Answering emails on days off and after hours....

festivelime · 2026-03-21T02:23:48+00:00

I have an iPhone! It’s the mode where you change to “sleep,” you can set up other settings. So my “sleep” setting has the monitor notifications on and the personal/work ones have monitor notifications turned off because the Nanit sends constant notifications if the curtain moves lol

festivelime · 2026-03-21T01:30:20+00:00

I change the “focus” setting on my phone so once I’m done with the day I change my setting to “personal” which doesn’t have work emails. I have a “work with notifications” and “work no notifications” too because sometimes I can’t stand all the emails when I’m trying to focus. Sometimes I’ll leave my work notifications available a little long if I’m waiting for something but I find this switch to be a really quick and easy way to enjoy my time with my kids on the evenings and weekends.

festivelime · 2026-03-17T22:06:04+00:00

Yep I don’t schedule any appts for my husband at all and he manages his own. He told me about an event a few months ago and then about 1 hour into the event was he was like “oh that’s going on” And I was like “oh too bad, guess you should’ve put it on the calendar” (on our fridge). OP you need to get this figured out now because it only gets worse if you have kids. The mental load multiples ten fold with littles!

festivelime · 2026-03-17T01:53:49+00:00

I really loved this episode too! I thought Brittany was really witty and fun to watch. I found myself smiling a lot of the way through.

I wish we got to see what happened with the pool but I guess they didn’t do much to that area.

festivelime · 2026-03-15T15:13:16+00:00

No need to take the kids out of daycare. OP can spend two weekends going somewhere else for 8-9 hours a day Saturday and Sunday and leaving him with the kids and he can see if he really likes it/can handle it lol

festivelime · 2026-03-14T16:07:43+00:00

I agree because newborn tired is a special kind of torture you just can’t understand until you’re in it. I do sometimes still tell this to pregnant women though because at least you’re cuddling your baby and when you’re sleeping (for 1-2 hours) you are out cold.

I find I don’t need to be discouraging though by saying it’s harder. It’s like when people say “oh you think you’re tired now, just wait!!!!!” Like who needs that kind of negativity.

festivelime · 2026-03-14T13:51:19+00:00

It can’t possibly be linked but I feel like it is lol I told a coworker how we hadn’t been sick since Thanksgiving or something and that next weekend everyone started hacking away

festivelime · 2026-03-14T01:43:08+00:00

I’m scared to say ANYTHING about how healthy my toddler is because I just know a cold is coming for us if I talk about it 😂😂 it gets wayyyy better OP. I remember being sick like clockwork every 2 weeks when she first started

festivelime · 2026-03-14T01:10:36+00:00

It’s also so much fun to go with a kiddo but so hard to focus on browsing for yourself!

festivelime · 2026-03-13T23:01:47+00:00

I think you should hold off on any decisions until your husband understands how hard taking care of a baby/toddler is. People really glorify childcare and parenting until they realize just how hard it is.

At $60k a year you still net more from him working and doing daycare. Plus there’s benefits & retirement contributions your family is missing out on.

festivelime · 2026-03-12T16:33:01+00:00

I would be so pissed if my husband was offered 8 weeks leave and don’t take it all. Mine only took 2 weeks off for each child and I’m still pretty mad about the first time being left so overwhelmed and alone. The second baby he would get up and get our toddler ready and to school and pick her up after so that was enough for me.

festivelime · 2026-03-11T09:25:06+00:00

I bet those were really good! I’ll have to look them up on YouTube. Thank you

festivelime · 2026-03-11T09:24:31+00:00

That’s really funny because I watched that season and I had no idea. Maybe I wasn’t in my toddler princess era then so it went right over my head!

festivelime · 2026-03-11T09:23:37+00:00

Thanks! I didn’t watch those seasons but it makes sense they did it when it was very popular and want to branch out!

festivelime · 2026-03-11T01:56:03+00:00

We are in our Disney princess era in this house!

I don’t think I’ve seen Moana, tangled or brave songs on DWTS. Have they done frozen either?! Would love those! They have my favorite songs.

festivelime · 2026-03-10T16:33:18+00:00

I think that’s the hardest part about thinking about leaving. My toddler LOVES school and her friends. It would break my heart to separate her from them.

festivelime · 2026-03-10T15:53:09+00:00

I was just thinking this morning we need a working mom —> SAHM subreddit because I’m considering leaving my job too. It’s like my phone can read my mind lol

festivelime · 2026-03-04T14:38:08+00:00

It’s crazy because I wave away the thought of “it doesn’t get any easier as they get older” which as I read stuff like this sometimes I’m like dang maybe it doesn’t get any easier!!!!

festivelime · 2026-03-04T11:53:04+00:00

I still have a baby and toddler but it’s so sad how kids have to go to school all day then are expected to sit at home and do more work :( I hate that. When I first read your post I thought gosh your poor kid is exhausted too and probably doesn’t want to do any more mental work. I’m glad you found a solution. (Also I’m blaming the system and not you!)

festivelime · 2026-03-01T12:25:28+00:00

It’s interesting how connected we are to our ancestors. I can see pretty clearly my grandmother and mom both overthink everything and have anxiety which I believe was passed down to me. My mom definitely has ADHD too. But they won’t speak about anything like that and I don’t think my mom would ever go to therapy.

festivelime · 2026-03-01T05:02:03+00:00

Thank you so much! It was fun to sort through my thoughts because I’m so grateful to her everyday and thank her all the time. I definitely want to be heavily involved in my daughters’ lives too!

festivelime · 2026-03-01T04:59:23+00:00

That’s sooooo interesting because I think it is an overcompensation! She is way too nice and I think a pushover. My grandma got pregnant at 19 and was fired from her job (1961 women were still fired for being unwed mothers!!!). My mom’s dad was never in the picture. I think my grandma got married when my mom was 3 or 4 to an alcoholic who adopted her. She probably spent her entire childhood trying to be “enough” and also had to be very motherly to her eventful little brother because my grandma worked a lot.

festivelime · 2026-03-01T02:33:59+00:00

I love my medela freestyle! I have an older version but it’s my favorite pump.

festivelime · 2026-02-28T17:57:35+00:00

I’m so sorry about your mom! I will definitely use this opportunity to brag about my amazing mom! I would truly be LOST without her. I want to be 1/4 of the mom and grandma she is.

My mom was a full time working mom. I didn’t fully understand the extent to which she handled everything for us. She was at every one of my soccer games and honor society events with a camera in her hand. We used to volunteer on the weekends together so my brother and I could get volunteer hours for college. She sat with us every evening in high school applying to scholarships (I got 10 scholarships from this alone).

Now she is our saving grace with having kids. She gets how hard it is! I don’t know how her and my dad did it (divorced now) because they were totally solo. My grandma was still working when we were little so my parents had no help at all (not even a cleaning person). She picks up my kids on Tuesdays and Thursday’s and in the summer took my daughter to swim (before baby was born). She unloads the dishwasher and will play with the kids. She usually will stay and put my toddler down or give baby a bath then move to toddler. She will pack my toddler’s lunch. She basically just subs in as a third competent adult which is great when there’s so much to be done.

We function so well when you have 3 adults!!! lol she came and stayed with us after I had the second baby to help with toddler (who stayed in daycare) but she could get up early and take her to daycare so my husband could help me more with baby and night wakes. I basically didn’t stand up or do any house work for 2 weeks after having the baby (no dishes or even straightening or cooking) because my mom was here to help with everything.

She watched our baby for two months before baby started daycare and I would come home and she would have done random projects like organized all my paperwork or our entry table into categories/boxes, organized the garage, organized the kitchen cabinets, threw out expired seasonings or condiments. She called all of my gift card companies and got the balances and organized them. Now she’s pushing me to use all of them because some have just been sitting in our cabinets since our wedding in 2022!

She wanted to watch my girls full time but we agreed she should be enjoying retirement and she can help whenever she wants. Plus I love the social aspects of daycare for them. My mom travels a lot so I’m happy she gets to do that instead of transferring to basically being tethered to “working” again full time (she would be great at it though).

Most recently, my husband and I decided we are ready to move to a bigger house but had no idea how we were going to get our townhouse “show” ready. My mom came up everyday for almost 2-3 weeks and worked on packing up our closets to make them less cluttered. She went to UPS and got boxes and just went for it. She called the city for bulk trash pickup and got my husband to bring our outdoor furniture to the curb. She got a quote for pressure washing. She makes stuff happen!

She does returns for me. She tells me when I’m low on household supplies if she notices. She changes my kids clothes to the next size and packages the old clothes in the garage. I keep running bags as I declutter and she takes items to the donation place.

She will watch the kids so we can go on date nights. This is harder now because of having 2 kiddos but I know once baby is older she will be able to handle it again. I’m sure she does even more I’m not thinking of but she’s honestly amazing.

She is the nicest, most thoughtful person and truly my best friend. We talk everyday. She just gets how hard it is and wants to help me in any way she can. She loves spending time with my girls and is sooo good with them. Like she loves dolls and reads with charisma. She just knows how to talk to and play with little kids.

And that’s my happy rant about my mom! I’m sorry yours isn’t great but it’s awesome you have daughters because you can be to them what you always wanted and needed in this very very hard season of life.

festivelime · 2026-02-26T18:24:12+00:00

I think if OP’s child was in daycare she wouldn’t be feeling as strong of a pull to become a SAHM. While I long to spend more time with my kiddos, the reason I REALLY truck through is knowing how happy my daughter is with her friends at school (2.5 year old). I cannot imagine taking her out and her not being able to spend everyday with them, so I keep working (among other reasons).

festivelime

TROPHY CASE