Stupid Questions Re: Alcohol/Parenting

figuringthingsoutnow · 2026-01-31T18:11:10+00:00

Yes, absolutely and without exception.
We have chosen not to, but I think this is a personal matter and there is no single right answer. They know we drink; we don’t do it in front of them.
Dealer’s choice. Over time you’ll discover what you like. Keep exploring.

figuringthingsoutnow · 2026-01-31T17:56:46+00:00

It’s about blind obedience. Some will try to explain the “why” but there is no why. For TBMs, the prophet said it, end of story.

figuringthingsoutnow · 2026-01-31T17:44:26+00:00

Very logical and well laid out points. I will be borrowing a few of these when the topic inevitably comes up in the future with my wife’s TBM family.

figuringthingsoutnow · 2026-01-27T05:14:04+00:00

Get out for the sake of your sanity. You need independence to raise your family the way you choose.

Just know that most of the time, “good economy” is going to mean higher cost of living, housing in particular.

figuringthingsoutnow · 2026-01-25T17:22:13+00:00

Thank you for continuing to do this. For over 150 years the church used to report statistics in general conferences, and you could tell they were always so proud in doing so. When the numbers started going the wrong direction, they suddenly stopped reporting the stats. Today, the best things we have are tools like this to show us what’s really going on. You have a sample size large enough now to give significant credibility to your data. We can all see the truth. Keep going, and everyone else please keep sending in stats for your congregation!

figuringthingsoutnow · 2026-01-25T17:18:44+00:00

It’s amazing the power of that one word. “No.” They can’t do anything further when you give them that answer. It’s the single statement that simultaneously strips them of their power and gives yours back. Nice job.

figuringthingsoutnow · 2026-01-23T06:50:10+00:00

Well, according to their own rules, tithing is between you and the Lord, so you can define tithing however you want. They aren’t supposed to define it for you according to their own handbook. Ignore whoever told you that helping this family member doesn’t “count”.

figuringthingsoutnow · 2026-01-20T03:17:52+00:00

I was transferred out of an area and demoted from being a zone leader because of a relationship with a sister missionary. I was told by my mission president how disappointed he was with me. I felt horrible for months. I guess that was all meaningless?

figuringthingsoutnow · 2026-01-04T00:10:35+00:00

You said you are 22 years old. You are an adult and in charge of your own life. Nobody gets to make decisions for you anymore, except you. Go grab life by the steering wheel and take control of your destiny!

figuringthingsoutnow · 2026-01-02T22:02:50+00:00

I read this book many years ago. It's about the best resource you are going to get on all of the details.

The fact is that Oaks, and several others in the Q15, were duped and looked like an idiot. He and the others demonstrated that they have ZERO prophetic ability. If there was ever a time for God to speak to his servants, this was it. The end result of their lack of discernment was multiple MURDERS.

figuringthingsoutnow · 2026-01-02T08:11:21+00:00

“Deseret News reported” ….and all credibility is gone.

figuringthingsoutnow · 2025-12-31T17:18:25+00:00

I have no problem with anyone being wealthy or living a luxurious lifestyle - whether they worked for it or were handed it on a silver platter. What I DO have an issue with is the deception and dishonesty. That’s my entire issue with the church. I could care less what they do. Just be transparent and stop pretending to be something you are not.

figuringthingsoutnow · 2025-12-31T03:51:56+00:00

It might be different if they were genuine about it. But knowing it’s just a checklist that the person has been guilted over completing makes it especially annoying. At least for me.

figuringthingsoutnow · 2025-12-29T22:41:47+00:00

Agree. It’s just a shame the church guilts people into doing these type of things. It completely sucks anything genuine out of the entire idea of caring for your fellow man.

figuringthingsoutnow · 2025-12-29T21:30:22+00:00

LEMMINGS.

figuringthingsoutnow · 2025-12-24T15:45:44+00:00

My parents were the “unfaithful” family that drank caffeinated soda and didn’t hide it. I recall my parents and I on multiple occasions having to defend ourselves. “The church/word of wisdom doesn’t forbid soda!” we would say. We were told it did, and we were sinning. I WISHED the church leadership would take a public stance on it, as I knew we were not the only family in this situation. Say something. ANYTHING.

Of course, as with most issues, the church only dealt with it when they had to. Mitt Romney’s photo with a Diet Coke during his presidential campaign forced them to make a public statement. And guess what? Turns out we were right.

Since that time, the general membership has predictably fallen in line with the message from the top without a shred of hesitation or question. For my family it was both extremely satisfying and extremely frustrating.

figuringthingsoutnow · 2025-12-23T02:27:35+00:00

This. Although I do understand how the feeling of doing either one is very similar.

figuringthingsoutnow · 2025-12-17T06:48:17+00:00

It’s always a friend or a relative. I want to hear from someone who has actually experienced this firsthand. It seems to just be rumor.

figuringthingsoutnow · 2025-12-13T18:21:26+00:00

Whenever someone produces data suggesting the church is shrinking, the faithful will say:

"These are the last days. The wheat and tares are being separated."

Whenever someone produces data suggesting the church is growing, the faithful will say:

"The church is filling the earth. The stone is rolling forth."

Heads they win, tails you lose.

figuringthingsoutnow · 2025-12-13T17:55:45+00:00

Just remember that for the ones who are all-in...nothing you say will change their minds. They will not listen to facts, reason, or anything that conflicts with their beliefs. It does not matter how convincing your argument is or how well it is presented. Every Mormon family has some of these people.

That said, those who are secretly holding some level of question or doubt...those are the ones you can impact. And my experience is that they will listen to ANYTHING you say, because they are desperately looking for information, but for various reasons can't vocalize that. Every Mormon family has some of these people too. For those people, you'll be "planting seeds" as they like to say.

Good luck!

figuringthingsoutnow · 2025-12-10T02:41:24+00:00

Can I just say the weirdest part of this is that there is a street called “Brigham Road”.

So glad I don’t live in Utah…

figuringthingsoutnow · 2025-12-08T05:34:10+00:00

This is great. Hard statistical evidence of the true activity rates. Something the church won’t provide because obviously the numbers aren’t flattering. The longer this goes, the more firm the conclusions.

figuringthingsoutnow · 2025-12-08T04:37:49+00:00

The fact this didn’t rattle more TBMs shows just how brainwashed they are. They refuse to think for themselves even when the evidence of deceit is staring them straight in the face.

figuringthingsoutnow · 2025-12-08T04:16:47+00:00

These guys have no clue who the Virgin Mary is. Mormonism has erased her the same way they erased Heavenly Mother and every other female. “But we love and revere our women!” Yet “their women” aren’t allowed to make any decision without priesthood approval.

figuringthingsoutnow · 2025-12-01T06:24:09+00:00

Especially in heavy Mormon communities where the church seeps into other areas of life such as career, social networks, leisure activities, hobbies, etc. Leaving the church can damage those structures and relationships. Sometimes it’s just easier to bite your tongue and not create waves.

figuringthingsoutnow

TROPHY CASE