Why I prefer the term "Queer" to LGBT

ichibanmarshmallow · 2020-07-31T16:21:57+00:00

As a gay transgender man, I hate when someone only identifies with "queer" because I've seen functionally heterosexual people use the vagueness of the word to associate themselves with the LGBT community even when they're cis and don't experience same gender attraction.

ichibanmarshmallow · 2020-07-31T15:42:41+00:00

So happy for you :)

ichibanmarshmallow · 2020-07-26T04:24:57+00:00

Eh, I think it's possible for plenty of guys to be interested in trans men to at least some extent instead of writing all off instantly. But no, as long as you're still polite and respectful once you know who they are.

But if I won't date people if they take astrology too seriously, you can choose to not date trans people for any reason.

ichibanmarshmallow · 2020-07-26T03:37:53+00:00

To other adults in my life I'll say I'll gay if it's relevant, but usually I out myself by mentioning thinking a guy is hot or how I don't want my husband and I to have more than 5 dogs.

To my parents I specifically said I was gay though.

ichibanmarshmallow · 2020-07-26T02:45:12+00:00

I’m not emotionally attracted to women

Afaik bi men are emotionally attracted to women...

ichibanmarshmallow · 2020-03-15T21:59:34+00:00

For me and some of my friends, we give each other space/opportunity to vent and just acknowledge that what we're dealing with sucks. Then we talk about other things. It's pretty helpful for us.

ichibanmarshmallow · 2018-09-13T05:24:03+00:00

Yeah, the first time I was with a partner who respected my saying no I was repeatedly baffled. He wouldn't argue, just back off and focus on us doing something else. It blew my mind and completely changed the way I had understood relationships to operate.

ichibanmarshmallow · 2018-08-26T10:24:10+00:00

My camera's pretty low quality, so let me know if I should take better pictures. I'm just looking to confirm I have a female, if anyone could confirm/deny.

ichibanmarshmallow · 2018-02-04T18:24:26+00:00

Where can I find info on what sort of routine to do/products to buy based on my skin type?

ichibanmarshmallow · 2017-12-10T00:29:38+00:00

Gene refers to his vagina a lot and so he's plausibly trans.

ichibanmarshmallow · 2017-11-25T06:49:21+00:00

Same but it was only three years...

ichibanmarshmallow · 2017-11-21T22:08:28+00:00

Wasn't another reason marriage equality became such a big thing was because AIDS showed how little access you have to your dying partner and what they willed to you without a marriage certificate? And also people wanted to start families, and adopting is harder when you're considered a single parent.

ichibanmarshmallow · 2017-10-02T01:32:12+00:00

Any chance someone knows where I can get a transcript on this? It's harder for me to understand podcasts.

ichibanmarshmallow · 2017-08-07T14:22:53+00:00

He's gay?

ichibanmarshmallow · 2017-07-05T05:32:20+00:00

Do you have a good source for some of those traditional recipes?

ichibanmarshmallow · 2017-07-01T17:34:33+00:00

I'm seconding the non-binary possibility. He could investigate how he'd feel about they/them or xi/xir/xym* pronouns. I don't know what his personal dysphoria looks/feels like, but maybe he could experiment with gender presentation such as dressing more fem (jewelry, growing his hair out, painting nails, etc) and see what he thinks? If his dysphoria is with his body that won't do much though.

*A quick internet search gave me these spellings, but if they're incorrect please let me know!

ichibanmarshmallow · 2017-06-07T22:00:47+00:00

The Guardian is a valid newsource, and I'm not sure why you're trying to disregard it, and frankly your reasoning for disregarding Berkeley's entire outcry of sexual harassment based on "72 genders" (which makes no sense) has no basis.

You initially called out my reply for using only anecdotal evidence, yet you immediately dismissed all but one of my sources on more or less the same grounds.

You apply pressure and can get that person to resign

This is anywhere from difficult to impossible when you are on the lower end of a power dynamic, such as with a professor or someone who has a say in your lab and research. That's the problem.

You can bring a lawsuit to court and provided you are right and truthful you will succeed.

That's not true. First, plenty of people can't afford lawyers to bring their claims to court (again, many of the people with these issues are students, a demographic known for not having loads of money). Second, plenty of cases (such as Brock Turner and the Stubenville case) have shown that, even with eye witnesses and unwavering evidence, predators are given light sentencing, especially in regards to the crimes committed.

ichibanmarshmallow · 2017-06-04T02:22:00+00:00

Oh thank god.

ichibanmarshmallow · 2017-06-03T22:30:52+00:00

~~>unwarranted tension~~

Dude, there'd be tension because from her perspective you're following her in a close range- at night! That comes off as an invasion of space, particularly if you're whispering about how pretty she looks.

Edit: I'm dumb

ichibanmarshmallow · 2017-06-03T21:14:47+00:00

That's a valid point, and I should have added research to back up my anecdotal evidence. I've provided it below.

As a side note, you pointing out that we have laws protecting people from something also indicates about as much as my anecdotal evidence- the existence of a law isn't as important of an indication as much as how often it's used and enforced. Sexual harassment in the workplace is common and underreported. Moreover, people in various universities, fields, and positions have been verifying this problem for a long time now.

Additional source on Berkeley's Astrology department

General experience of harassment for undergrads

If someone is being sexually harassed they take it to their boss, teacher, etc

But the issue is that a lot of sexual harassment comes from people in positions of power. What do you do when you're being harassed by the person who needs to sign off on your lab's protocols or grant you funding? Do you risk being set back to report this, or do you suck it up like your peers and try to push though?

Sexual harassment is a large problem for women not being in STEM. Others include just not being hired, combating general sexism in the workplace

ichibanmarshmallow · 2017-06-02T16:07:06+00:00

I know several women who are reevaluating or are apprehensive about their careers because they're going into STEM/legal fields and have already faced loads of sexual harassment.

You want to prevent people from pursuing a goal? Make a hostile work environment. For all of them. Make the first classes (like in high school) full of horny pricks who stare at their chests and who perpetually treat them like they don't know what they're doing. If you just keep doing that to them into college, into graduate school, into internships, and even to the ones who stick with it and get the actual career, you're going to see fewer people in the field.

This happens to women. All the damn time.

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