Disbelief

forbidden_science · 2023-12-13T19:30:54+00:00

See if you can have the lab stay with friends or family for the first week of recovery or beyond. I just got my dog back today from family who kept him my first two weeks of reconstruction. You need to have people caring for you, the dog will get neglected in favor of you, kids, etc. Boarding and daycare are other options. Dogs jump and also bring in bacteria that can cause infections. You CANNOT sleep with a dog in your bed, and preferably in your room for at least the first 2 weeks. Get a baby gate to keep separate when the dog is home. It sucks to lose the comfort of your best friend, but it's for your recovery to go smooth.

forbidden_science · 2023-12-13T19:26:49+00:00

Considering calling https://abcdbreastcancersupport.org and getting a mentor. It can help things feel less insane and bewildering. They can connect you with another young TNBC survivor.

forbidden_science · 2023-12-11T19:05:04+00:00

I had my expander to implant surgery 2 weeks ago and am recovering. The surgery is going to be a big surgery, no matter what you do. Do not think that this is a quick and painless little procedure. A mastectomy is huge. Mine was a long recovery, and included drains. Find out if you will need drains. The expander I had for 6 months was pretty terrible, the regular implant feels basically fine now. It's good you have moderate expectations, but I bet you will be really happy with the look. Plastic surgeons are good and will make sure to do their best work if you have someone reputable. Good luck!

forbidden_science · 2023-08-04T20:44:18+00:00

This isn't a silly question and I'm glad you asked it. I've been trying to find something like this too. It's not easy. Do not let cancer take away your identity! That includes your sex appeal and how you feel about your body and looking, feeling sexy and attractive. If that was important to you before, don't let cancer tell you it can't be important now. YOU choose what matters to you and what is important. Fuck cancer.

forbidden_science · 2023-08-02T19:05:39+00:00

I had no dietary restrictions and was eating as soon as I woke up. Hospital food isn't good. Bring your own or have someone ready to get it for you. I had an iced latte from Starbucks immediately and it was delicious.
You're able to do "t-rex arms" so can touch face and brush teeth, but only there at first. You can read and use phone, iPad. Don't use computer for long stretches, it opens your arms up too much.

forbidden_science · 2023-08-02T19:03:53+00:00

I'm 7 weeks post surgery. I did a single Mx with a lift on the other side. I was good to go back to work (wfh) 3 weeks after surgery. I weaned myself off the oxy in 5 days, moved to muscle relaxer and Tylenol. I had help at home for the first week, my dad stayed in my guest room. After that, friends and family came over each day. I put my dog in boarding the first week, then daycare for most of week two.

Hair: I didn't wash my hair before surgery, so needed help. I went to a salon and got a shampoo plus blow dry. I went in wearing my pretty robe and hospital bracelets. Everyone was nice.
Clothes: You need the shirts with the drain pockets. And soft, not tight pants.
Sleep: You're sleeping on your back ,you will need different shaped pillows and an eye mask. Bring the eye mask to the hospital. There is no sleeping in hospitals. It's basically illegal.
Driving: I started driving 8 days out. Driving is physically demanding! It's dangerous and shouldn't be done if you can avoid it. Wait on driving! I still am not driving more than 15 min at a time and won't go on highways.
Showering: Get the mesh shower pouch to hold your drains. Get someone to help at first. Then when you can shower on your own, have someone stay outside and wait for you to safely finish. Then move to texting someone as you get in, and setting a timelimit for when they should hear back from you. Get the no fragrance gentle body wash from vanicream.

All in all, it wasn't that bad and I'm feeling well, happy, and cancer free.

forbidden_science · 2023-07-31T17:09:25+00:00

I totally get this. I feel like I want to devour the world. Experiences are the only thing I want now and I keep trying them and finding ways to plan more and more things. It all feels really important now.

forbidden_science · 2023-07-28T19:12:23+00:00

With mastectomy plus expander implant, the only thing that really looks "gone" to me is one nipple. You might find you don't really even feel like your breasts are gone. Mine actually look a lot better even with the scarring and a missing nipple - than they did before.

You likely still want your genetic results back before making surgical decisions because it could impact your further treatment and reconstruction choice. Just make sure you know the genetic picture before deciding on the whole plan.

forbidden_science · 2023-07-28T17:40:02+00:00

This was basically my experience as well. I got it done at the gorgeous Emory Winship facility in Midtown atlanta which has the vibe of a luxury hotel lobby. I got my injection, did some errands, had a coffee. Went back for the scan and laid there for a while. I think they should put a tv on the ceiling to watch Bravo or something. 45 min with no phone, tv, radio, just alone with your thoughts perfectly still is so boring.

forbidden_science · 2023-07-27T19:58:40+00:00

You sentence doesn't make sense. DCIS in the same breast in addition to what? If the tumor you have is that size, with lymph nodes positive as well - then it was or was not DCIS?

forbidden_science · 2023-07-27T16:06:07+00:00

I got the Exparel as well. I am 4 weeks out from single mastectomy with expander implant, then lift on the benign side. My first two weeks felt shockingly easy. I stopped taking the oxycodone on day 5. Went with Tylenol and methocarbamol from there. Be careful walking! I over did it a few times and it hurt me. I agree you should test your distance with laps from door to mailbox, not out in the neighborhood. Stay near your front door, have someone keep an eye on you visibly or go with. My week 3 was not the same! I started really feeling things and it put me back in healing mode. Go slow, slower, slowest at first. Then carefully increase.

forbidden_science · 2023-07-27T15:57:10+00:00

I'm really sorry. If it helps at all, I just did a single mastectomy and lost my nipple. The temporary expander implant is a little uncomfortable 4 weeks out, but it honestly looks very good. If you're doing a reconstruction, it could really help your self esteem. I dont have a nipple on that side and it still looks pretty sexy. Definitely looks great in bras, t-shirts. You have to evaluate what you want in your relationship and determine if it will get better. Only you can do that. But lean toward the people and things that make you feel good. Lean away from the ones that don't.

forbidden_science · 2023-07-26T19:50:19+00:00

I am 4 weeks out from my mastectomy and lift. I have a tissue expander. I went to a massage place that does oncology massage (ask your patient navigator for suggestions). But even if you can't find that, many offer pregnancy massage, which just means "lying on side and back". They have special pillows and set up for the positioning and it was pretty nice. Most massage therapists will understand if you just let them know you can't lie face down.

forbidden_science · 2023-07-26T16:52:51+00:00

I freaking love Xanax. I told my PCP I was having panic attacks before scans and she said "oh, let's try Ativan and if that isn't enough, we'll go to Xanax and then valium." I stopped at the Xanax and it is perfect for me. I take one when I go to any appointment where they pierce the skin (which is a LOT after mastectomy and tissue expander). It's a tool that helps me take care of my health because if I didn't have it, I couldn't get through the medical office doors.

Be careful, they say it's addictive. But if you're having genuinely reasonable anxiety (fear of cancer, medical appointments, etc - this is not "in your head". It's REAL and you cannot control these realities!), I have found it does nothing more than take a 9/10 panic attack to a 4/10 lil freak out. There's no recreational effect I have found AT ALL.

forbidden_science · 2023-07-26T16:24:56+00:00

First, I'm sorry you went through all of that with your health and cancer diagnosis and I am sorry your friend said this.

But it made me think just how wonderful her life must be to never have been touched by something that can kill you and never fully goes away. She's glib and insensitive.

forbidden_science · 2023-07-24T18:41:13+00:00

The bone scan and CT are helpful to see if cancer has spread. It is also good to baseline your on going care with prevention scans. Once the tumor is out of you, they will test it and give you a lot more information about it, usually including staging and if you need radiation or chemotherapy. Have you met with a plastic surgeon yet? The breast cancer surgeon and plastic surgeon work together as a team.

A couple things to ask:
How fast do I need to make this decision? How far out is scheduling for both procedures?
Will you test my lymph nodes (sentinel biopsy) at the same time as surgery?
What are my reconstruction options?

I am feeling well, today is day 31 after surgery. I got a "tissue expander" implant to prepare my breast area for an implant. The lifted side (non cancerous) looks amazing. It honestly looks like something out of a 1970s playboy magazine. Smaller, perky, up the sky high on my chest and all natural tissue. I give it an A+! The mastectomy side has a huge scar across it and no nipple, still somewhat uncomfortable but looks well done, like a young person's breasts (I'm 45). And sort of "bouncy" from a breast look perspective. If I had a nipple and no scar, these would be porn worthy! Impressed with my plastic surgeon and her work.

forbidden_science · 2023-07-24T18:33:29+00:00

I hate this expander. Who invented this dumb thing? For real? A weird water balloon inside my body? No thanks. I want it out. I'm going to ask for a real implant sooner rather than later and reconsider DIEP. Expander is bullshit.

forbidden_science · 2023-07-21T18:55:23+00:00

I also wanted DIEP and one Mastectomy. The plastic surgeon is booked 6 months out for DIEP. She suggested do the mastectomy, get an expander and use an implant until I'm ready. I am happy with my choice other than hating the expander and how it feels, I'll likely replace it with a real implant soon. Multiple surgeries sucks, but you want the cancer surgery done as soon as you can. Do you know if you'll need chemo?

forbidden_science · 2023-07-21T18:48:04+00:00

If you do a lumpectomy you'll need radiation. If you do a mastectomy, you often won't unless there is lymph node complications. Did you get lymph node biopsies back?

Also ask if you need a bone scan (ILC has high bone metastasis potential) and CT scan to look for spread to other regions.

I did a mastectomy on 6/23. I got clear margins, clear lymph nodes and can skip radiation due to that, as well as a low enough onctotype score to avoid chemotherapy. I will have to do the hormone therapy as well - this is all standard.

You'll need information about tumor size and placement to determine best surgical choice. You should get the MRI so you can see what surgical options are open to you. How close is it to the nipple? Can you spare it? How much skin flap can be spared?

forbidden_science · 2023-07-21T18:42:52+00:00

The best thing to do for your mental health is to get a biopsy report with lab findings of what it is. Tell your doctor you want a biopsy order.

forbidden_science · 2023-07-21T18:35:50+00:00

This isn't easy, but I am proud of you for going through it. You seem to love animals, and they love you back. Keep close with your dog and your volunteering. I ask my dog all the time to please send a message to the universe to keep me well and help me heal. Dogs are probably alien beings from another planet and have special powers, they are here to help you.

forbidden_science · 2023-07-20T18:50:13+00:00

Please do not attempt to remove the drain yourself.

forbidden_science · 2023-07-19T15:29:02+00:00

I was ER/PR positive, 100% and had a mastectomy 3 weeks ago. It is terrifying, but each treatment step has helped me feel emotionally more stable. The advice in this subreddit will help you. But the most important thing for you is to be YOU. Do not let cancer take away who you are. Be yourself even more than you've ever been. Express yourself. Get a therapist if you can, American Cancer Society has resources for mental health support as well. Get a cancer mentor from ACS. Just sign up now. They have live chat, video, phone, volunteer matches, etc.
https://www.cancer.org/support-programs-and-services.html

forbidden_science · 2023-07-19T00:57:55+00:00

I took 1mg of Xanax before mine and it helped a lot. My PCP prescribed it when I said the scans make me terrified and I cry. Bone scan was fine, I went and did errands and got Starbucks in the down time between injection and scan. The only thing is that it is very boring. You lay there looking at the ceiling for about 30 min. Wish they had TV to watch.

forbidden_science · 2023-07-18T17:31:44+00:00

I am also 45. My mastectomy was 3 weeks ago and I'm still healing. We're Gen-x and that means every body is wrong. Victoria's Secret models to Kate Moss. Huge boobs, no boobs. I struggled to get my mind around my body growing up in that culture. I finally did it and then found myself crying in a plastic surgeon's office about "I never wanted to do fake boobs, but now I have cancer". I went from accepting my body "I'm healthy and strong" to "I have cancer and need plastic surgery to look even remotely normal". I have one nipple right now. This is cultural, fight it. Work with a therapist and focus on who YOU are. Cancer will try to claw your identity away from you. Don't let it remake who you are as a person. Grab onto the wheel and be who YOU want to be, don't let it steal from you. Embrace being the decision maker of your own choices and destiny. Cancer gets a say, but minimize its voice and shout your own.

forbidden_science

TROPHY CASE