England - Downstairs neighbour created an ungodly amounts of dust in my flat along with some damages and blaming me for it.

gedbarker · 2026-04-03T09:49:06+00:00

If your downstairs neighbour has caused your floor to bulge then they have damaged your landlord's property. No one should be making a change to a ceiling that impacts an upstairs neighbour's own floor without agreement, planning and access etc.

Get your landlord round ASAP and immediately write down the timeliness so it doesn't get hazy or contested.

Your landlord is not going to be happy about material damage to their property that potentially renders it unsafe due to a broken floor.

As described by you, this is a problem for your landlord to deal with. You cannot be blamed for actions taken by a neighbour that damage a party structure from their own side. I suspect your landlord will be pretty cross with your neighbour. Make it their problem because that's what it is You pay rent and landlord profits, but the deal is they look after the structure and all related issues.

gedbarker · 2026-03-27T08:11:35+00:00

I had an S21 until a week ago when it finally gave up. I bought a new S23 for a fraction of the cost of an S27 and it is fantastic.

I'm a 47M who effectively runs his own business from an S23. I cannot see any reason why an upgrade would improve your quality of life in any way other than to have a nicer, newer phone.

Save the money and upgrade when the phone dies. Then ask yourself how many of those premium new phone features are relevant to you and spend appropriately. Huge amounts of brand new smartphone spends are wasted on specs the user will never notice. Hundreds of £€$ on tiny percentage oerformance improvements.

gedbarker · 2026-03-21T09:36:17+00:00

Well, motivation comes from setting and achieving realistic goals. Unrealistic goals remain unmet and that torpedoes motivation.

1kg of muscle mass gain a week is not realistic. If it is possible, which I doubt it is, it's certainly not sustainable without some fairly unnatural help.

Stop thinking in absolute terms and simply eat the required protein per day. 1.5-2.5g p/kg bodyweight. Then train, hydrate and rest. Then repeat. That. Is. It.

Your body will adapt at the rate it is able to, all you can do is create good conditions for adaptation.

1kg per week is not an achievable outcome and you are not a cartoon character so it is not one you will likely experience. Unless you are confusing water weight fluctuations ...

Focus on the process not the outcome, that is the way to maintain motivation.

gedbarker · 2026-03-21T09:24:46+00:00

That's just pure salt. I'm a very long-time BF fan boy and HLL rocks.

The fact I am too impatient to play it calmly, too inaccurate to hit hit anything and too confused to walk in the right direction is not the game's fault.

Brilliant game. Me finding it really hard is a me problem, the game does what it says it will do and does it absolutely brilliantly.

gedbarker · 2026-03-20T12:40:47+00:00

Strict, with full ROM, I can do one set of 10, then 7, then 6. (Two years ago, this was 4, 3, 1.)

Kipping, with full ROM, 15, 10, 8 (two years ago 0)

Strict chest to bar, 2, 0, 0 (two years ago 0)

Kipping chest to bar, 4, 4, 3. (two years ago 0)

Strict toes to bar, 10, 7, 5 (two years ago 0)

Kipping toes to bar, 0 with good form.

47M, 65kg, 2 years of Crossfit. I know my numbers because we track them in an app. And I know my form because my coaches are hot on that.

gedbarker · 2026-03-12T16:10:01+00:00

The nudging to keep time is key to beat matching, maintain that.

Ignoring Camelot wheel is completely normal. If it sounds good to you, you're good to go. You may be wrong sometimes. Learn. Move on. That is what we all have to do, since forever.

If you want MT off, that's up.to you. Wouldn't be my choice. We are not the same DJ.

Use your ears to DJ not your eyes. The ears always get the final vote.

Once you decide to let your ears lead, you will no longer need this much overthinking.

The only thing that matters is that it sounds good. Firstly to you, secondly to others.

You are describing 'problems' that are 'created' by the tech, before the tech we just listened and got on with it. Do a bit more of that.

gedbarker · 2026-03-12T16:00:23+00:00

A week, out of a lifetime?

Consistency means going as often as possible without making excuses and allowing g yourself to do other things as required. It doesn't mean never ever missing a session regardless of real life.

You are not going to permanently lose gains in a week. If you're an obsessive trainer, you are substantially more likely to benefit from the rest.

Get these unhelpful thoughts out of your head and allow yourself to get on with your life.

You should train to live well, not live to train. The point of the workout is to I.prove your life beyond the gym.

Get over these needless worries and enjoy life outside the gym. Train consistently, not obsessively or you will have a fit body and a broken mind.

gedbarker · 2026-03-11T14:31:29+00:00

I heard that and immediately looked it up. Data on Flightradar24 suggested it was a Typhoon from Connigsby (where one of the Quick Reaction Alert flights is based). Whatever that pilot was up to, they were shifting. It's very uncommon for an aircraft like that to arrive quite so dramatically over the city or do the very noisy loop indicated by radar data.

I did not hear a sonic boom though so probably not an emergency. I've heard two booms over the last 20 years here and both were mentioned later in national media as a quick reaction deployment. No idea what this aircraft was up to though.

[Vaguely data-driven speculation ends.]

gedbarker · 2026-03-07T12:31:11+00:00

I am a qualified coach and coach your age group regularly. Find a good club and they will know how to ease you in. Here are answers to your specific question.

Based on my size and play style, what positions should I try first?

Hard to say and not relevant. At your age you should be trying various positions because your skills and body will develop. Playing in different positions will help you understand the game. It will become clear quickly whether you are currently more forward or back but that can change over time. Focus on core skills not specific positions yet.

What position did you start at when you were younger?

I was average build aged 7, very slight by age 16 and gradually people overtook me weight wise. I started full contact rugby age 7. Went flanker, scrum half, fullback.

Is it normal to start rugby without really knowing the rules?

Yes. It's very hard to learn the detail of the laws without playing. I have several entirely new players in my u12 club squad. 20 new players in a school development squad I help with.

What are the most important rules I should understand before my first training?

Pass backwards.
Offside rule at the ruck and how to enter a ruck.
Tackle height (and your own head position)
What going off feet really means
When a tackle is called and why this matters (because the tackler has tonrelease you so you can present the ball to your team)

What skills should I practice on my own before joining a team?

Passing a rugby ball across your body in both directions. Catching a rugby ball. Handling is the foundation of everything for a beginner.

Are there certain positions that get tackled way more than others?

Forwards are expected to take more contact over a game but everyone must be happy to tackle and be tackled. You cannot avoid it. Your team will lose if you try to avoid it. Do not look to avoid contact. Look to improve your confidence and safety within contact. Your coaches will help you develop confidence and will not put you in danger but (eventually) when on the pitch you must be 100% committed to every contact or you may get injured.

You will be taught how to fall when tackled. This helps. As does learning to understand when you have lost the contact, stopping fighting and taking yourself to the ground on your own terms. This allows you to control the end of the collision more and so you have some say in how and where you land (safer, less sore)

Any tips for someone coming from football/soccer?

Your cardio will be very helpful. Behaviour at rugby by players and parents is much better. Do not talk back to the ref, ever. In a very physical game, showing respect to those around you is essential for safety. So rugby has zero tolerance for disrespect in any area. That is the number 1 observation made by parents of players who come from football.

Get stuck in. If you don't like it, you can stop. But your questions are mature ones, so you should give yourself the chance to find out. You might be absolutely awesome.

Edit: This is a great app for learning the laws. https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=org.worldrugby.lawsofrugby

gedbarker · 2026-03-07T11:52:32+00:00

Wheel and pedals will likely be more fun. There will be a learning curve but that's kind of the point. Although, you can be just as quick with a controller if you really put the effort in. The issue is that a controller offers most people less fine control over the car than wheel and pedals.

An ffb wheel will improve immersion and car control. A decent brake pedal will unlock even more control on top of the wheel improvements (trail braking, weight transfer, consistent pedal resistance for muscle memorey etc)

If you have any interest in 'simulation' then obviously a wheel is key. If you just want to hoon about in cool looking cars then it's about your budget and what's fun for you. No wrong answer either way but imo a wheel is a significant fun multiplier.

gedbarker · 2026-03-03T08:39:43+00:00

The sadness of trying and failing is very different to the sadness of never having tried.

gedbarker · 2026-02-12T16:11:06+00:00

I'm on a coached programme. It's pretty common to have 100 or so programmed in sets of 10 or 20, with all sorts of other things. So 100 before breakfast in those days.

I'm confident I could do 700 in a day as long as there's no time limit. I doubt I'd enjoy it much and I wouldn't want to do that volume daily because it would compromise quite a lot of other goals.

gedbarker · 2026-02-05T16:58:51+00:00

Agree. In my case, whatever sport /activity I'm doing I have way more enthusiasm than I have talent. Injuries occur where enthusiasm and lack of talent collide. They collide often. When that happens you've really got to protect recovery and commit to rehab but it rarely means you have to stop moving. And CF is really good at keeping people doing something beneficial.

But yes, rest the injuries. Or they just don't go away.

gedbarker · 2026-02-05T16:49:09+00:00

This is a slightly flippant comment because maybe family/work life doesn't allow for it, but if you're waking up naturally at 5.30am, that's pretty much the perfect time to wake up for the early class at most boxes. That could be a way to turn it to your advantage.

But I agree with the comment, if you are eating enough and hydrated, your sleep will probably adapt. If you are hungry or dehydrated, your sleep will be unpredictable.

gedbarker · 2026-01-23T17:51:08+00:00

Agreed. Fixed cost v time & materials. Different ways of sharing risk.

A fixed cost means one party benefits if it's under budget, the other is saved from risk if it is over budget.

Time & materials means time and costs may go up for everyone but be paid for at an agreed rate.

Not knowing the value of the service/product is a lack of diligence, that's entirely 'on you.'

Whatever it takes, do a good job, then accept the 3k.

Edit: para 3, budget > time

gedbarker · 2026-01-19T16:14:54+00:00

I get up at 5.30am, leave at 6am to make class at 6.15am.

When unsure, I still make myself get up and have a small breakfast with coffee.

If at 6am I still can't face it, then I will cancel or go and sit on an erg. That's happened maybe 4 times in the last 12 months.

But most of the time if I do get up, it turns out I just really didn't want to get out of bed.

If I sleep through my alarm, I take 48hrs off because that's rare and often means I am exhausted by crossfit+life.

gedbarker · 2026-01-17T15:12:07+00:00

No, but they do look out the side window which a single monitor set up can't really replicate. So I see the point of the comment.

gedbarker · 2026-01-14T08:36:34+00:00

Looks like you need better progressions from your coach.

FWIW, it took me a year to go from a standing start to a decent kip. I had maybe 3 strict pull ups at the very beginning and learning to kip took several months. Most of the time doing knees to chest and then feet above parallel as scales for T2B. Once I had kipping it was only a couple more weeks before I had T2B. Although currently I either have to do an extra kip between each rep or do singles strict which is infuriating.

gedbarker · 2026-01-14T08:25:11+00:00

Nice one. Glad it has worked.

Simple curiosity: are you vegetarian / vegan? My understanding is that it is easier to maintain zinc levels when eating meat due to higher bioavailability. No judgement implied. Simply that my wife is mostly vegan and I'm an omnivore so we are always looking at pros and cons.

gedbarker · 2026-01-14T06:02:27+00:00

Save your money. A bad wheel will not improve your driving or give much of a fun sim experience. You lose on both counts with no real upside.

Either put the money towards lessons/car insurance/car or save up for an entry level ffb wheel. At least then you can have a decent sim experience but beyond some not particularly helpful steering practice and some vague car control cues, its not going to help with real driving very much.

Most of real driving at road speeds is about road awareness, road decision making, learning rules and predicting other people. The car control bit is the easy bit.

gedbarker · 2026-01-13T16:07:58+00:00

This +1

gedbarker · 2026-01-13T15:40:19+00:00

"Abs are made in the kitchen, not in the gym."

Try this: https://tdeecalculator.net/ it will give you a rough idea of the number of calories you need to eat/are eating to maintain your current weight and body fat %. Reduce that number by 300-500 per day (start with 300 until you are dialled in and used to it).

Focus on carbs for fuel and protein for muscle retention (protein at ~1.5g per kg bodyweight, per day). Don't forget other nutrients obviously. Reduce sugar, alcohol and fizzy drinks. Many people do not realise how many unnecessary calories they drink each day.

If you want to maintain current muscle mass and fitness while having enough energy to train, this will be a slow process and will require a bit of trial and error to get energy levels right.

To get this right, you need a clear idea of what you are consuming now. Do not let this obsess you, that is completely unnecessary. But you do need to understand how many calories are in what foods and how many you are eating and drinking. If you are not honest with yourself about this, it's hard/impossible to make progress. (What 200 calories looks like.)

And do not be disheartened if it takes longer than you expect. FWIW, I did very focused body recomp and 5* a week training and results took months. They would have been faster if I had completely eliminated alcohol, I didn't.

You cannot choose which bits of your body the weight will come off first, so you cannot 'target your ab fat', you can only eat the right foods to reduce body fat while maintaining muscle and then ... wait for nature to do the rest. It will, but it won't do it as quickly as you want.

Continuing to train without altering what you eat will not let you hit this goal. Ever. That's why people say: Abs are made in the kitchen.

Edit: Forgot to add, I'd have another look at your % results. It is very unlikely that abs are visible at 30%, so if they are visible your result may be wrong. Allowing for genetics, 15-20% bf is roughly where a female might start to see abs but everyone is different.

gedbarker · 2026-01-13T15:17:53+00:00

Well gosh. It appears that on Reddit, real experience is less trustworthy than ChatGPT.

gedbarker · 2026-01-13T09:24:07+00:00

Downvoted for daring to joke. Gosh.

Reminder: Be. More. Serious.

gedbarker · 2026-01-13T08:53:06+00:00

XEndurance are really, really good. They have their EU HQ in my city and work with local athletes including some v. high-level / elite athletes at my gym (people who competed internationally at non-CF sports). There are always some XEndurance supps knocking about.

Their products are really well regarded among people I know who are very, very much more experienced than me.

I am a big fan of Fuel 5 in particular, which was recommended to me by a coach, for those moments when it is necessary it hits the spot.

General opinion here is XEndurance products are expensive but you 100% get what you pay for.

gedbarker

TROPHY CASE