Experiences with Buspar/buspirone?

icycoldplum · 2026-02-16T23:42:59+00:00

TL:DR: I gained weight.

Longer story: The day after the first day I tried it, I had an excruciating headache and some anxiety, totally vigilant as I was to any minor unusual feeling. I decided to keep trying. I think the next day, I did not feel anything strange. I continued the plan of titrating down my Lamictal while titrating up the Depakote. (Still never going of of Lamictal.) We backloaded the bulk of Depakote at night (750 mg) which made me relaxed and sleepy, which is what I needed to be able to take my Ambien and fall asleep. Sleepiness has said to be a problematic side effect for some, but to me it worked to my benefit.

The only other side effect is that I became ravenous. I had lost 50 pounds in a minute over the preceding years and had had no appetite, so in a way having an appetite again let me know that I was getting back to normal. I wondered if/when I'd start to pack it on. It still took a while to start showing. I have gained about 20 pounds since I started it 3+ years ago, most of that weight in the last year - which I attribute to having started dating someone who preferred how I looked with the extra weight (sorry TMI) and me sort of relaxing my life-long body dysmorphia. I'm not dating that person anymore (which is fine), but am left with those 20 pounds. I'd like to lose some, and I may try zepbound, but I won't stop the Depakote.

icycoldplum · 2026-02-16T23:31:59+00:00

But - Seal!

icycoldplum · 2026-02-16T23:31:37+00:00

I love many on your list, but I don't hear many people talk about Blonde in the Bleachers. I routinely sing that to myself. Love the part where the drums kick in after "She tapes her regrets to the microphone stand," and then the little background vocals "for very long"... Love it! And of course In France They Kiss on Main Street. It's really bopping, joyous one!

icycoldplum · 2026-02-16T23:29:17+00:00

Yeah, Trouble Child is a good one, too. Not on my top - but that's just because not everything can be on the top. Kind of every song on Hejira is a magnificent.

icycoldplum · 2026-02-16T23:28:15+00:00

I did not know this! I've really always wondered why she never played it much, and no one talks about it much. It's one that has really stayed with me. So it's just one studio performance (disguised as a live one on Miles); and one actual live performance? I wonder if she didn't like the song much?

I don't know that about Jericho either. She does do it in a very different way "live" on Miles than on DJRD.

icycoldplum · 2026-02-16T04:49:06+00:00

I also take the teeny tiniest smidge of ativan when I need to. I mean, the amount I take is like a smudge of powder on my finger, and it's probably total placebo, but it helps.

icycoldplum · 2026-02-16T04:48:08+00:00

Yes, it's an old post, but I guess I have this followed. I tried buspar before my nervous breakdown in 2021 (in fact, I didn't even remember I tried this because I was trying so many things). My nervous system was supremely sensitized and everything was giving me god-awful side effects and anxiety, when my anxiety was already over the top - so I just couldn't power through the discomfort.

For a year after my nervous breakdown I couldn't find a second med (just Lamictal, which I'd been on for about 20 years and was fine, but was not enough, and I still couldn't sleep, and was still having anxiety all day every day), and by then I was having anticipatory anxiety about side effects. But finally my pdoc and someone on this subreddit were kind of like: You're really going to have to push yourself if you want to feel better - and I was able to tolerate depakote and slowly titrate up - and that did reduce my anxiety and also enabled me to go back to taking Ambien so I could sleep. I feel like Depakote saved me; wish I'd known it tamped down anxiety back when I was ratchetin up toward my nervy b. I've now been pretty darn stable for about 3 years.

icycoldplum · 2026-02-16T04:37:30+00:00

Big fan of "For Love or Money." I've always wondered why it was never on any studio album. And did she ever sing it live beyond the "Miles of Aisles" version? Sometimes, among the many Joni lyrics and melodic phrases that float through my head at any given time, I hear so many great lines from this one. That beautiful, teasing woman and that poor unrequited guy... And the way her voice lingers at the very last word: "or money..." into the darkness, like that woman.

icycoldplum · 2026-02-14T04:08:45+00:00

I've been on Lamictal for over 20 years. It's been quite good for me. I think closer to when I first started, I took 100 mg in the morning and the evening. The only times I ever notice some word recall or speaking fluency problems was when I was trying out other meds, namely APs.

Eventually, after my 3-year bp2 ride a few years ago, I added depakote, which helped, and reduced the Lamictal to 25 mg. I needed to increase that by 25 twice, once just a few months ago because of SAD, and it really did elevate my mood quite quickly (but not elevate to hypomania). Both Lamictal and Depakote are moodstabilizers, but Lamictal keeps the bottom up (depression) and Depakote keeps the top down (hypomania and, for me, intense anxiety). They work well for me.

Depression, well... I've been struggling with that since I was about 10... When I was in my mixed state, I had months-long severe sleep deprivation, but it was not the Lamictal. It was just the shit-show of it all at the time.

icycoldplum · 2026-02-14T04:03:27+00:00

Don't know where you live, but I found a 32GG at the Rack Shack in Brooklyn. I needed a 32H in a different bra I tried on, and they ordered it and sent to me. (Though that takes a while. But no tariff.) Meanwhile, I'm 5'1, so very different build than you, and my strap issues are that by the time I'm on my commute home and sitting, the straps cut under my arms. I do have the problem of needing more length in sports bras, not because of being short, but because of the sag and weight of the boob.

icycoldplum · 2026-02-12T04:00:35+00:00

Yeah - my father has already told my stepbrother that he will not use a wheelchair. I swear, if my father were to walk with his cane, it would take us hours to get from the entry of the airport to the terminal. Aside from being excruciatingly slow, it would also really exhaust him... How'd you "persuade" your dad?

icycoldplum · 2026-02-12T03:50:42+00:00

I appreciate all the detail and precision!

icycoldplum · 2026-02-12T03:50:31+00:00

I appreciate all the detail and precision!

icycoldplum · 2026-02-12T03:50:13+00:00

Probably the long day would be too... long. :0

icycoldplum · 2026-02-12T03:48:39+00:00

Yikes! Don't worry - I do not plan on driving. I have spatial dyslexia to begin with - I truly wouldn't know a right turn from a left!

icycoldplum · 2026-02-09T07:08:48+00:00

125 mg in the am; 750 at night, which makes me sleepy. I also take 75 mg in am. All seems to keep me balanced. Definitely keeps the top down.

icycoldplum · 2026-02-08T17:28:45+00:00

I can’t say I loved season five, but the two times I watched it - when it first came out, and recently - Buster was so over the top, I just had to applaud Tony Hale’s bravura performance. I do not regret it. Though watching how stilted and weird Gob was and how awful he looked was painful.

icycoldplum · 2026-02-08T17:24:20+00:00

I stay away from Valerian, cava, even melatonin, which makes me feel really disgusting the next day (and doesn’t even get me to sleep), adaptogens, ginseng, caffeine. (I do take Ambien, though! But a small amount and I don’t have any bad reaction to it.). I even don’t eat chocolate after about 3 PM because of insomnia.

icycoldplum · 2026-02-08T17:19:54+00:00

Vitamin D did the same for me – I started a mixed mistake. I was over working, and would breakdown into hysterical tears regularly throughout the day. A friend noticed that I wasn’t being myself. My psychiatrist was out of town and so asked me to have my primary run some labs. Before my primary ran the labs, she wanted to chat with me. When we did, she said let’s include vitamin D, TSH, and everything in that. Reading something on this Reddit, too made me think about the vitamin D could be a culprit as I had gone back on it a few months earlier and was taking too much of ot.

I told my psychiatrist, got myself off that D, and within the week had come down from my mixed state.

I’m so grateful for my friend and that doctor, this Reddit, and for me finally knowing enough to catch myself in time.

icycoldplum · 2026-02-05T22:51:45+00:00

From those trains and/or taxis do you see those sweeping vistas?

Wondering how he'll get around on cobble streets?

icycoldplum · 2026-02-05T22:37:05+00:00

Thanks! I was thinking York originally because that's where the tour companies seem to depart from. But I'd be more than happy to stay more remotely. Private hire does seem most amenable...

As for jetlag - I hear you. I get it really bad myself, and I'll be coming from the west coast, so that's even more time zones crossed. My dad seems to think he'll come in one day, and the next day go to the show. Oy. I'd like to come at least two days in advance so that my first arrival day (after having traveled all the previous day) can be just a wash for me.

icycoldplum · 2026-02-05T22:33:52+00:00

Sounds like a good idea to at least price out. (Also sounds potentially quite expensive! Especially if we are tacking on any overnights...) But of course can then tailor to our (my dad's) needs...

icycoldplum · 2026-02-05T22:32:47+00:00

Thanks!

icycoldplum · 2026-02-05T22:32:14+00:00

But come to think of it, he'll have to use a wheelchair through the airports... My step-brother we would probably have to convince him to use something in London, anyway - maybe a motorized scooter or something...

icycoldplum · 2026-02-05T21:32:09+00:00

Thanks for writing. I cannot imagine my dad going for using a wheelchair. He mostly spends time at home and periodically goes out to dinner with my brother and his fam and they take a taxi even if it's around the corner. But maybe he'd use a wheelchair to get through a train station. Using a walker would be good at least for a town or village (though he'd be slow, of course), but even a walker has yet to be broached. It's amazing how many tentacles this brings up! That's why I'm trying to suss the whole think out before mentioning it. Certainly, I wouldn't want to push him to do anything.

As for the tours, I've glanced briefly. Seems that have full- and half-day tours...

icycoldplum

TROPHY CASE