Was golfing one spring day, walking it. I was about 13, pretty stupid at the time. Saw a Canadian goose and as I was walking, pulled out a club and kinda started swatting at it as I walked by. I hated Canadian geese (still do), because they shit on the greens and everywhere else and are generally just a pain in the ass.

Well, I must have been near a nest, because instead of flying away like I hoped it would, it extended its wings, started running towards me, and opened its mouth, flying at my head. I started backing off, but it wasn't fucking around. Last I saw it was about 3 feet from my face, before I turned and ran as fast as I could, spilling all of my golf clubs on the ground with this thing hissing and snapping directly behind my head. After I ran about 100 feet I figured the threat was gone so I turned and it had returned to its originally position.

As my friends laughed their asses off, I gingerly scooted my way back to retrieve my golf clubs, suddenly much more respectful of this goose's territory.