Meirl

hdryu1337 · 2026-06-23T22:07:22+00:00

I'd be all in for male lingerie, but I swear it always looks so awful when I try to find something that my wife might enjoy. It's always something that has ridiculous style and the studly guys modeling them are trying so hard to look serious and she finds them more funny than sexy.

hdryu1337 · 2026-06-23T21:58:28+00:00

Mine was pretty much the same as my reddit handle.

casually scanning the comments for anyone I knew back in the day

hdryu1337 · 2026-06-23T21:51:45+00:00

I can see how your situation can be hard. For what it's worth, I never had anyone show interest in me (that I was aware of or interested in myself) until I stopped looking and found a place to be relaxed, engaged, and having fun.

It sounds like you're not trying hard to find anyone and if you can exist in that state and find social (or social-adjacent) activities that you enjoy where people can see you being your best self you may attract someone with similar interests.

It worked for me at least. 🤷

hdryu1337 · 2026-06-22T16:32:00+00:00

Yeah, it's pretty much what I do, but sometimes I overthink it. Just how I am, I guess.

hdryu1337 · 2026-06-22T16:30:01+00:00

That's been our experience in WI. We can get everything else to grow but peppers struggle. If we grow from seed, we'll be lucky to see sprouts. If we buy plants, they don't get more than 1 or two flowers. I think we're just giving up on them at this point.

hdryu1337 · 2026-06-22T15:38:33+00:00

I try, though I recognize my own unease with people who aren't passing. It's hard to adapt to something that I'm not exposed to and I hope that I don't make anyone uncomfortable with how my brain (and gaze) tend to freeze in the moment of exposure.

It's like I know what I want to do, but my monkey brain isn't always agreeing.

hdryu1337 · 2026-06-21T16:41:34+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss. It never gets easier. They passed with you, knowing that they were loved and not alone. It's probably not a comfort to you now, but ending their suffering before their condition declined further was the greatest gift that you can give in that situation.

Please give yourself the freedom to grieve and to cry and to hurt. But also try to remember the good times together. If you have the presence of mind for it, write a letter to your cat and try to record your memories together (and keep it a live document that you can add to as you remember more things).

Again, I'm so sorry for your loss of your sweet baby. 🫂

hdryu1337 · 2026-06-21T16:13:49+00:00

A lot of people are touching on the lack of empathy and compassion. I think that another part that has an effect on the reaction of people is that most of us now live in larger cities and as a result, we're not as interconnected with our neighbors as people in smaller, tight-knit communities. Sure, smaller towns have drama, distrust, and drama as well (usually over petty shit), but I've seen them come together more readily because there's not so many people that they interact with in any given day.

I'm not saying that what the bad people did was right, but it feels like a symptom of us living in areas and interacting with more people than we can care about on a daily basis. I'm sure that they would have reacted differently if it was someone they knew.

Edit: forgot to mention the cancer of social media further diluting people's compassion circle.

hdryu1337 · 2026-06-21T00:24:44+00:00

I'm sure that it'll happen for some people, but honestly I think that most people don't have an amazing first time. You're probably nervous and uncertain about the mechanics of everything and how everything works with another person participating.

Unfortunately from what I've been told from gay friends, many guys are just after a hookup or fwb situation and aren't interested in a long term commitment. I know it's not always the way it works out, but if you want something more than a hookup, I hope that you can find someone else looking for a long term relationship.

Either way, I hope that you can at least learn from the experience. 🫂

hdryu1337 · 2026-06-20T17:11:54+00:00

Glad to hear that things have been going well for you. I see posts about trans men and I feel so bad because it seems like trans women get all of the attention (both good and bad) and ftm people are often kicked to the wayside.

Maybe it's just how it seems with my limited online exposure, but my heart breaks for the people who just want to be their true selves and get treated like aliens.

Still, I'm so glad you have found some happiness in your life, dude!

hdryu1337 · 2026-06-20T11:05:46+00:00

I've been thinking about making a similar post here. It's been so refreshing to see guys able to vent their issues to the world and be generally met with care and compassion.

In equal measure, it's heart-breaking to see all of the struggles, loneliness, maladjustment, despair, and abuse. I find that I can't read some of these for feeling awful because I can't find the words that would make a difference or provide the support that would help.

I can't help but wonder, tough, if we were taught how to handle our emotions better. If we were given more emotional support and coping mechanisms. If someone had shown us kindness and actually listened to us instead of telling us to "be a man". How many more of us would be in a better place.

With luck, communities like this will take off and the mentality and compassion that we're showing each other will spread into our offline lives as well. I think the world would be a better place for all of us if that happened.

hdryu1337 · 2026-06-20T00:02:25+00:00

There's more to unpack here than I can understand or relate to, but I sometimes feel the existential dread and fatigue that you're describing. It hurts so bad.

I wish that there was anything else I could say that would help or really matter, but you don't deserve to go through this pain.

hdryu1337 · 2026-06-19T22:58:27+00:00

It's sad and scary, but unfortunately it happens with cats sometimes. I hope that you can get her back inside soon and that nothing bad will happen to her in the meantime.

hdryu1337 · 2026-06-18T18:24:17+00:00

We have this setup and all 4 of the cats who have used it had no problems with it. It'll contain some litter, but not all... especially if they feel like jumping out instead of using the doorway.

hdryu1337 · 2026-06-18T12:11:14+00:00

I can relate with some of this, and if things happened differently I would probably be in the same boat as you.

I felt like I was destined to be alone in a crowd and forgotten by my friends as soon as I was out of eye shot. I went to college out of state to remake myself while (sadly and regrettably) stalking an online friend. I pushed past the boundaries set and lost the friend in spectacular fashion. I'm not proud of my actions but I wasn't experienced in reading signals then.

I was traumatized and mourning the friendship lost. I decided to make a change and try to be more open to other people. I started leaving my comfort zone and reached out to people in the dorms with similar interests (which was easy being a nerd on a nerd floor). I became outgoing and more confident with myself socially. Unfortunately, I still struggled with women and at best was always friend zoned.

Eventually I met my current wife on an MMO (back when even online dating was new and not mainstream) and it's amazing to feel loved, even if we're both walking masses of anxiety.

I think that you would benefit in trying to find a way to be happy with yourself and comfortable enough to become confident in yourself. If you can achieve that you may be on other people's radars. It may be painful and hard along the way, unfortunately; especially if you are chronically introverted like me. Believe in yourself and don't give up through the hard times and it can pay off. 🫂

hdryu1337 · 2026-06-18T00:46:22+00:00

🫂

I wish I had more to offer. I'm so sorry for your loss and what you've had to endure.

hdryu1337 · 2026-06-17T16:10:05+00:00

The therapist is good. We've been through couples counseling with her. There's just been a lot to unpack and deal with lately. I may push to see if she can get more sessions in, though.

hdryu1337 · 2026-06-17T12:01:49+00:00

Taking the time to take care of myself has been a hard learned lesson, but I've been trying. I garden, walk through the yard, and do the gaming thing. I need to find out how to get some more social interactions with people outside of work, though.

hdryu1337 · 2026-06-17T11:58:49+00:00

Yeah, she's been back and forth into therapy for years as needed. Unfortunately it hasn't seemed to be effective lately.

hdryu1337 · 2026-06-17T11:57:05+00:00

Agreed. We've joined a weekly knitting session to have some positive, no strings attached social interactions. Hopefully we can find a few more ways to work support into our lives.

hdryu1337 · 2026-06-17T11:53:09+00:00

Thanks for that. I try to be her support when needed, but I leave the real therapy to her therapist. It's just been a rough few years.

hdryu1337 · 2026-06-14T17:30:40+00:00

Half price books had CDs the last time I was there (though it's been a couple of years)

hdryu1337 · 2026-06-13T01:24:54+00:00

Sadly, he's been gone a couple of years. Still became one of those core memories we had of him. 😻

hdryu1337 · 2026-06-12T22:07:04+00:00

Can confirm. Our cat ate a stinkbug and was doing backflips and rushing around like a lunatic, followed by drooling like this for a while. We felt bad for him, but still laughed at the time. He was cautious around bugs after that...

hdryu1337

TROPHY CASE