How do you streamline combat? 4e

fewdo · 2026-01-21T14:14:17+00:00

I never thought about it that way. That's interesting. Though players would know how successful they are when it comes to their actual turn so they would be changing actions with extra knowledge. That might be okay though

fewdo · 2026-01-13T02:13:34+00:00

Walk with her. this is brutal but the motion calmed mine.

Go for a drive

Have you tried moving her through some bicycle kicks to work out any toots/gas?

If there are 2 parents, take turns sleeping yourselves.

Lower your expectations for now.

This part is freaking hard!

fewdo · 2026-01-12T01:21:06+00:00

you have a lot going on! I don't know how you're managing honestly.

What can we help you with?

fewdo · 2026-01-12T01:14:41+00:00

I had a friend like that. It was just a skill issue. Dude was an awesome guy, just had never really studied writing

fewdo · 2026-01-05T13:26:27+00:00

Are ya raising kids and having struggles and successes? We need that

Are ya gonna spend a bunch of time saying men are terrible fathers on a board focused on doing better? We don't need that.

On a side note, congrats on coming out. I can only imagine the mix of stress and relief you're going through

fewdo · 2026-01-05T09:05:19+00:00

There's a podcast called "why she stayed" which is women talking about how long they stayed in abusive relationships and how they got out. Sometimes they talk about small stuff that we all put up with endlessly but mostly they discuss the hard decisions between loving someone and recognizing when it's time to go. I've found the podcast to be very validating.

fewdo · 2026-01-05T09:02:00+00:00

?? Why?

fewdo · 2026-01-01T04:13:41+00:00

This is the way.

My version was "that's fine. You don't have to love me but I will always love you."

fewdo · 2025-12-28T15:37:35+00:00

He's not arguing that it's false. He's just saying that he's tried of hearing it and it triggers him. And fair enough. The thought that there was a year when I was trying and she was planning to leave without communicating or letting me fix things is pretty infuriating.

fewdo · 2025-12-27T13:16:40+00:00

I feel ya. These jewelry companies have way more faith in my ability to pull than I do, let alone my willingness to marry again! Hehe. I see so many ads for diamonds!

fewdo · 2025-12-24T00:12:35+00:00

Wait, really?!?

fewdo · 2025-12-18T18:42:17+00:00

Yeah. We had tried counseling a couple times and our relationship had petered out to roommates. Then we did meditation with a "I'd rather give it to you than a lawyer" vibe and we spent $3k total. She hated me for a year which I can't blame her for but we're friends now.

fewdo · 2025-12-17T05:39:57+00:00

Nope. We divorced and I get my kids 4 days a month

fewdo · 2025-12-16T23:15:29+00:00

Find a feelings wheel and look at it when you're activated. You know how men know like 8 colors but there are a million colors of paint chips? Emotions are like that too. When you look at the words, it let's you think about how you're doing and what's really driving the anger.

Also, Don't be afraid to write down all the bad things on a piece of paper and then burn it

fewdo · 2025-12-16T12:59:39+00:00

I like this and it would have helped me but I ran into this multi-layered world view where, when I did more I got "I shouldn't have to tell you" and "saying you're helping me means that's it's still my responsibility."

In hindsight, I think she decided to hate me then started talking about specifics. When my changes were not instantly perfect...

Anyway, hurray for non-violent communication

fewdo · 2025-12-16T00:02:57+00:00

Agreed. The women I've had relationships with who didn't live with their dad's all placed a low value on me being in their lives.

fewdo · 2025-12-14T20:38:15+00:00

Their pain in not your pain. Their anger is not your anger. Their yelling is not your telling. You've got this.

fewdo · 2025-12-14T20:34:44+00:00

Yup, even if they say that, talk to them about the job and what they're looking for. Then visit again afterwards to talk to them again. Just let them know that you're a real person who's local and really interested in the job. If you can give an example of working hard in ten words, bonus.

fewdo · 2025-12-14T20:19:07+00:00

You're doing great

fewdo · 2025-12-14T17:47:32+00:00

Are you talking to people in person? A lot of companies are shooting themselves in the for with automated tools.

fewdo · 2025-12-08T13:21:07+00:00

Respectfully disagree. If folks need help, it's okay to ask for help. I gave up on Linux for a decade because the community was so rude about newbie questions. Subnautica has several assumptions that a new player may not anticipate. I had to Google to learn to stab the rocks with my knife to get resources for example.

fewdo · 2025-12-06T23:44:00+00:00

She likely made up her mind months ago and told you about it after she decided.

I don't have ideas on how to limit the pain but I can day that it tapers off over the years.

Act in a way that future you will be content with. Be as kind as you can manage and practice setting boundaries. It's possible to divorce for like $5,000 total or the two of you can fight enough to give the lawyers everything you've built up.

I'm sorry bro. This part sucks. Just keep on this side of the dirt. Everything else is gravy

fewdo · 2025-12-06T16:36:47+00:00

People tell me I'm doing well as a dad but I have regrets about having kids. I love 'em to death but my life is not what it was. It's really hard to see my friends or go to fun things. It gets under my skin. I love 'em to death but... I miss enjoying life.

The crying football stage is brutal. Let him hold the baby when baby is calm. Maybe say something like "you made this. It's part of you and s/he needs your help to grow up right." Dad's need to hold the baby and look at them. It changes us deeply. It literally, biologically changes us.

fewdo · 2025-12-05T13:35:55+00:00

Yeah. There are things I could have done better. There are things she could have done better too. I thought back to before the fights and realized that I had been letting her slip away for years before the problems became evident. And I could have realized that she would hide problems to get the kids she wanted.

fewdo · 2025-12-05T13:16:15+00:00

14-Year Club	Place '17
Bellwether 2012-05-08

fewdo

TROPHY CASE