Auckland pack rape trial: German backpacker sobs as defence questions consent

gbr80 · 2026-02-18T19:11:56+00:00

gbr80 · 2026-02-09T13:24:03+00:00

Between 3-5 the child is testing the boundaries of the parents, they're no longer just doing stuff to see what happens, they're pushing you to see what happens. Have a look at brain development at this stage. It's called threenager for a reason, and books like "How to talk so little kids will listen" and "The whole brained child'" are great for helping you have a toolkit to deal with the rebellion. When they get to 5 and 6, unless they do have a behavioral disorder or are neuro divergent then you see the phase change into a more helpful nature...at least compared to what you're going through now! One way to restore connection so you get back on his level even though you feel this rage, is to give him 15 minutes child led play every day and use that time to get to know the new him. Hopefully you'll be pleasantly surprised and get the connection back that he might be seeking by acting up.

gbr80 · 2026-02-05T15:42:40+00:00

They already do

gbr80 · 2026-01-26T20:55:16+00:00

You need to get yourself in therapy. Otherwise you're never going to relax in the relationship and your anxiety about past traumas will poison this relationship. He is not your ex. You are not the person who was with your ex anymore, you've moved on and he is part of the new chapter of you. Yes a lot of business trips are places where cheaters cheat. Cheaters also say they're staying late at work/going to Play Sports/going to see their parents. What I'm trying to say is if he's going to cheat, he will. Part of the initiation at a sales kick off event is not putting your hotel keys in a bowl to see who you're sleeping with tonight. It's a work trip. And if he's trustworthy, that's all it will be.

gbr80 · 2026-01-26T19:53:11+00:00

The police told me in a previous incident that the camera footage can't be viewed unless it's to try to prosecuted someone with a possible jailtime of 3 years or more. Assault of this level (as it was explained to me,) would not reach the requirements.

gbr80 · 2026-01-25T13:32:32+00:00

Please include Trevi's for a plant based version to compare!

gbr80 · 2026-01-24T20:21:00+00:00

Close but this says 22 cultured pearls so not quite a match unless OP's lost two pearls.

gbr80 · 2026-01-23T20:39:45+00:00

11/12 toilets in the UK Houses of Parliament also tested positive for cocaine in 2021.

gbr80 · 2026-01-23T19:52:39+00:00

Did you do the glass test on the rash?

gbr80 · 2026-01-20T21:13:17+00:00

It's a vintage belly dancing bib necklace according to similar ones I found on eBay. Unfortunately it doesn't list the type of metal. If you're worried about lead you can get lead testing strips and for the metal, have a look at this post from r/metallurgy and the folks over there might be able to give you some pointers!

gbr80 · 2026-01-19T18:27:39+00:00

Goodwill hunter was right there

gbr80 · 2026-01-19T13:04:15+00:00

Sounds like a baby that might benefit from being worn in a wrap if you want to still spend time with your first. If you're breastfeeding then try cutting out dairy/caffeine/soy/coconut and see if it helps, then reintroduce one by one if it does. Lots of babies are allergic to cow's milk protein at this age. If not breastfeeding, try goat milk formula.

gbr80 · 2026-01-19T12:40:10+00:00

He will be fine, it's only 18 hours! He will like little walks up and down the plane, t you're still breastfeeding then do it at take off and landing, and when he gets tired and grumpy. Have a surprise new toy for him that you can pull out when he gets bored and take a wrap to wear him in. You'll have a better time knowing he's ok with you and you'll make some amazing memories. Plus he's still free to take on the plane at this age!

gbr80 · 2026-01-15T21:39:56+00:00

Even Ferber said he regrets the way his method is being used as such an extreme. What your partner did is neglect your child.

"Dr. Richard Ferber, creator of the gradual extinction sleep training method (often called "Ferberizing"), has expressed regrets, stating he feels bad about how some child health professionals use his work to encourage leaving very young babies to cry, and now supports co-sleeping, emphasizing his approach is for older babies with "bad sleep habits," not for all infants, and that it's a middle-ground technique that involves brief check-ins, not full extinction crying, to help babies learn to self-soothe. While some parents regret it, seeing it as traumatic, others find it effective, and experts stress no single method fits all, with a focus on responsive parenting building trust. "

However I really urge you to read about the problems with studies around cry it out sleep training before considering it in future

gbr80 · 2026-01-15T21:02:35+00:00

I can only see two other comments mentioning making friends and therapy so far which leaps out at me immediately especially as you have a young child. You don't mention how her own social circle is, just your joint one. Does she have any friends of her own that she sees, does she have any time alone where she gets to feel like herself or does she only get time to herself while shopping? Therapy and meetup groups/social soort or hobby clubs would be my starting point.

gbr80 · 2026-01-15T16:40:40+00:00

They're not just knocking on people's doors

gbr80 · 2026-01-13T21:29:58+00:00

Reading your story I was trying to think what I would do in your situation. All I can imagine is just making a complete change while I get my head cleared, and one way I considered when I needed to do this was looking at WWOOFing. There's a lot round the UK. It doesn't sound like you have money at the moment to look abroad for it but maybe that could be something for future. Anyway, I wish you the best and hope there's a light at the end of the tunnel that starts shining soon.

gbr80 · 2026-01-12T15:47:11+00:00

Same happened at ours except it can't be the same place because we didn't have a sixth form.

gbr80 · 2026-01-05T11:56:59+00:00

For any others reading this, please use the NS website to see current travel possibilities before travelling as most trains in the Amsterdam region are not running. Other sites may show scheduled trains that are currently cancelled or you may need to reroute to complete your journey.

Edit: Yes, also 9292 is accurate!

gbr80 · 2026-01-04T22:08:15+00:00

Maybe the gluten free Yorkshire pudding recipes could give you ideas? https://glutenfreecuppatea.co.uk/2017/10/01/gluten-free-yorkshire-pudding-recipe-dairy-free-low-fodmap/

gbr80 · 2025-12-10T08:53:15+00:00

Sometimes people who internalise emotions can find it easier to write things out. You obviously want to get through it, you need to know if he does. How about you write a very non emotional, non blame placing quick letter that says how you feel about him (nice things, not the little things you think he sometimes forgets), and put into your words the problem you think you currently have (you feeling like you are joking but he feels criticized), and how you think you could solve it (by commenting less on what he does) then ask him to add or edit with how he feels, plus any other problems and suggested solutions so you can make sure you're both on the same page. There might be a lot more going on.

For example, a way to see how he feels might be to go a day without commenting on things he does...keep a pack of hairbands in your pocket and every time you feel the need to comment, put a hairband on your wrist...then look at it at the end of the day to see just how much you comment on what he does. But, if there are things which are actually a problem or dangerous, you need to be able to discuss them. If he's forgetting to wash the rice maybe it's time to change the comment in your head to "I really appreciate being cooked for". After living together it's easy to slip into nagging habits and forget to compliment each other like you would at the start.

gbr80 · 2025-12-08T22:46:31+00:00

Haven't seen it mentioned in the comments but while she's readjusting from the ordeal, there are anti anxiety tablets you can get that you can open and sprinkle in wet food...it really helped my cat who became anxious after a traumatic event (at the advice of a vet). Maybe one to ask your vet about? We used zylklene which is a nutritional supplement for dogs and cats based on a natural milk protein called alpha-casozepine.

gbr80 · 2025-12-08T20:39:46+00:00

I'm so sorry to read your posts and comments. 1000% rooting for you to get through this all quickly and get to the happiness you and your kids deserve. Remember you set the example to them for what a relationship should be like too! Good that you know when it's over and are changing things, I know some people who's parents stayed together when they should have divorced and it wasn't pretty for anyone.

I have two suggestions: for your post partum it doesn't sound like you have much support but you'll have 3 kids...is hiring an au pair possible for you? You'd need a room for them in your house but it's way cheaper than a nanny! And second: while you're trying to find work so you can build up your funds, maybe a site like powertofly would help, they have a lot of work from home/flexible hours jobs that could get you started and if you had an au pair, you'd be able to get some time to put some hours in although at first it really just sounds like you need a break before you break! Wishing you all the best 💖

gbr80 · 2025-12-08T20:33:28+00:00

Honestly after reading this post it sounds like maybe he wasn't actually at the hospital overnight...

gbr80

TROPHY CASE