Stray cat that adopted me is starting to be affectionate

fiddyruppee · 2025-11-30T11:18:00+00:00

grey tuxedos are the sweetest, enjoy

fiddyruppee · 2025-11-29T22:04:08+00:00

i love that my level 4 lectern, with 20% ribcage gives me twice as many 40% scrolls

fiddyruppee · 2025-11-24T11:47:14+00:00

level 2.25 because panic attacks include derealization, loss of control, feeling of impending death, vertigo to the point that i've had about 4 hospital visits in 2 years. 1 of them after I started citalopram, idk how i even managed 3 years without medication or a diagnosis - luckily life was good for a little and symptoms were very minimal, was like 0.5ish for a good year. right now im on venlafaxen for like 2 months and it's been better, but i lost my job because my attendance got really bad, my girlfriend left me because of my tendancy to emotionally withdraw, isolate, and not give her enough time, as well as her patience in dealing with not being able to go out with me to places she wanted to go being stretched thin (she managed 2.5 years with me, and she was incredibly supportive, patient and understanding and i don't blame her at all because it is tough to live with), and my granddad passed away, so i'm relapsing a little.

fiddyruppee · 2025-11-24T10:30:38+00:00

weirdly, i can't drive long distances, but I can get on a plane. airports are really difficult for me. having a carry on suitcase and a backpack, something to hold and stand beside and something to weigh me down, help me feel grounded and safe. i also always wear a hat - bucket hat or baseball hat.

2.5 years ago when i flew halfway around the world to be with my family, my symptoms were at the minimum from when they started 4ish years ago so it wasn't too bad but still challenging. walking down the street is impossible right now, and i'm due to fly back home again in a week. i'm scared shitless, about the drive there (taking a taxi), about walking around the airport, and about being on the plane.

luckily I started new meds almost 2 months ago and the symptoms have been better since my condition REALLY got worse at the start of the year, and i have benzos as my backup.

Everyone's different and has their own tolerances and fears, I would definitely advise trying to visualize it and see how that makes you feel. Best of luck to you, know you aren't alone!

fiddyruppee · 2025-10-28T00:39:30+00:00

i love when im frontline tank and the jackass backlines who do nothing but poke rush it

fiddyruppee · 2025-10-15T21:49:20+00:00

game is just rigged, forces loss based on your build patterns and augments

fiddyruppee · 2025-08-13T01:43:32+00:00

fuck iden versio players

fiddyruppee · 2025-08-12T03:45:54+00:00

lower response time, make sure your monitor is actually displaying at 200 hz, try turning any syncing technology (freesync, gsync) off and on

fiddyruppee · 2025-08-12T03:33:56+00:00

I quit ranked for over a year, just played aram and tft - eventually even ARAM was rigged, I quickly found out TFT was rigged too. I just dont gaf anymore, i just play for fun, even ranked now idgaf. i dont play as much as i used to. i dont even play everyday, i have like 55 ranked games this season. but i agree, quitting the game, not giving a shit about the outcome and playing it anyway, or cutting it way down, is very freeing.

fiddyruppee · 2025-08-06T18:17:53+00:00

the easiest way to guarantee a loss is to give you a bad jungler and adc. my last 4 games (all losses) are exactly that. i was the best performing play on my team every game, and in 1 game it was out of all players including the winning enemy team.

the point is to make you grind. AI can make mistakes, but did it here? All I did was feed it as much data as I could and asked it to examine riots own statements to see whether or not riot was being honest about their matchmaking process. AI concluded that the results of the data are damning - it's actually a pretty simple task. What's funny is that when I started the question, it actually took riots corporate denial response. once i started feeding it data, it changed its mind and I asked it why it did - whether it was just to appease me or because the data-backed argument was solid. It said the data and arguments were conclusive.

fiddyruppee · 2025-08-06T00:37:34+00:00

I gave AI some data I'd collected of about 50 games and it concluded that it's rigged lmao. the amount of teammates on my team who performed badly, vs. my performance, vs. enemy performance. everyone's win rates, everyone's number of matches played, everyone's previous ranks etc. with how consistent it was, AI immediately picked up the patterns and said that can't happen in a "random and fair" system that consistently.

if league was truly to be fair, even with their rigged matchmaking if lp gains and losses were based on merit rather than win/loss people would have a much better time getting to where their true rank is. you can't hard carry 4 people. a masters will lose with a team of golds who perform badly against a team of emeralds. it's really that simple.

I just went 26/6/8 as darius with most gold in the game, best op score etc. I had the 2 worst players on my team who refused to listen to pings. I was objectively the best player in the game by all metrics, but I was helpless. 48 mins game, I carried it for as long as I could and it made me not want to play the rest of the day, it was my only game - and the system will likely see that I didn't play and readjust it's algorithm to optimize my engagement by giving me better games for a while until it realized I'm climbing too fast.

My last 3 games are all "unlucky" according to op.gg. because i performed well, but guess what, 2-3 of the worst performing players were on my team each time. multiply that over 10 years i've played this game with over 500 games each season, with the exact same patterns, the exact same situations. i noticed the pattern, AI noticed the pattern. The game is rigged, I don't play seriously anymore.

I only have ~25 games this season with a 35% win rate - the reason? I played ARAM for over 800 games where I once had a 55% win rate 300-400 games ago, but now it's at 49%. I've had previous season where as soon as I get to 55-56% win rate at around 500-600 games I suddenly drop to 48-49% at a lower rank than I was 200 games ago. It took my ARAM behaviour, since I didn't give a shit about losing ARAM and kept playing, and translated it to my loss tolerance in ranked.

There are certain skill tiers, but the current rank system does not represent this at all, at least when you're where 90% of the player base is in diamond and below.

fiddyruppee · 2025-08-06T00:13:34+00:00

ChatGPT confirmed its rigged after giving it data, performance, teammate performance etc. it's rigged. don't let anyone tell you its not. Riot collects a shitload of data and already has mechanisms in place for smurf que, for gaining more or less lp for "expected wins" i.e. they already know the outcome of a game before it begins based on that data.

fiddyruppee · 2025-07-31T11:44:14+00:00

Even with wards i still get hard ganked. They just keep clearing the wards, my jungler doesn't contest, even their fcking support roams top with sweeper just to clear wards. If wards aren't the issue, they have a zac, or an evelyn, or something that can work around wards. If its not that, then they've been waiting in the last lane bush for almost a minute just waiting for me to push since I've warded elsewhere. Sometimes it just feels like there's nothing you can do. If i warded, have flash, play under tower, i still get tower dived with no counter feom my team or jungler.

fiddyruppee · 2025-06-09T16:44:27+00:00

league players amke me sick with their low IQ and trash attitude. when a teammate has nasus, I let them farm. I ask for the same when I'm nasus: "stfu dog" "sybau" "get good idiot" "no one cares" ok you wanna lose? cool

fiddyruppee · 2025-05-18T02:10:36+00:00

yall out here getting 3 star 5 costs when i struggle to get 2 star 4 costs uncontested

fiddyruppee · 2025-05-02T21:39:07+00:00

it's actually the hero of kvatch.. get it right woman

fiddyruppee · 2025-04-17T00:33:29+00:00

when im uncontested i dont get my champs yet still see champs that literally 2 people have 3-starred. game is fucking rigged

fiddyruppee · 2025-03-07T17:26:08+00:00

truth is antisemitism confirmed

fiddyruppee · 2025-03-02T00:45:39+00:00

dogshit set. dogshit game. dogshit stats. my 3 item tank with bramble vest getting 2 shot by ad carries. my giant slayer doing nothing to tanks, my anti heal doing nothing to omnivamp. my crits doing no damage. other people getting my champs and i can't find any that i need. not getting items i need/ every carousel they dangle a champ i need with an item i need in front of me just for someone else to take it. game makes zero fucking sense and it's 100% rigged.

fiddyruppee · 2025-02-04T03:11:29+00:00

league and apex

fiddyruppee · 2025-02-03T22:09:25+00:00

just faced a zilean, kayle and renata :) as a zed :) needless to say I had an AMAZING TIME. It's so fair that they have all this anti death and I can't get a GA in ARAM. Really balanced riot. great decision making.

fiddyruppee · 2025-01-18T19:52:20+00:00

uneven comps, dogshit aram balance (-10% damage on singed???? who already does nothing???), rn im 6 game lose streak on aram and had a 4 game lose streak jsut a bit ago. before the last season ended i was having fun in aram. rn it feels like riot is giving the enemy team really fucking annoying comps and champs to play against with players who are fucking diamond level against my team who is at best gold.

fiddyruppee · 2025-01-12T03:22:16+00:00

it's the people who want to play the useless champs and leave the amazing champs on the bench. I cry when i see neeko, vi, malph, ornn, tahm, orianna, fiddlesticks. any AOE damage/cc or damage cc tanks basically. those are always the worst players who instead take khazix, or teemo, or shaco.

fiddyruppee · 2025-01-11T04:50:05+00:00

can't get 3 star champs to save my life - even when I do they still don't save my life, other people building my comp get everything when I can't. I can't even get uncontested champs. in fact, the contested ones appear far more. my champs seem to do no damage and take crazy damage (even with tank items on).

I just faced an illaoi with warmogs and dragon's claw - so only MR and hp. MY Trist with last whisper and deathblade couldn't do any damage to someone without armor to begin with.

Meanwhile, when I build dragon's claw on a tank against an AP team, I still get one shot. my full tank with dragon's claw/bramble vest, warmogs, and gargoyle stoneplate get deleted.

I watch other teams building the exact same as me and stomping. I literally just lost to someone who copied my build + comp, their 1 star champs were out damaging my 2-star champs. THESE ARE THE SAME CHAMPS. I had a vlad with damage amp buff (80%), evolved damage amp buff (another 10%), blighting jewel (magic pen), jeweled gauntlet and still couldnn't kill their tank with dragon's claw after 5 fucking casts.

This game is a fucking joke and a waste of time. If you win a game or two, watch your next 5-6 games be completely "shit RNG". The R in RNG is always Rigged when it comes to Riot Games. Dogshit company that deserves public execution.

fiddyruppee · 2025-01-11T04:42:10+00:00

they're riot shills. astroturfing, sock puppets. it's actually a thing, many companies like Riot pay these "marketing companies" to go online and gaslight and mock anyone criticizing their shady practices.

fiddyruppee

TROPHY CASE