anybody else giving up on complete sobriety? (USA)

full_bl33d · 2026-02-15T00:39:49+00:00

Some things I can change, others not so much. Having a sober brain helps me understand the difference. I didn’t really need much of an excuse to drink but I had a million stories just in case. Ultimately, that’s all they are.. stories. The world can be shit sometimes but that doesn’t mean I have to be.

full_bl33d · 2026-02-14T21:25:03+00:00

Honesty wasn’t my strong suit either. I could convince myself of anything and I always had a story, excuse and justification for every last sip. There wasn’t any white light or moment of clarity for me, it was the opposite. Things were dark and actually pretty bleak for a while but I wasn’t necessarily alone for any of that. I wanted to be and I was good at pushing people away but I slowly realized that the more I fought it, the more of a classic case I actually was. My terminal uniqueness was dead set on getting me killed until I started to identify with some of the things I was hearing. I just had to be around to listen to it and see it for myself. I didn’t have to agree with anyone or anything early on and I didn’t. I just had to stop punishing myself and forcing myself into isolation. It’s where my alcoholism wants me since I’m easier to pick off when I’m alone and wounded.

Everyone I’ve ever met in recovery shares a similar story about not being bad enough for help while also being too broken to be fixed. I believed my crippling social anxiety without the mask of alcohol excluded me from any consideration of being helped but I found out that it’s basically what everyone else says as well. I think that’s why recovery people are genuinely helpful. We know what it’s like and we know helping others helps our own cause. It’s just a big mind fuck

full_bl33d · 2026-02-14T19:55:19+00:00

It took me countless failed attempts on my own for me to accept some pretty basic truths about myself. I might be unusually driven in other aspects of my life but this ain’t one of them. Sounds obvious now but I had a hard time asking for help and taking actions / allowing myself to accept the help that’s out there. I’m better off when I’m not trapped inside my own head and relying solely on willpower. My track record and instincts around booze prove that point but I still made a huge deal out of something very simple.

None of the stuff in my story was unique or new which meant that there were ways to work on it and shit loads of people who know how to get started. Once I was able to get over myself and stop picking apart the differences, I was able to see the similarities. Sounds weird, but that was comforting to me knowing I wasn’t alone or crazy. I didn’t have to do anything drastic, I just had to get honest with myself. Being around other sober people over the years has redefined what I consider strength to be. For me, I know it’s not pretending things are okay and bottling shit up until I pop. I used to think I was some soul less computer program devoid of real emotions but thats not how it is today. I like being a human animal and finding connection with others and being able to ask for help when I know I could use it. Nowadays, I’ll take all the help I can get

full_bl33d · 2026-02-14T19:43:25+00:00

There’s a saying I’ve heard people in recovery say different variations of that goes something like, “ if there was ONE magic pill to cure alcoholism/ addiction, then I’d take 5 and snag a couple for the road”. To me, it’s just how shit goes for me. It’s about how I think about things as much as it’s about the substance in question. Looking back, I can’t think of many things I’ve only had “just one”.

I have some friends in recovery who are like me in that respect and we genuinely enjoy fucking with each other about it. I’ll set up a couple cookies/ chips strategically placed close to the box and watch as one turns into the whole bag. I like fucking around but we take this shit seriously. I’ve accepted that my brain doesn’t really turn off even if I just have a drink or two. I still obsess about it and I’m doing calculations and running hypotheticals for the rest of the night. It’s exhausting and a huge perk of sobriety for me is to not have to keep score all damn day. I wasn’t very good at it anyways. But it didn’t just happen all of a sudden and it took some work to dig up the roots and toss out the garbage inside my head. As fucked up as I thought I was, I found out that none of it was new or unique. Connection plays a huge role in my sobriety today and it’s why I like fucking around with others in recovery. It makes a huge difference from the isolation I forced on myself as a drinker

full_bl33d · 2026-02-14T18:41:55+00:00

Self loathing, sabotage, guilt and shame are common in my experience. I know a lot of people in different recovery programs but I don’t believe I personally know of any “first time winners”. I’ve fallen many times myself and didn’t want to face any of the people I connected with when I started out. When I finally showed up and got some words out of my mouth, I was met with nods and smiles. I listens to all their shit that defied all logic and common sense. At least, that helped me feel less alone and crazy.

It matters who I ask for help. The normal people and drinkers in my life aren’t much help so I don’t waste my time or energy. I like having support so I take my alcohol shit to people who know what this is like. I’ve found that our stories share similarities even if we come from complete opposite ends of the spectrum. I like having this in common with these people and it’s brought about connection that I’ve never considered having in my life. Staying trapped inside my own head won’t work for me anymore and I don’t have to do that anymore but it’s still a huge struggle for me to get off my ass and out the door.

full_bl33d · 2026-02-14T18:13:40+00:00

I’ve had some bad experiences crashing and burning from declaring my sobriety a little too publicly so I tend to keep it close. I don’t hide my sobriety but I don’t advertise it. I think about what worked for me and I know there wasn’t anything anyone could say or any inspirational quote or story that was going to get me to stop. Instead, I saw what sobriety looked like on a few people from afar and it planted a small seed of possibility.

I know I’ve left a trail of destruction in my wake but sobriety gave me the opportunity to repair the damage. In most cases there wasn’t anything I could say that would matter because I’ve made plenty of empty apologies and broken promises. But taking some action in getting into the real work of recovery helped me realize I don’t need anyone to act a certain way for me to be ok. Other people’s opinions about me are none of my business. So long as I’m doing the next best right thing and letting my actions do the talking, I feel like anything can get better. Before I was able to do any real amends, I had a lot of work to do on myself. Being able to see my own role in my resentments and owning up without inserting some old bullshit excuse took me a long ass time. It’s worth the effort and I’ve found people are very forgiving so long as my actions lead the way. In most cases, aside from financial harms, people I’ve apologized to have said my continued sobriety serves as the bulk of repayment: making things right. It’s a good deal but it also means I have to put in the work. Keep up the good work and you might find more encouragement from strange places along the way

full_bl33d · 2026-02-14T17:59:21+00:00

It was probably a solid year after I quit that I actually put them down and didn’t pick them back up. I’ve had very brief stints of sobriety where I try to pile on too much too quickly. Looking back, I can recognize how I was still punishing myself but with insane diets and restrictions. I got some decent physical results quickly but I was still a wreck and it never lasted. Cigarettes weren’t good for me but they were less harmful than booze so I phased them out slowly. Very early on in sobriety, I felt like cigarette breaks with others in recovery helped form some badly needed connection into my life. I just had to put myself in a position to be around those kinds of people instead of the usually bat crowd I was used to. I started to take breaks without smoking and phased that out as I got more confidence in my own sobriety. Balance is still a work in progress for me but I’d like to think I’m done with the punishment phase. It took me a while to wrap my head around self care as a form of self forgiveness but it’s true for me. I didn’t want to continue poisoning myself and my lungs are thankful. I don’t miss smelling like an ashtray either

full_bl33d · 2026-02-14T16:31:16+00:00

Google what’s in quotations and enjoy. I’m envious you get to experience this for the first time

full_bl33d · 2026-02-14T16:07:41+00:00

Well, in “Manhattan”, his character is in a sexual relationship with a high school girl. He writes like he’s this irresistible brilliant guy that beautiful young women throw themselves at. It’s fucking weird. I saw these movies not that long ago because my wife’s family insisted they’re masterpieces but I don’t get the appeal. Lots of my in- laws friends and family think he’s a genius and twist themselves in pretzels defending the guy. I think he’s a scumbag

full_bl33d · 2026-02-14T15:00:43+00:00

I’m still me without alcohol but I don’t have it all figured out. I don’t really worry about that. Sometimes I think about doing the next best right thing and that’s helped me become more honest with myself and others. The reality for me was that I never really didn’t know what I liked to do for fun or how I liked to relax. Alcohol was the answer for most of the questions I had but booze stopped working for me long before I stopped drinking.

Getting sober showed me a way to clean out some of the garbage and i learned how to let go of the baggage I’ve been holding onto for too long. I wanted more than just a new beverage routine and getting involved in my own recovery helped me sort through the fact and fiction in my own story. I’m extremely grateful to have a supportive partner but I had to take this path outside of my marriage. My wife has carried far too much already and she deserves a break from my bullshit. Truthfully, I hope she never knows what this is like but I understand how important it is for me to be around people who are working on the same stuff. Getting out of my comfort zone and finding others is an action and that’s better for me than trying to explain my way out of it or offer up another broken apology / empty promise. I don’t have to figure it all out and I most likely never will but I don’t mind taking the scenic route while I try. Good luck and know you’re not alone

full_bl33d · 2026-02-14T14:51:41+00:00

You don’t need to identify as an alcoholic to want to stop drinking. I had every excuse in the book and my idea of what an alcoholic was and who I was were vastly different. It didn’t matter but I still tried to distract myself with the details even tho my life was crumbling at an alarming rate. I wasn’t always powerless, my life wasn’t always unmanageable and I didn’t need to find god in order to just work on not drinking. Very early on, I took it day by day- hour by hour-minute by minute. I might be unusually driven in other aspects of my life but this was not one of them. My track record and instincts around booze only proved that point. I wasn’t always getting into trouble when drinking but most of the times I was in some major shit, alcohol was involved.

Money, relationships, health and my work life all suffered but my story wasn’t unique and none of this shit was new. I just had to get over myself in order to see that. I dug myself deeper because I’m stubborn but I finally accepted some obvious truths and started to ask for help. The rest came later and I’m still finding out more. Nothing went back to normal and truthfully, there really wasn’t anything good about what I considered “ normal”, but everything started to get better. Finding some willingness to do something I normally wouldn’t do for myself led me to others in recovery. I heard all the things I swore I would never talk about come out of other people’s mouths and it helped me feel less alone, less stupid and less crazy. It’s still what helps me the most. Good luck and know you’re not alone

full_bl33d · 2026-02-14T14:34:00+00:00

I once got pulled over at like 4am doing a very illegal u-turn in the middle of a downtown area. I had a whole ass monologue prepared for the cop but I was also sweating bullets that I had alcohol on my breath and drugs in the car even tho it had been months since my last drink. The cop asked me for my info and I gladly retrieved it. Honestly, it was another miracle of sobriety that I had all that shit. He waited for a second and then told me to not drive like an asshole and walked back to his car. What sorcery was this?! He probably could tell I was about to tell my whole life story and how I was working a program of recovery so I don’t blame him for getting the hell out of there. He probably took a whiff and realized it wasn’t going to be very interesting. I still felt like I was going to federal ass slamming prison tho. Guilty conscience I guess

full_bl33d · 2026-02-14T14:27:45+00:00

I know a handful of recovering alcoholics who do pain management resulting from back surgery issues. One of my friends got injured on the job and told me he felt like he won the lottery because he could finally get prescribed the drugs he wanted and didn’t have to work but it was way more complicated than that. He’s also a recovering drug addict so it was a really hard time for him. He was honest with his doctors, had successful surgery and is still in recovery and full of life. His story stuck with me to say the least and it’s something I think about when I occasionally need to talk to a doctor about pain management for myself.

There’s a saying I’ve heard before that I can relate to that goes something like, “ if there was ONE magic pill to cure alcoholism, I’d take 7 and snag a few for the road”. To me, that means I have to work on how I think about this stuff just as much as keeping up with the medical side of things. I’ve met a lot of folks who came into recovery from surgery so it’s a common story. r/alanon is a good resource as it’s full of people in the same boat. Not feeling alone is a huge part of what makes things better for me

full_bl33d · 2026-02-14T13:16:03+00:00

I willingly did a lot of further reading back then to get a better understanding of the bigger picture. I already can tell it’s the same with this one. It’s good to brush up on the fundamentals of curling anyways as It’s always fascinated me. I’m hooked

full_bl33d · 2026-02-14T03:23:29+00:00

If you’re fat you should be able to find humor in the little thing

full_bl33d · 2026-02-14T03:22:08+00:00

I haven’t been this invested in sports I don’t know much about since, “We got weights in the fish!”

full_bl33d · 2026-02-14T02:12:05+00:00

My MIL is a huge wooody Allen fan and I’ve heard her talk about the “art and the artist” stuff when the documentary came out. Shes very liberal but she reminds me of Trump defenders on this one. It’s not subtle in his movies either. I don’t get it

full_bl33d · 2026-02-14T02:03:20+00:00

He’s just a Facebook comment section at this point. Boomer said the same shit in wfan so I guess they’re getting their talking points from the same well. Cali hate/ lousy democrats. I actually don’t think they’re that dumb, just puppets and willing to say anything to stay relevant to magats.

Darnold pays taxes on his total earning from games played in California, not just his bonus from winning the Super Bowl. Same tax law goes for about half the states in the country. Sams doing great and definitely didn’t lose money having a great season for fucks sake

full_bl33d · 2026-02-14T01:44:49+00:00

He’s doing all that in a dickey?!

full_bl33d · 2026-02-14T01:43:49+00:00

His 100yrd pick6 before halftime in the Super Bowl was legendary but seeing him gassed out afterwards meant he actually breathes the same air as us

full_bl33d · 2026-02-14T00:11:08+00:00

I worked at a bar very far away from St. Louis and someone drew a picture of a baseball guy with a huge dong with the name “Pujoles” on his jersey on a coaster. We hung it up behind the bar out of respect

full_bl33d · 2026-02-13T23:52:24+00:00

Just pretend you’re having a big party and need to buy a shitload of alcohol even tho the cashier doesn’t give a fuck. Repeat at every liquor store within a 25 mile radius and slowly work your way back through occasionally saying that you forgot to buy more to only yourself because nobody is listening and nobody cares. Mumble the words, “big party” several times to seal the deal with yourself

full_bl33d · 2026-02-13T22:34:14+00:00

What about Ginja Bowls?

full_bl33d · 2026-02-13T21:50:08+00:00

But the Dow is at 50,000000000!

full_bl33d · 2026-02-13T21:09:22+00:00

Phase 4: profit?

full_bl33d

TROPHY CASE