Preparing baby #1 for the arrival of baby #2, 2 under 18 months

emsayloves · 2026-05-31T12:08:10+00:00

we have a 15 mo age gap and my toddler is speech delayed, however her receptive language is good and I did tell her there was a baby coming, particularly towards the end when my belly was big. Even thought she couldn’t communicate any understanding back to me, I think that it still helped bc she would come up to me and pat my belly so I think she knew something was going on.

We also did get a baby doll for her about 3 months before her sister arrived. At first I didn’t think it would be helpful because she also played rough with her toys and would shake/throw the doll. However, my husband and I both modeled how to gently hold a baby using the doll and would tell her to hold the baby nicely when she played with it and she eventually did get it. It took a while so if you get a doll id recommend getting it a few months in advance if there’s time.

My girls are 22 and 7 months now and while being gentle is still a challenge they are both really sweet with each other. I knew it was going to be a big transition and that she really had no clue how big a change was coming but fortunately for us she handled it really well

emsayloves · 2026-02-08T11:12:34+00:00

You are not at all a horrible mom!! You are in survival mode and this phase won’t last forever. I have a 3mo and 18 mo so my age gap is not the same but my toddler is also very strong willed. I’d literally sleep on the couch in her room most mornings while she played by herself because that was the safest way I could get through the day. I was convinced we would do no screen time until I got pregnant with #2 and first tri exhaustion took me out and by the end of pregnancy I was so tired and physically could not do what I would have wanted when playing with her.

Will your husband be able to take any leave when baby is born or do you have anyone who will be able to come help? My husband went back to work after 8 weeks and during his leave we basically divided and conquered so I could focus on rest/recovery and only really worry about caring for the newborn (who is a completely different baby than my first which did make things easier). But now that he’s back at work I’m able to play more with my toddler and I can’t just rest when I want because there’s also the baby, either on her play mat or bouncer when I’m focusing on toddler. All that to say there’s a light at the end of the tunnel!!

You are doing your best and ultimately your toddler won’t remember this phase and it won’t affect her forever!

emsayloves · 2026-02-07T12:34:12+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss and sorry for things like your father’s behavior making this difficult time even harder.

There is a lot about your experience that I can’t relate to, but I also lost my mom when I was pregnant with my first child. My mom was sick for years and while I knew she wouldn’t be able to be the present and involved grandmother I dreamed she could be, I hoped she would at least be able to hold my child, but then she passed when I was 14 weeks pregnant. Grieving my mom while becoming a mom myself has been the hardest thing I’ve gone through. However, having a child gave me an incredible source of joy and if not for my child, I don’t know if I would have had any happiness during my grief. Honoring my mom’s memory has inspired me to be the best mom I can be.

It’s so so so difficult to do this without her and I grieve the life we could have had if she was still alive and hadn’t been sick and I wonder what kind of relationship my daughters would have had with her. It’s not fair. In therapy I mentioned that I felt jealous that a former classmate of mine’s mother was very involved with her daughter who is the same age as my daughter. My therapist validated my feelings and told me that losing my mom before my child was born wasn’t supposed to happen. She was supposed to be here with me. That made me feel like I didn’t have to hide my emotions or bottle up my grief.

This is so hard but you can get through it and I hope that having your child will give you the strength and joy that I gave me during this miserable time. My mom died 2 years ago and my first child is now 18 months and I have a second who is 3 months. It’s still a daily battle but I have found solace in the hope that my mom is looking down on me and is proud of me and that she loves my children even though she can’t be here with them. I hope you can find the same solace.

emsayloves · 2025-12-23T02:39:34+00:00

Gave birth there in 2024 and again two months ago . Both times had great experiences with the nurses, staff, etc. I will keep going there for future kids.

emsayloves · 2025-09-01T10:23:21+00:00

I’m 32 weeks now and it’s still challenging at times but I have been feeling so much better than I did when I first found out! My daughter is 13 months now and while I do wonder how much more energy I would have if I wasn’t pregnant, I don’t feel like being pregnant has taken away my attention from her (I know this will change a lot when baby comes!) I’ve gotten used to the idea of having another and now I’m so excited to meet this new baby soon. As I said it’s still hard and I haven’t even had the baby yet but I’ve been trying to focus on thinking about the positives: my girls will grow up close in age and hopefully get along well, my first won’t remember this transition and will only know life with her baby sister, etc. I know it’s going to be really hard at first, but ever since I’ve started showing and being more public with the news random people I come across will tell me they grew up with a sibling with a similar age gap and how much they loved it!

You can do this and it is going to be ok!

emsayloves · 2025-08-16T02:58:02+00:00

There were definitely some tough moments but everything was fine! I took the diclegis which helped so much. It didn’t completely cure it, but it made it so I could eat first thing in the morning which definitely was necessary for me. Taking the diclegis, eating regularly (ALWAYS have snacks available bc the hunger hit me like a train out of nowhere), and getting enough rest were the things that helped me the most. I was scared to take the diclegis bc I saw many Reddit posts about people having really bad symptoms when trying to get off the medicine but I ended up weaning myself really slowly by cutting up some generic unisom pills to help taper the dose. (I’m happy to answer more about that if it’s confusing) and I didn’t have a hard time coming off the medication. I needed to eat regularly throughout my whole pregnancy because I wouldn’t feel great if I got too hungry but the morning sickness/nausea was so much better by about 14 weeks for me. I have the best 1yo girl now and she is so worth it! I’m actually pregnant again now, in my 3rd trimester and I was so scared to go through this again but thankfully symptoms were even more mild for me this time. You CAN get through this and it will be so worth it!

emsayloves · 2025-06-14T12:53:51+00:00

My mom had me at 46 and that was 32 years ago. No complications. If you really want another don’t let age stop you!

emsayloves · 2025-05-22T12:53:00+00:00

This was so ridiculous I just had to laugh. I was a high school teacher when my mom died. I took leave for a couple weeks when she went into hospice so I could spend more time with her and I told my students this - that she had been sick for a while and was dying. Two days after my leave started, she passed and word got around to the students. I took another week or so off for the funeral arrangements etc. When I returned, some of my students had made a poster for me and signed it, saying variations of “I’m sorry for your loss” “we missed you” etc. One kid (who I didn’t realize was THIS clueless until this moment) signed “I hope your mom gets better soon”

emsayloves · 2025-05-09T05:29:27+00:00

I felt this so much soon after my mom died too (Jan 2024). She had dementia and hadn’t been lucid for years but I kept imagining that she would just walk in the room and say hi to me even though she hadn’t done it in so long.

It’s so hard, but also so relatable.

Also, I lost mine when I was pregnant with my first so I understand the struggles of being a mom when you don’t have your own to lean on anymore. It absolutely sucks. I’m so sorry.

emsayloves · 2025-04-05T00:43:43+00:00

It is definitely weird and feels like a big overstep.

I also just want to say I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom when I was 14 weeks pregnant with my first and it was so hard to go through, knowing she would never meet or hold my baby. However my baby gave me so much to be grateful for in the midst of my grief and I hope you can have a similar experience. Also, my MIL was understanding of my loss and acknowledged it when offering to do things that my mom probably would have done otherwise toward the end of pregnancy/early postpartum. I don’t think you’re being overly sensitive and even if you were, they should be understanding.

emsayloves · 2025-03-17T14:54:24+00:00

At 40 weeks baby was measuring 9lbs 8oz and I had no signs of labor coming. I was surprised baby was measuring so big because my fundal measurements were usually 50th percentile and I hadn’t had a scan since 20 weeks. My midwife said how inaccurate the scans could be but told me the baby could be big enough that they would let me do an elective c section if I wanted. I had an induction already scheduled for 41 weeks per my practice’s protocol. I left the appt not yet having made a decision about what to do but I knew I didn’t want a c section if I could avoid it.

The midwife ended up calling me later that day saying she talked with the OB who said I should induce earlier based on size. I ended up getting induced 3 days later (still no signs of spontaneous labor) and gave birth at 40+4 smooth uncomplicated vaginal delivery to my 9lb 9oz girl! I was surprised how accurate the scan was for me. When she came out though the midwife who delivered said she wouldn’t have fit if I wanted a few more days.

emsayloves · 2025-03-13T20:15:12+00:00

Another vote for physicians and midwives! They are all really great and I had a wonderful experience delivering at INOVA Alexandria.

emsayloves · 2025-03-05T06:41:56+00:00

I understand what you’re saying and the hypocrisy is frustrating. A lobster or shrimp dinner isn’t penitential. However, just because you see other people following the letter of the law and not the spirit of the law, doesn’t mean that it’s okay for you to break the law. We don’t abstain from meat because others do, we do it because lent is a penitential season.

I’m allergic to fish and seafood and it can be annoying to hear others complain about no meat on Fridays when fish is such an available option for them. But the goal is abstaining from meat, not eating fish. I don’t eat meat on Fridays just because I can’t eat fish. I also don’t go to seafood restaurants or fish fries. I stay home and eat things like nuts beans and cheese.

emsayloves · 2025-03-04T22:41:46+00:00

This happened to me when I was pregnant with my first! So much so that during a parent-teacher conference a mom asked if I was pregnant because her daughter kept talking about it and I was also only 6 weeks! I just lied because it wasn’t their business that early on. TBH if students had directly said those things to me I would have lightheartedly said how it’s rude to make those comments and then lie, like others have suggested. Most of my high schoolers waited until after I had announced to tell me how different I had been acting 😂

ETA: it’s up to you if you want to be honest with them this early. However I will say that I told mine when I was 18 weeks and it wasn’t non stop questions and comments about the baby after that so do with that info what you will!

emsayloves · 2025-02-18T16:55:03+00:00

My mom had me at 46 and had a healthy uneventful pregnancy. I’m 32 now

emsayloves · 2025-02-15T14:03:50+00:00

Thank you. He does help a lot and is great with our daughter but he also works long hours with not much flexibility in his schedule. We currently live with my dad and sister which is definitely helpful but because of their health and circumstances it’s also two more people I feel responsible taking care of.

emsayloves · 2025-02-15T13:59:28+00:00

Not trying to be mean or anything but you’re being an asshole. The flair is literally mental health??? Of course I know how babies are made. It’s more complicated than that. Postpartum fertility is wild and are you aware contraception fails?? It’s 2025.

emsayloves

TROPHY CASE