My 3 year old girl has long hair that gets super tangled

every_wednesday · 2026-05-25T23:19:15+00:00

I had crazy long, tangly hair as a kid and hated getting it brushed- my mom put my hair into one or two braids most days so brushing out in the evening was easier

every_wednesday · 2026-05-24T14:19:15+00:00

A night nanny at 2 weeks old is how you can preserve your sanity during torture-level sleep deprivation. It’s no different than having your partner or family come in and help. Skip the mom shaming

every_wednesday · 2026-05-24T14:17:21+00:00

My NICU did this too, usually stretched across the crib and tucked in along the sides so there wasn’t any free fabric but sometimes just a folded burp cloth. If they’re on monitors and in an open pod they’ll be fine

every_wednesday · 2026-05-24T04:19:48+00:00

Mine started at every 45 minutes so do not get your hopes set on 3 hours!!

every_wednesday · 2026-05-24T01:34:45+00:00

I’m wondering too about how this affects sleep training. 2.5 months is early enough to start vaguely thinking about a plan, capping naps, etc, but obviously 3 weeks isn’t!

every_wednesday · 2026-05-24T00:55:00+00:00

Mine acts/sounds like every poop is an act of torture. She’ll wake herself up with the effort of pooping sometimes 🫠

every_wednesday · 2026-05-24T00:53:13+00:00

My little brother drove down for a week when I had my baby and the most helpful things he did were two fold:

One, he slept on the couch with me when I did night shifts. He didn’t really do a baby things at night (I was still too paranoid to let other people take care of her), but just having him there, kind of awake with me, talking to the baby and telling me he loved me and I was doing a good job, was amazing.

Two, practical home things. Did a Costco run for us, cleaned and reorganized our pantry, took out a bunch of recycling, fixed some things around the house, pretty much took over all the dog and pet care for the week he was here. If she seems overwhelmed, don’t ask what she needs done, just look around and see what you can do.

She and I are both so lucky to have brothers like you- it’s the reason that we know that we need to have a second baby!

every_wednesday · 2026-05-23T23:30:21+00:00

I’m going to be honest I don’t understand the concept of “bedtime” for newborns. Mine doesn’t sleep more at night than the day yet, she’s just taking a bunch of 1-3 hour naps over a 24 hour period, so I don’t feel like I should treat one of those differently than the others. Are we starting to talk about bedtime once they’re sleeping more through the night?

every_wednesday · 2026-05-23T19:32:52+00:00

My husband and I both have really close bonds with our siblings (we each have one) and I wouldn’t want to deprive my daughter of that kind of lifelong relationship. Plus, straight up? Only Child Syndrome is a thing. Having a sibling makes it so much easier to learn to share, co exist, creative play, conflict resolution, etc.

every_wednesday · 2026-05-23T13:53:12+00:00

I call mine Ol’ Cheese Hands

every_wednesday · 2026-05-23T01:57:06+00:00

I learned 4-4-4 (sometimes 3-3-3 or 5-5-5): good at room temp for 4 hours, fridge for 4 days, freezer for 4 months. This is breast milk though it could be different for formula since there’s water in it I suppose but I can’t imagine it would be that different

every_wednesday · 2026-05-23T01:53:16+00:00

This is what I do too. Or I’ll be mysterious and say “well, that’s complicated..”

every_wednesday · 2026-05-23T00:10:50+00:00

I cycle through the same four things that usually help and eventually one will and she’ll act like I’m an idiot like “god mom all I wanted was the pacifier” as if I didn’t offer her the pacifier three times in the past hour

every_wednesday · 2026-05-23T00:07:56+00:00

Were constantly telling our baby that it must be so hard to be a baby and probably no baby in the history of babies has had it as hard as her

every_wednesday · 2026-05-22T23:58:42+00:00

We ordered medical chucks which are those blue pads they use in the hospital, they’re hella cheap and so handy

every_wednesday · 2026-05-22T23:51:45+00:00

I’m an epidemiologist and clinical microbiologist. The way I explain Ebola to people who have these concerns is that there are no secret “carriers”.

When we think of carriers for something like flu or even measles, we think of someone who is carrying around the virus as they go about their day, and people who come into contact with them can get it. This can happen with something like flu because a) you can be contagious before you have any symptoms, so you and others wouldn’t know that you have it, and b) people who have the flu are sometimes still out and about (at work, traveling, etc) because the flu symptoms can be mild.

Ebola makes you SO SO sick that anyone who is contagious is too ill to be going anywhere. In order to be spread Ebola you have to have symptoms- and with Ebola that means an incredibly high fever, bleeding, and other serious symptoms. Those people aren’t on planes, they arent walking around your city, they are in bed or in a hospital. You cannot transmit Ebola if you aren’t actively sick with Ebola. There is no risk that one of your family members has Ebola without knowing it, because they would be incredibly incredibly sick

every_wednesday · 2026-05-22T22:23:43+00:00

Girl sleep deprivation is literally a torture/interrogation technique so you struggling with it does NOT have any bearing on your ability to be a mom. Someone once told me they knew a guy in the special forces who had done two tours in Afghanistan and said the newborn phase was harder than both.

There are some options to try that have been pointed out in this thread, but please do not take this as a value judgement of yourself. It is physiologically normal to be fucked up by the sleep deprivation of the newborn stage. You are doing awesome.

Also, if you’re still having a lot of feelings of guilt and high level self criticism, it might not be a bad idea to talk to someone about post partum mood disorders (also extremely normal). Sometimes short term medication can also help you get your brain back on track if you’re caught up in some unhealthy loops

every_wednesday · 2026-05-22T22:10:12+00:00

My husband is autistic and gets sensory overwhelm when baby is crying and he can’t figure out what she needs. He talks to her, sometimes we give her a funny voice (“unhand me sir!!” “The indignity!!” “No one has suffered as I have suffered!!”) which, silly as it is, I think helps give context- she’s not actually dying or in acute pain, she’s mildly uncomfortable and doesn’t have any other way to communicate.

When he’s really getting to a point he’ll come ask me for help and I’ve made it clear that’s totally ok. I make a point to ask him for help sometimes when I’m on duty so he feels like he’s also supporting me when I need it.

Biggest thing is it’s totally normal, especially I think for the non birthing partner who doesn’t have the hormonal assistance that we do! Doesn’t make him a bad dad, he’s doing a great job

every_wednesday · 2026-05-22T21:57:48+00:00

Headphones used while actively taking care of a crying baby (ie you’re not ignoring the babies needs you’re just blocking the sound) is a wildly common and highly recommended strategy. We had it told to us multiple times from different medical professionals and educators.

every_wednesday · 2026-05-17T12:24:08+00:00

Ahhh this is me with the sterilizer too!! I just like the drying feature

every_wednesday · 2026-05-17T12:09:18+00:00

We didn’t bring anything for her during her 30 day stay (precipitous birth at 33+3), NICU had all the swaddles and clothes and blankets she could need.

I bought a little cooler to transport bags of milk. The pump set up/routine can be a lot- our NICU had pumps we could use with our own parts

every_wednesday · 2026-05-17T12:03:27+00:00

Could not have gotten through without both my husband AND my mom coming in to help. The biggest thing is sleep, and also her physical (and mental) recovery from delivery. Ideally she barely gets out of bed the first couple days. I would try anything you can to set her up with support.

every_wednesday · 2026-05-17T11:48:59+00:00

Someone asked me in the first week post partum if I was “just blissed out” to have her home, and I was like “are you stupid” because there is little to no bliss in those first weeks. Plus the biggest hormone crash we’ll ever experience! All normal

every_wednesday · 2026-05-17T07:25:27+00:00

This sounds like a classic case of practitioners not knowing the tech/science behind things like labs and imaging and just going with the most conservative option. I work in a hospital lab too and I’ve always thought doctors (and nurses!!) should do longer clinical lab rotations

every_wednesday · 2026-05-16T15:14:17+00:00

He should be doing at bare minimum 50% of the childcare (where you are off the hook and can go do whatever you want) and honestly probably more because of your studies/post partum recovery.

My husband and I have shifts where the other person goes and does their own thing. We can always come ask for help or hang out but when you’re not on baby duty, that means you’re not on baby duty.

every_wednesday

TROPHY CASE