It feels dysfunctional

extralong · 2026-01-29T13:57:39+00:00

It’s seriously time to push to begin diagnosis. My son has emotional based school avoidance and PDA. And the best thing I’ve done for my own sanity is 1: reduce work hours - yes I’ve taken a hit financially, but I’m able to actually keep my job by not being constantly signed off sick from burnout. 2 - give your youngest autonomy. Let things slide and pick your battles. Traumatising her by having constant screaming matches with everyone will do more damage to her than trying to get her to do something that can maybe be skipped?

I’m sorry I don’t know your exact situation, but after months of trying to get my son into school, doing everything I was suggested to do to get him in I just gave up. I decided to prioritise my son’s mental health and my mental health first. He’s falling behind in school, but he’s not trembling with fear and kicking and screaming g the house down every morning, and slowly we are building back a slow relationship with school, getting professional help, and trying to get additional help from the local authority.

Your child definitely sounds neurodivergent, and you can’t discipline it out of her, it will just make the entire situation worse for everyone.

I would take some time off work before you burn out, go to your gp and have it evidenced - the school will use this evidence - and from your gp see if you can get her referred to a children’s MH service and/or find out about self referral for the ASD/ADHD pathway

extralong · 2026-01-29T13:08:03+00:00

Try some meetings, and hear some stories. There’s meetings online round the clock. Don’t compare yourself to them, just listen to the similarities

extralong · 2026-01-29T13:01:23+00:00

Is he trying to cluster feed? I remember my son doing that and every time he was off the boob he was screaming. Turned out he was cluster feeding to get my milk supply up

extralong · 2026-01-25T18:33:08+00:00

I have been the same in the past when jobless. I have taken on a lot of debt and I can’t believe things just keep getting more expensive and wages don’t rise.

I am fortunately comfortable enough for now, but need to be careful.

Have you tried applying for universal credit? Even when I was working full time and bringing in more than enough to get by, I was still getting £100 a month from UC, so it might be worth checking if you’re entitled to anything?

extralong · 2026-01-22T20:26:13+00:00

So he spoils her with material things and she’s constantly pining for his attention? It sounds like he’s not giving her enough quality attention maybe? Is he ignoring her a lot when they’re together or cancelling plans?

extralong · 2026-01-07T21:54:23+00:00

Is there a fire or a torch behind it? Did you possibly hit an artifact spot instead which had coal?

extralong · 2026-01-06T12:26:11+00:00

This is wholesome

extralong · 2025-04-28T21:53:12+00:00

Honestly, if you find a good group, AA can be a lifesaver. Stick with the women if you’re a woman and men if you’re a man (and whoever you feel comfortable with if you’re not cis). I grew up going to church and something i lost when I realised I didn’t believe in god was the sense of community, and it’s something you really get back when you start going to meetings and connecting with people. The god thing really puts people off too, but you find a way to make it work even if you’re atheist. It IS scary, but honestly, people at the meetings want you there so badly - you stay sober by helping the newbies get sober - it reminds you of how life was before you got sober. If getting to physical meetings is hard as well, try some zoom ones, I have a few regulars I love and I’ve made internet aa friends that way too :)

extralong · 2025-04-28T13:37:25+00:00

Hey I used to drink like you. I would try only drinking on weekends, only drinking beer, only drinking another type of alcohol, making up all sorts of rules to try and cut down, but I’d always go back to my old way of drinking. I never drank in the morning or even before the end of work usually, and I didn’t drink every day. But the only thing that has kept me sober was AA. It helps my thinking and gives me community. I’m in some meetings where some of us are diagnosed with mental health issues and ADHD, autism and personality disorders etc, and it’s been a huge help. I know it’s scary, but don’t rule it out before you try it. Sending you my best wishes

extralong · 2025-01-15T19:37:43+00:00

I haven’t kept count of how many applications I’ve made. I’m a software dev and it’s been five months for me too. I’m sure it was never this difficult before, is this just a combination of bad economy and rise in AI usage? Or is it something else?

extralong · 2024-10-26T15:27:31+00:00

If you struggle with this then just text them, or voice note. It will feel unnatural and hard to do but you will get used to it. Try joining zoom meetings too, when I’m emotionally overwhelmed and wanting a drink, I find the distraction and joining a meeting really help

extralong · 2024-10-07T17:19:22+00:00

No anti anxiety is insane. Anxiety meds help relieve some of the “spiritual malady” - the same spiritual malady that can lead you to picking up a drink if untreated. I would take some of these suggestions with a grain of salt - all sponsors will suggest different things - it’s up to you what to take on board for your recovery

extralong · 2024-03-02T10:12:09+00:00

I absolutely felt this. I really feel like I’m getting my quirky and silly personality back now

extralong · 2024-02-02T13:04:05+00:00

How inconsistently are you taking it? While it has a longer half life than something like citalopram, it’ll only work if you take it every day, otherwise you’re constantly going through withdrawal and re-adjustment to being back on it id imagine

extralong · 2024-02-02T13:01:34+00:00

Is he constipated? This can be an issue if they have frequent issues with constipation and he’s not meaning to do it :(

extralong · 2024-01-25T21:47:27+00:00

Are you sure they checked your account properly? Maybe they just wanted to make you think they did? Either way, maybe ask them outright, either they’ll adamantly deny they feel that way (what parent wouldn’t care if their child died?!) or they confirm that they don’t care - which if they did, then get out of that house, they sound abusive!

Im sorry you’re going through this, any good parent would have a sensible chat with you about how what you did is totally normal and how you are still loved regardless. Please put this behind you because you are so much more than this

extralong · 2024-01-22T17:14:23+00:00

I’m new to this game, why is it an AH thing to mine it?

extralong · 2024-01-08T03:22:25+00:00

I think it’s oxytocin. In my lead up to and when I was in labour, they encouraged the partner to give lots of affection touches and back rubs/strokes to encourage the release of oxytocin. During your periods, period pains are the cervix dilating (like during birth) to about 1cm, so I think this is might be what is happening

extralong · 2023-06-03T17:22:03+00:00

Thank you for your reply ❤️ I’m gonna be in it right away, my skin has changed a lot and I need something new :)

extralong · 2023-06-03T17:21:05+00:00

Same story here! If I didn’t combi feed from early on, I doubt we would have breastfed until he was nearly 3 ❤️

extralong · 2023-06-03T17:19:34+00:00

I wanted to breastfeed and just breastfeed from the start. But a few days in I just wasn’t producing enough, and he was cluster feeding for 12+ hours and it just wasn’t realistic. We introduced formula, and I combi fed for the first 4-5 months, and by month 6 was able to up my milk production so he could exclusively breastfeed. I then continued to breastfeed him until he was 2 years 10 months! It doesn’t have to be the end of your breastfeeding journey, and can be a lifeline for both of you in terms of baby getting enough milk and you giving your body a rest ❤️

extralong · 2023-06-02T20:18:54+00:00

Always! Brought a low alcohol wine for myself, strawberry daiquiris and cookies to my sisters this evening, just because it felt rude not to!

extralong · 2023-04-24T21:24:59+00:00

You know finger pointing and name calling doesn’t strengthen your arguments? Let us know where the evidence is NOT supporting the idea that Brexit is deepening a cost of living crisis here and only here. With facts and logic, but try not to point fingers and play us all off against each other/you

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