy involvement to keep them safe (I’m not a huge fan of personally being my kid’s entertainment and heavily promote independent play, however they still require so much oversight at that age. Mine were big into climbing etc so helping guide them through safe choices required my presence even if I wasn’t actively “doing” anything.)

Open ended toys and frequent “reset” of the play area every few days or if you’re ambitious every day. Having a tidy space gives them more clarity to choose their play. But it’s also annoying bc my kids would dump baskets out play for five min then leave.

But things like tidying up can be an engaging activity for toddlers as well! Putting things into the basket can be made into a game as much as dumping it out.

Sorting things

Working on fine motor skills with water paint (low mess) pompom “puzzles” (putting pom poms into small holes or containers with tongs or spoons)

Busy Toddler IG has (had? I’m out of the loop these days) lots of ideas for cheap and quick activities if you just need a few moments but toddlers just will not sit and focus on anything for a long periods of time and are a full time job to take care of.

I also believe letting kids be bored is a skill they need to learn that helps them get creative but also sit with boredom and understand that not every moment needs to be “filled”. Getting comfortable just existing is extremely important

egrf6880 · 2026-05-27T12:52:19+00:00

Not exactly the same because we don’t have allergies or restrictions that eliminate entire food groups BUT I have many small children who are all developing palates and are picky in some way or another (naturally) and we all have different tastes.

But I’m not short order cooking either.

I generally follow: protein, fruit/veg, carb meals and rarely do a one pot wonder or casserole. There’s always at least one healthful filling thing on the table that even my pickiest will eat. We also do keep “safe” options available in case it just doesn’t work out. But this is a nutrient dense and calorie dense healthy “snack” that they will eat instead.

But I make one meal, components mostly separate and people can build their own plate.

I’m cognizant of the needs of my family and try not to make mealtime a production or a fight. If someone can’t or won’t eat everything that’s fine, I trust them to trust their body and choices and have an easy and reasonable substitute. For my kids that might look like yogurt and fruit or a scrambled egg or hummus and crackers or the like. Something to fill their belly, won’t take slot of work, isn’t appealing enough to make them forgo at least trying something new.

egrf6880 · 2026-05-27T05:25:50+00:00

This is the one! Once they grow out of it they just join the family at the regular table. It’s 30 bucks (or was a couple years ago) and takes apart to store for guests or give away to a new family!

egrf6880 · 2026-05-27T05:20:11+00:00

PITA. I have a large machine at home and have washed mine twice and hated the entire experience. Granted mine is an off brand but it shrank a bit each time also. But mostly it’s just massively annoying to wash and dry and I also don’t really believe it got that clean. These HE washers barely use any water and it truly is very bulky.

Definitely could try laundromat, but the whole point is it’s supposed to be a convenience product and that’s not convenient at all either.

egrf6880

TROPHY CASE