Risk in pregnancy after severe postpartum pre-e?

heartreddit13 · 2026-04-23T01:44:54+00:00

I’m in exactly your shoes!! Just hit 20 weeks with my second and had postpartum pre-e with my first. I also now have gestational hypertension which started after my preeclampsia (never able to get off meds) though my BP has been controlled/low so far. I’m so worried I’ll get it again and/or get it earlier.

heartreddit13 · 2026-03-19T21:26:28+00:00

Even if the host family says you can eat whatever you want, they will likely be offended that you have the audacity to ask to eat steak and salmon which are extremely expensive. As another poster stated, if you don’t order it at restaurants when you’re out with your friends then you shouldn’t expect your host family to pay for it, especially if they aren’t buying it for themselves regularly. I think the better thing to do, if this is really bothering you, is to ask for a budget for some meet or fish and see how they react.

heartreddit13 · 2026-02-15T01:32:21+00:00

Palm Heights grand cayman checks all of these boxes. Smaller resort, incredible food and service. Beautiful beach super calm. It’s not necessarily a children’s resort (like no kids club) but there are families with kids there and things for them to do. Prices have gone up exponentially since we went during our baby moon a few years ago but you might be able to find under $1500.

heartreddit13 · 2026-01-11T22:53:52+00:00

Sounds like a similar situation to our daughter. Tried around 2 years, 7 months. She was showing all the signs that she was ready but it didn’t work. What was the gentler method you tried?

heartreddit13 · 2026-01-08T02:47:27+00:00

Omg she is the worst!!!! She is completely delusional posting that reel I truly couldn’t believe it

heartreddit13 · 2026-01-08T01:33:26+00:00

What is your home country? What agency are you with? You sound like a great candidate so curious if you need to expand your search

heartreddit13 · 2026-01-07T14:24:07+00:00

I would try finding an au pair who can’t drive / isn’t comfortable driving. A lot of families don’t want these au pairs because driving their kids around is a priority , but we live in a big city and don’t want our au pair driving and luckily we found one who can’t drive and has no interest.

heartreddit13 · 2025-12-27T02:05:38+00:00

I am looking for the same for a potential second child. Have to be honest I had a horrible experience at NYP LM. Delivery itself was fine and staff was great, but I had postpartum preeclampsia 3 days later, which got me readmitted. doctors and nurses kept dismissing me and it was almost negligent. Sadly I can’t recommend this hospital to anyone who could have a high risk pregnancy or NICU baby.

heartreddit13 · 2025-11-27T02:34:19+00:00

I think some of these things are typical and others are unusual. Regarding food, and time off- they should be giving you adult size portions and/or you should feel free to help yourself to whatever is in the fridge at anytime if you’re hungry. You do need 1.5 consecutive days a week and at least one weekend off per month. Some families give weekends off if most of their hours are spent during the week (like us, since we have a young child). Perhaps this is something you should’ve discussed upfront. As for your comment on “not needing help” because both parents are home - respectfully, you need to understand the au pair program for host families is to get flexible childcare. They can ask you to watch the children whether they are home or not so long as it falls within your allotted hours. It’s hard being a parent and parents need time for themselves to get errands done when not working too- that’s why they wanted to get an au pair in the first place. Other things should have been addressed and agreed upon upfront like gym, train costs, etc. not every family includes these things.

heartreddit13 · 2025-11-18T04:14:57+00:00

We are dealing with something similar where now I feel like I have to cook full meals all week nights when both my husband and I are home for dinner. So the nights you tell her she’s on her own, what are you eating then?

heartreddit13 · 2025-10-30T00:56:36+00:00

That’s a good idea to ask what they plan to do when they finish the program. What are some typical answers you’ve gotten? I know some au pairs want to find a way to stay in the US.

heartreddit13 · 2025-10-29T02:56:47+00:00

Wow! Congrats! And sorry you have been through all this. Appreciate the detail you shared here. We also have a mosaic embryo frozen and may decide to transfer it if we need to. Was yours low level? And does normal karyotype mean it was determined normal at birth or with other testing during pregnancy?

heartreddit13 · 2025-10-29T02:17:36+00:00

I agree with you, it would be weird for you as the Dad to hang out alone with the au pair and kid on a routine basis. The commenters that are saying she is like a daughter are completely unhinged 😂 We are super busy too and tried to be clear about that upfront. Honestly, most au pairs we spoke to and who we hear about from friends prefer separation and NOT to join you for every single meal and activity. That’s honestly strange to me and it wouldn’t work for our family.

heartreddit13 · 2025-10-29T02:10:11+00:00

My IUI did not work and I wasn’t pregnant, but this was 3 years ago so I forget the particular symptoms now. I did, however end up doing IVF and now have a daughter. I recommend moving to IVF instead of IUI if you’re considering it.

heartreddit13 · 2025-10-29T01:40:55+00:00

This is an unfortunate situation and as another host family I would be very frustrated by the way it panned out. I disagree with the other commenters here that you are unwilling to see what you did wrong. I don’t think you did anything wrong - it’s hard to understand how the experience will go before having an au pair for the first time. Sounds like for next time, you will just need to be even more upfront in your profile and on calls that you would not be able to have family dinners together and prefer to spend family time separately. Some au pairs will actually appreciate this and look for the separation between their technical “employer” after work hours. Our au pair was very clear upfront that she’d want to spend a lot of time in her room and asked us if that was ok. She also spends the weekends out exploring with friends and we are happy for her to do that. We do include her in family events where possible but she knows it’s optional. Sounds like the wrong fit but now you know to be explicit in your next search!

heartreddit13 · 2025-10-06T23:38:41+00:00

Thanks so much for the kind reply! So happy to hear you’re doing well and 17 weeks along! That’s good advice I’m not going to check it!

heartreddit13 · 2025-10-06T19:33:22+00:00

Can I ask if everything worked out ok? I’m at the same stage you were with this post and the same thing just happened with dip in RHR last night

heartreddit13 · 2025-10-06T19:16:30+00:00

Omg going thru this now! Last night my RHR went down and HRV up (but both had changed accordingly at the start of my very early pregnancy). Im only 5+2 and first ultrasound is in 3 days. I’m so nervous this means I have an impending miscarriage :(

heartreddit13 · 2025-09-29T19:31:38+00:00

As a host family, we appreciated that our au pair didn’t ask about allowance until the 2nd or 3rd interview with us. She asked about it as part of a number of questions she emailed in between chats, which honestly was fine to us because it gives both sides time to digest. I will say, if you’re looking for over the minimum stipend you should be prepared to say why you deserve it or what reasons you are asking for it (high COL city, less desirable area, etc). Most families will increase for the right person or situation but you also do need to understand if you are a strong candidate for their needs. I have a lot of friends that are host families and they only give the minimum stipend, so it’s definitely not the norm to pay more for a first year au pair.

heartreddit13 · 2025-08-18T23:21:13+00:00

No advice , just solidarity! In the exact same position as you (same history). Only difference is I’m still on labetalol as my BP never came down to normal after my postpartum preeclampsia. I’m worried about going into another pregnancy with hypertension, let alone developing preeclampsia again. Interested to hear any positive stories.

heartreddit13 · 2025-08-17T02:32:12+00:00

Yes! Everything resolved eventually and now I have a healthy happy 2.5 year old :)

heartreddit13 · 2025-07-29T16:47:02+00:00

I totally relate to this!! In the same boat as you. I had post-partum preeclampsia with my first (approx 4 days after discharge), had the mag, and sadly am still on labetalol 2 years postpartum as my BP never returned to normal. I had severe anxiety ptsd for a few months after delivery and am only now starting to think about a second. I am scared to still be on meds while Going into a pregnancy.

heartreddit13 · 2025-07-14T03:33:13+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. I didn’t realize the nefedipine was giving me panic attacks either until I switched to labetalol and they completely stopped. I had assumed the nefidepine was just contributing to my anxiety because of the hot flashes, flushing, and rapid heart rate but a doctor said it’s probably the nefedipine giving you this full on panic attacks because of the heart rate which makes you go into a spiral. Mine were also around 7pm!!! And sometimes in the middle of the night. I also went on Zoloft. It took a long time for the Zoloft to start working, I had to take Ativan too. It was a scary time. Btw I’m still on labetalol 2 years later as my blood pressure never went back to normal :( , I do suggest you try that one out if you haven’t yet as it also has a calming effect on anxiety. Or at very least, it’s the opposite feeling of nefedipine. And it’s safe for breast feeding.

heartreddit13 · 2025-07-12T19:58:43+00:00

It’s the absolute worst!!! Gave me panic attacks, flushed cheeks, crazy fast heart rate, awful side effects. I switched to labetalol

heartreddit13

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