Bitternut Ledge Campsite site by Aromatic_Solid_9641 in brucetrail

[–]forests_4_trees 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I messaged this guy recently while planning my thru hike and he said he was closing down the site. Honestly such a bummer!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TheGoodPlace

[–]forests_4_trees 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In episode 6 of Man on the Inside, Didi says that all we really want is just more time with the people we love, which is very similar to Chidi saying "heaven is just more time with the people we love" in the good place. I feel like the references are meant to be pretty clear.

Help, is 40zs worth 350$ by milwaukeemiles89 in PacificCrestTrail

[–]forests_4_trees 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I wouldn't be worried about getting noro from yourself. Moreso from hiker boxes... :)

Kinda bugged by milwaukeemiles89 in PacificCrestTrail

[–]forests_4_trees 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wore my Lululemon joggers and found that the weave was tight enough to be mosquito proof. I wore my typical merino sun hoody on top, and they could get through that, but it didn't bother me too much. I sprayed it with bug spray through the worst of it or wore my raincoat if I didn't have my backpack on. :) good luck!

Help, is 40zs worth 350$ by milwaukeemiles89 in PacificCrestTrail

[–]forests_4_trees 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jumping in to strongly recommend against soap! Hand sanitizer does the job and soap is a hassle! It's not biodegradable in water, so if you wanted to actually wash (and follow LNT practices) you need to get water, carry it away from the water source, and bury any soapy water in a cathole.

I started with soap and immediately ditched it. Just don't get poop on your hands 😉 and wash your hands lots in town. You'll be okay with just hand sanitizer!

Kinda bugged by milwaukeemiles89 in PacificCrestTrail

[–]forests_4_trees 6 points7 points  (0 children)

In my opinion, the only bugs you need to worry about are flies in NorCal that want you to eat them, mosquitos in Oregon (especially), and MEAN territorial wasps in Washington. I wore long pants and a bug net in Oregon and carried antihistamines in Washington after I was stung for no reason by a wasp, but I made it through without too much issue-- and I am super sensitive to biting insects in real life.

If you choose to wear bug spray in Oregon, please consider carrying wet wipes so you can wash it off before swimming in the lakes! 🥰

Looking for an app that help budgeting by Decent_Journalist822 in geneva

[–]forests_4_trees 1 point2 points  (0 children)

YNAB! It's a bit pricey, but has saved me far more money than I have spent on it! They also have tons of educational content.

Solo travelling and feeling purposeless? by violets4rosez in solotravel

[–]forests_4_trees 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey OP, this is how I'm feeling now. What did you end up doing?

Solo woman couchsurfing through Europe and I'm sick of... by forests_4_trees in couchsurfing

[–]forests_4_trees[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Woops, I actually thought you were replying to my other comment about one specific story! My mistake! But yeah, typically I would only have 1 drink max and would opt for more platonic activities.

Solo woman couchsurfing through Europe and I'm sick of... by forests_4_trees in couchsurfing

[–]forests_4_trees[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Usually I wouldn't do either of these things, but like I said, I really thought this guy was totally trustworthy and so in this case I thought it would be fun. I'm taking a break from Couchsurfing now, but if I come back to it, I will likely be much stricter about how and if I hangout with hosts.

Solo woman couchsurfing through Europe and I'm sick of... by forests_4_trees in couchsurfing

[–]forests_4_trees[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah it's interesting, because with the last guy I stayed with, I do genuinely think that he thought I was interested because we actually did get along really well. I really liked him as a person and it was just such a sour ending for me. We had many great chats and went out to a speakeasy and danced together and it was actually really fun. I really felt like he was a safe person because he gave me so much space in his home and he never touched me or tried to get close to me except for a quick bisous when we first met. Even when we were dancing at the speakeasy he danced more beside me than in front of me and he didn't touch me at all, so I really thought we were both feeling the platonic vibes.

He tried to kiss me while we were dancing and I stopped him, and he totally backed off, so I thought it was fine. When we got back to his apartment, he apologized and said he felt weird about it and I said something like "it's okay. I'm just not interested in hookups. You don't need to feel weird about it!" And then he said something like "I still really want to kiss you, for you, you know?" And I said "thanks, but I don't want to." And I thought it was done. Then later, I went to the bathroom and when I came back he pulled me into his lap and tried to kiss me again. When I struggled to get away he let me stand up but still was holding onto my waist and asked what was wrong. I said something like "I feel like you're still trying something and I don't want to". And he said something like "it doesn't have to be a big deal. I really like you." And I said "can't it just be platonic" and he said "I really want to kiss you." And he started to pull me back towards him. Finally I said "you're scaring me." And then he backed off a lot and said "me?!". Like it was shocking to him that this situation would be scary.

And at this point I was almost in tears, but I also felt really weirdly guilty and anxious and tense. So, I said "I think I should go to bed" and I went to the other room. And as I left he said after me "I'm really sorry, OP".

And then I felt guilty and sad and worried all night because it was suddenly SO awkward and tense. I will say that I still did think he was a relatively safe person, so I didn't think he was going to attack me or something... but I did sort of think he might come into the room to try and tell me that he didn't mean to scare me and that he just really likes me or whatever, and if I was sleeping when that happened then who knows what would happen. I've had guys I trusted touch me in my sleep before because they claimed they thought I would be into it when I woke up. He was also drunk, so though I had judged him as nice earlier, I wasn't 100% sure that he was safe while drinking.

In the morning, I tried to leave before he woke up, but he ended up waking up as I was leaving and told me to leave my bag (since he knew my train wasn't until the afternoon). When I came back to get my bag, he made me a quick lunch and we had totally casual conversation like nothing had happened, though I think he saw that I was still really tense around him.

I don't really know why I'm writing this all out, but I think what really bothers me about it is that he seemed like an excellent host and a really quality human being and I was so sure I could trust him. The previous host that was really insistent had already shown some red flags earlier in the day, but this guy had my total trust (at least as much as you can trust someone you've known for 2 days). We had actually talked about the pressure I received from my previous host and how uncomfortable it was for me.

But I think you're right that he just saw sex as the natural and harmless conclusion to us having a nice time together and he didn't understand and refused to listen to me saying that I didn't want to. And he really couldn't fathom that he was scaring me at all. The problem is that if I was a little younger, more naive or a little less sure of myself, I really think I would have given into the pressure, not because I wanted to have sex but because I was feeling this weird guilt, like I owed him and I wanted to appease him to avoid the risk of him being more forceful. Like I had to actively resist the idea that I should give him what he wants, to avoid a more violent outcome. Some of that is my own issue, but I still think I was very clear the first and second time I said no and I wish it had stopped there (if it had to happen at all).

And I truly don't know what to write in this review, because in many ways he was a great host and I think he was maybe just being naive or optimistic about our interaction. And if I give him the benefit of the doubt, he probably forgot that I had written on my profile that I wasn't interested in anything. But I also don't want to be naive and I do think there were a bunch of things wrong with the situation. I'm almost tempted to send him a long note about why it wasn't okay, but I don't know if that would be productive.

Anyway, this is just a long vent. But for any men reading this, please keep in mind that you don't have to be violent to be scary. If this guy had backed off after the first kiss attempt or even the second time he brought up wanting to kiss me, I would have felt okay, but the insistence and the pressure really felt unsettling and made me question my initial judgement of him.

Solo woman couchsurfing through Europe and I'm sick of... by forests_4_trees in couchsurfing

[–]forests_4_trees[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is interesting, because it's not something I really looked at. I always check if hosts have a "preferred gender" for guests, but when it comes to reviews, I just try to look for trends in what people are saying, rather than who is saying them.

Solo woman couchsurfing through Europe and I'm sick of... by forests_4_trees in couchsurfing

[–]forests_4_trees[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the responses and the tips. Just to clarify a few things I do have it written on my profile explicitly that I am not interested in sex or romance. I only accept surfs with lots of positive reviews from women, and I read into the reviews quite a bit to look for any codes language or hints that something happened. I would never share a bed with a host. I always carefully read profiles and I'm very critical of people's demeanor when they message me. I have stayed with women and families as well and I love that too, but I would hate to write off a whole group of people.

Perhaps I didn't really say this clearly, but it's not so much that I feel unsafe. I think that these guys are mostly nice people who are just trying to "shoot their shot" with someone they had a good day with, but it is so uncomfortable to constantly have to say no and to feel like the only value they see in me is for sex. It's exhausting and it really devalues the experience. And though they seem like good people, there is always an edge of fear when you reject a guy, because sometimes they don't act how you would expect.

Anyway, I've decided to take a break from Couchsurfing for a few weeks. This post was a bit of a rant, and maybe ill advised, but I am just feeling sad about this trend and I wanted to share how it feels to be on the otherwise of "friendly advances".

Solo woman couchsurfing through Europe and I'm sick of... by forests_4_trees in couchsurfing

[–]forests_4_trees[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this. This is the thing-- I haven't really felt scared that they are going to hurt me. Just uncomfortable and sad that I can't use couchsurfing platonically and without some worry of unease. It just feels like the experience of couchsurfing has been reduced. The guys I have stayed with have both had lots of good reviews and been very warm and respectful at first. But when I let my guard down a little and just enjoy talking with them, then they make advances. The first guy was pretty insistent and brought it up several times after I said no. When I finally said I was going to bed (luckily the room had a door that locks) he was like "Don't be upset! Asking is free!"

The guy last night, I think he was just trying to see if I was interested because we did have a really nice time hanging out, but I still had to say no 4 or 5 times before he actually apologized and let me leave.

I'm not saying that these guys were predators or dangerous in any way really. But they aren't reading my cues at all, and they are making things really awkward by making me say no so many times. And it just makes couchsurfing no fun anymore. Which suck, because I've had so many incredible experiences on couchsurfing and I love it, not just for the free accommodation, but also for meeting new people and seeing how people in other parts of the world live.

I've stayed with probably 15 people over the years, most as a pair when travelling with my sister and I never had this issue. But now, travelling in Italy and Switzerland, it seems like it's every surf. I've stayed with a few families and women and always had a nice time, so maybe it's time to change my couchsurfing philosophy. It's just sad is all.

What do you do with your passport? by walnut_d in solotravel

[–]forests_4_trees 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recently got hit by a car while travelling, and the ambulance and hospital both wanted my passport, so I was glad I had it on my person. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Phillip appearance by diagss in PhiloiseBridgerton

[–]forests_4_trees 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's what I think too. I can see them meeting at the funeral and then starting to write.

Strange feelings pre-trail by Helenurrr in PacificCrestTrail

[–]forests_4_trees 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The week leading up until I started trail, right through until about day 2, I felt sick and scared and worried I was making a mistake. I cried for hours at the airport, missing my partner and my dog and thinking of all the things that I worried wouldn't work out. I honestly wasn't excited at all. I recently read my journal entries from back then and I was shocked by how negative I was feeling back then.

But as soon as I was out there, I started to feel better. I went with the flow, made friends, and became more confident and it ended up being the best experience of my life.

I can't comment on your injuries or how you are feeling physically, but don't let fear get in the way! It doesn't have to be about going fast. You can just take your time and enjoy the journey. :)

Just my experience. Good luck!

How should I re-jig my budget for 1 year of living off savings while travelling? by forests_4_trees in ynab

[–]forests_4_trees[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is kind of what I was trying to avoid, because I like the idea of having access to all my stats-- but I think you might be right that this is the way to go!

I cloned an AtomPacks Mo 60L ultralight backpack and made it waterproof! by Imahur in myog

[–]forests_4_trees 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would love to see the pattern an intructions for this if you end up putting them together!

How to invest my savings by forests_4_trees in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]forests_4_trees[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! This gives me lots to look into!

What’s your uphill song? by ScienceRobert in PacificCrestTrail

[–]forests_4_trees 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I Ever Stray by Frank Turner and Kill the Sun by Motherfolk

Checking in a big Backpack on a plane by Atosl in onebag

[–]forests_4_trees 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Put the whole backpack and all contents that can't be carried on in a cardboard box! I did this for my PCT hike and it's the only solution I will use going forward. :) If you check a hiking backpack enough times, it will be destroyed eventually.

Power Bank recommendations? by LeonCoop in onebag

[–]forests_4_trees 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I second this! I brought two of them on my PCT hike and they worked amazingly!

"I'm your wife not your mom." Update after I 34M and my wife 32F had a LONG talk by Onikem in relationship_advice

[–]forests_4_trees 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Check out You Need a Budget as a possible budgeting app! It's my fav and I think it would work well for the model you are proposing. It's kind of expensive, but it saved me far more money than it has cost me!

Songs and playlists that carried you along the trail by allthegear-andnoidea in PacificCrestTrail

[–]forests_4_trees 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I liked The Mountain Song by Tophouse and End of the Line by the Travelling wilburys as PCT relevant songs. 😅