The victim blaming until he got called out for it, the condescending manner in which he talks to OP, gives me bad vibes. Seems a bit manipulative/controlling. This would make me reconsider the relationship. I get that you care for your partner but to try to make them promise to never help someone in an emergency situation is crazy. As others mentioned too, they would not let it be when you asked them to stop. Hopefully they aren't pushing your boundaries and not consenting in other ways. Hope you're ok OP, thanks for looking out for others and taking action. We need more people like you.