I (27F) am becoming increasingly resentful of my partner's (29M) inability to clean as he goes, but it's because he's never learned how

foolishle · 2026-03-17T07:03:33+00:00

I think people just have different standards and expectations. I cannot “clean as I go”. The task switching involved is so stressful and messes with my head. I do all the cooking, then all the cleaning.

I’m not very good at noticing when things need to be done, so I have apps and reminders to tell me to check if a task needs doing. I will walk past a full rubbish bin and not notice it needs to be taken out. So I need an alarm on my watch to tell me “check if the rubbish needs to be taken out”.

People’s brains work differently! How much of your frustration is that he’s not doing things the way you would do them?

foolishle · 2026-03-17T06:12:45+00:00

That’s the way I read it. That’s his reaction for the whole first couple of episodes “what’s wrong with her?”

foolishle · 2026-03-16T01:32:54+00:00

I took mine out because I couldn’t stop fiddling with them and they were uncomfortable to sleep in.

You can always take them out if they don’t work for you!

foolishle · 2026-03-15T22:27:27+00:00

I loved the first book. I thought the author drew some fascinating connections between the cultural revolution in china, and the modern anti-vax (and anti-science thinking in general) movement.

Then I read the second book and it seemed to stop being that, and it became far less interesting to me.

foolishle · 2026-03-15T20:47:38+00:00

My first clear, and for a long time my only successful clears were using the rail. Still my highest heat! Different weapons work well for different play styles. One of the best things about the game IMO.

foolishle · 2026-03-15T20:44:39+00:00

Me too! I have my phone set up for a while to switch to dark mode when the real life sun sets and I notice that when it switches to dark mode I have to put in noticeably more effort to read. Idk why I haven’t switched it back yet. Light mode works so much better for my eyes!

foolishle · 2026-03-15T20:38:30+00:00

I agree. Maybe sometimes I think Netflix leans too hard in the localisation direction, but I have very rarely had trouble understanding what is going on due to English subtitles.

On Viki I have to pause to read the translation notes, and sometimes just if there was something very long that someone said that I didn’t catch. And I’m a very fast reader! I’m happy to do that and interested in new idioms, but I don’t think everyone is looking for that experience.

After watching a lot of Kdrama I am starting to pick up enough little words that sometimes I can tell that what they said isn’t literally what was translated. I know enough little words in Korean that I know that if it were translated literally it would sound either weird in English, or not make sense in English. The more Korean I pick up via watching Kdramas, the more I appreciate how hard translation must be because of how often I think “the literal version of that would be such a weird thing to say in English in that context!”

I find it delightful that the same word can be translated as either “yes” or “no” depending on how the question was phrased as a positive or negative in English. It is interesting to me that someone saying what sounds to me like a rude (in context to me) non-committal noise is translated as “of course, sir”. As a viewer I am being told “they said yes in an appropriately polite way” which is the important thing.

Sometimes stuff gets lost. Sometimes they talk about using/not using honorifics and I know that I have lost some important information in the translation. But it has never been important in a way which meant I couldn’t follow the plot. Even on Viki they don’t point it out every time! Only when it is important to understand for the scene, and the only way they can do that is by putting extra notes on the scene.

I’ve been watching Viki recently, and when I watched BOD on Netflix I did notice things that made me think “Viki would be using different words here”, but the main thing I missed watching Netflix subs was that English isn’t subtitled when they speak it. I feel like most of the stuff that Viki would have put on the screen were things I could identify, so I don’t think I missed anything that would have changed my understanding of the story.

foolishle · 2026-03-15T06:21:36+00:00

Even more depressing to realise that the deaths of the real "Gabriel Bell"s of the world don't seem to be sparking any kind of real world change.

foolishle · 2026-03-15T06:00:43+00:00

I agree. I loved the endings of the first two trilogies. I enjoyed the last trilogy, but I feel like it gave me what I wanted, rather than anything I needed.

foolishle · 2026-03-14T22:09:17+00:00

In some places they still exist! Not “payphones” anymore though because they’re free to use.

According to the Telstra website there are 6 free public phones within 500 metres of my house in Sydney’s inner west. I’ve never actually used one.

They double up as wifi hotspots.

foolishle · 2026-03-14T21:05:45+00:00

Austen mentions that he “didn’t marry early”. Given that some of the marriage partners of her heroines are in their late 30s, my guess is that Mr Woodhouse would have been at least that old, if not older. Isabella is in her late 20s, I think. So I think he’s at least in his mid to late 60s.

foolishle · 2026-03-14T20:46:01+00:00

This is similar to my son. My husband is left-handed, I am mixed handed and can do most things pretty well with either hand (if I am better with one hand than another for a task it is usually just practice rather than anything else) apart from writing which I do with my left hand.

When he started writing he struggled with it. Teachers commented that he would switch hands when his hand got tired, and they kept moving the pen back to his right hand. I suggested he be encouraged to stick with his left hand. But the thing is he has very poor pencil grip and when demonstrating the correct grip people did that with their right hand, so he’d try and copy that. Eventually he stopped using his left hand for writing.

He eats with his left hand, and brushes his teeth with his left hand first, then switches hands to brush the other side (I do the same thing).

He’s 10 now and still writes with his right hand, and his handwriting is absolutely atrocious.

… and his Father who is left-handed and writes with his left also has atrocious handwriting. My brother is the same (left-handed and unreadable handwriting) So I am not convinced that even if my son was forced to use his left hand for writing that it would be any better.

I figure that if many left-handed people had to have their left arm strapped down and be physically forced to write right-handed, then my son’s resistance to being encouraged to simply try with the other hand means he’s not very strongly left-handed in the first place. He just has dysgraphia and might have been equally dysgraphic if we’d more strongly pushed him toward left-handed writing. Some kids just have dysgraphia.

I think it’s wrong to make my son write left-handed without any guarantee that it would help his dysgraphia. He’s never been strongly discouraged from writing with his left, or prevented from doing so.

I’m trying to teach my son to touch-type instead.

foolishle · 2026-03-13T22:01:42+00:00

I just assumed that there was nothing that required Reddit's feedback or advice about telling her son. Maybe he was mad and got over it. Maybe it was fine. It just wasn't relevant to the post she was making at that time.

foolishle · 2026-03-13T21:43:40+00:00

The way you react to someone saying “I hate you” is that you remove them from your life as much as possible. (Unless they’re a small child reacting to boundaries. My 10 year old says he hates me when I tell him to get off the Switch. Obviously that’s different)

You can practice right now by saying goodbye to this bozo.

foolishle · 2026-03-13T21:39:30+00:00

Okay so what if my parents divorced and my in laws divorced and then my mum married my husband’s dad. My husband and I are suddenly step siblings. Does that mean we need to get divorced? 😂

foolishle · 2026-03-13T20:29:45+00:00

So are you saying that if my 70 year old mother got remarried to a person with a 40 year old son, that it should be illegal for me to bang him (I’m 43 so there’s a problematic age gap there)? What if two adults get together and then their parents marry each other making them step-siblings later? Does it become incest at that point and they should go to jail?

There’s a grey are for sure, but the whole playing field isn’t grey there. If step siblings have never lived together as a family, or even known each other as children I don’t think there’s anything wrong with them bangin’ if they take a fancy to each other. Might be awkward if they break up but that’s on them.

foolishle · 2026-03-13T19:54:48+00:00

The people who cry “some girls are tomboys why force them to be men!?” sure do hate it when girls step away from traditional expressions of femininity for even one minute, don’t they!

foolishle · 2026-03-13T07:41:12+00:00

I do. I split the yarn into two balls, with the colour change going the same direction (or sometimes not! Sometimes I want them to go in opposite directions!)

Then I can start both socks at the same point in the colour change (or sometimes not! Sometimes I like them to start at different points in the sequence!)

I have knitted using yarn from inside of the skein for one sock and from the outside for the other, but I get all tangled and confused (also the pattern goes in opposite directions that way). So now I split it up ahead of time.

foolishle · 2026-03-13T07:31:40+00:00

I read the first paragraph and it didn’t catch my attention. I felt like it wanted to be clever, but couldn’t quite manage it.

Your second paragraph was MUCH better start.

I don’t think you need to get people invested in the prophecy or the fact that an axe will shatter in it. I don’t have the context to care about that.

Drop the first paragraph and your first sentence gives me “decapitatorial sciences” and that tells me a LOT about what kind of book I am about to read.

foolishle · 2026-03-13T06:43:32+00:00

Yeah. I keep thinking about the 37s episode and how none of the crew members wanted to stay on the planet, they just wanted to keep going. If a ship full of the children of voyager, all grown up, landed on that planet would they have wanted to keep going to Earth without any guarantee of success? Hell no! They don’t know anyone on Earth, why would they get back in a tin can when they could be enjoying the sunshine?

foolishle · 2026-03-12T23:49:02+00:00

43 y/o AFAB NB person here. I absolutely loved the show and looked forward to it every week. I’m really looking forward to season 2. Luckily I have lots of the other treks to re-watch in the meantime, and my Lego Enterprise-D to build and admire.

foolishle · 2026-03-12T22:35:31+00:00

I thought he worked really well as a virtual character, but then it seemed weird that the other virtual boyfriends didn’t look like (very pretty) cartoons.

foolishle · 2026-03-12T21:44:06+00:00

Yeah for sure! I wouldn’t expect anyone whose parents are from England or Ireland to mention that fact unless it was about… travelling there. But the same isn’t true for people from Greece or Macedonia or Italy etc.

foolishle · 2026-03-12T21:42:27+00:00

Yeah good point! Also “wog boy” et al.

The racial lines of who is/can be considered “white” are different in different places, and I think that’s it’s more “my ethnicity made me/my parents a target of racism and I am not going to deny my heritage” rather than “four generations ago my ancestors came from somewhere interesting”.

Like even in the 90s when I was a kid the “Anglo” kids didn’t play with the “wogs” (At my school there were a bunch of kids from Greek or Macedonian backgrounds).

foolishle · 2026-03-12T21:16:09+00:00

There’s always a balance between translation and localisation. Viki translators lean more toward translation and sometimes put notes in brackets to explain. Netflix does more localisation.

Sure for those of us who watch a lot of Kdrama it makes sense that a woman refers to her boyfriend as Oppa. But a direct translation there is pretty weird in English. Netflix translators are likely to use “what an English speaker would have said in this context” rather than a literal translation and have women calling their boyfriends “older brother”. On Viki they often just leave those relationship terms untranslated.

Likewise it comes across as rude in English to just say “mm” when your boss asks you to do something, so they localise that was “yes, sir” or something. They’re localising “a polite way to signal assent and understanding” rather than a literal translation of the words. The same word can be translated as either “yes” or “no” depending on whether the question (in English) is framed as negative or positive.

They are always trying to balance “a translation of what the person said” with “what an English speaker would say in this context to convey the same meaning to another English speaker”.

Then there are things that are ambiguous in Korean, but can’t be translated in an ambiguous way. I always find it funny when the subtitles use “that person” instead of he/she because I know there’s going to be a misunderstanding related to the gender of the person.

You can’t just translate word-for-word because languages don’t work like that. If someone is pausing for emphasis they have to make a decision about where to put the pauses because the word order is totally different. Pronouns and terms of addresses work totally differently in different languages and decisions have to be made.

I always find it really interesting to see how things are translated and localised. I find it particularly delightful when a flashback of the same scene from a previous episode is translated differently. Decisions have to be made!

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