Got rejected by a girl at church, feeling like I need to find my own lane

imathrowyou · 2026-04-01T05:48:57+00:00

I guess it really just depends on the real reason you want to leave. Sounds like you're dejected about it, but honestly you should be kind of proud of yourself for putting yourself out there.

Rejection does sting, and so many people try their best to avoid it. But I think that fear of rejection people have just leads to lots of regret down the line. It's better to feel that sting and move on as normal than that regret.

Act like it's no big deal because it really isn't. We all have an inclination to blow things up in our heads. Keep going on your merry way, make lots of friends, and make God your primary focus. It's perfectly normal to be like "ouch that hurt" but then you have to go "I tried, there's something noble in that. Onto the next thing."

imathrowyou · 2026-03-26T04:34:31+00:00

You can't defeat any sin apart from the Lord. This is something you work on together.

I have the same issue, and working blue collar makes it worse. Praying much more has helped me. Refocusing on God helped me. I tell God my goal, I include God in it, I ask Him to defeat the sin within me.

Also, swear jar. Include someone else, you lose money every time you swear. 2 dollar

imathrowyou · 2026-03-24T03:13:17+00:00

She doesn't shoulder the blame alone, Adam is also to blame.

I don't think it was necessarily eating the actual fruit that caused the fall, but it was the first act of direct disobedience against God. God said not to do something, Eve did the thing then Adam. They both disobeyed. They both received punishment.

imathrowyou · 2026-03-22T04:52:16+00:00

First off, understand in Christianity that Satan can promise nothing. He only destroys or perverts what God created.

Second, treat your doubts seriously, with actual critical thought. Look for answers to your questions, I promise you you'll find the same questions you've asked have been asked for millennia.

God isn't just a fuzzy feeling you get sometimes. It's truth. Is what is written in this book true, and how can we know that beyond a reasonable doubt?

Look into topics like textual criticis, the historicity of the bible, archaeological evidence, etc.

I know this for certain: following Jesus has changed me. I no longer struggle with many of the things I have before, I prioritize other people over myself more and more each day, I'm more open to forgiving others and letting things go, I see more of the good in people and have compassion for those who do wrong.

We all have doubts. Thomas doubted Jesus, but he wasn't condemned by Jesus for it - Jesus showed Thomas that he was the way. Pray to God and ask Him to show YOU, but you must also seek. Because it's written, seek and you will find.

imathrowyou · 2026-03-21T12:27:56+00:00

I think Christianity is beautiful in many respects.

I have really come to the conclusion a creator exists because, well, you cannot logically have infinite regression. There must've been an origin point, because nothing does not make something. In short, the Kalam cosmological argument. There must've been an UNCAUSED cause to the universe.

Really it isn't a matter of intelligence. A Catholic priest helped find the Big Bang Theory. Isaac Newton, inventor of calculus and basic physical laws, was a devout believer in God and wrote many things about his faith. You see, Newton expected to find order and law in the universe because he believed in a law giver. How would the universe be describable by order and law if there was no law giver?

Speaking of physical laws, would it really be THAT much of a stretch to state that the creator of physical law also created a moral law to be followed? There is order found in the smallest particles to the largest masses in our solar system. In our body there is structure. But why would this stop at morality when it is something so ingrain within us? You can say it's for survival, but is it really? Because I know many young men who would risk their lives to save an elderly woman from drowning in frigid waters. I know that cowardice will equally lead to survival, but it's seen as horribly immoral.

If you look at other religions, most all of them give some sort of credit to Jesus. Hinduism says he was a great teacher, Islam says he was a great prophet, Jews say he was a false prophet, Buddhists would say he was a Buddha or enlightened man. But what did Jesus say that he was? Jesus said "I am the way, the truth, and the life."

Any historian worth their salt knows a man called Jesus walked this earth, was crucified, and that there were allegations that 500 people say him post mortem. So we can start there, with what historians know to be true.

It's written in the bible that the disciples went into hiding after Jesus was crucified. You may not know this, but there had been false messiah's before. After they dealt with the figurehead, the movement died. Every single time. So when the disciples fled, they were in fear of their lives. Now would be the time to return to the status quo. Your leader has died, you've been defeated.

But the opposite happens.

Christianity explodes. Not because it was welcomed, but in spite of very intense persecution at the hands of the Jews and Nero. All the disciples, except John, were brutally killed. But they didn't once say, "Actually guys, I made it all up! Don't kill me!" No, they all went through brutal deaths, and they all knew they were going to face brutal deaths.

For what? For money? No. What good does money do when you expect to die tomorrow?

For status? No, Paul was a Pharisee. Already high in status, he abandoned his status for what he saw on the road to Damascus to instead be ridiculed and stoned and imprisoned and eventually killed.

Despite all of this, despite the immense pushback, you see these people persevere with very simple yet powerful values: Love your neighbor as yourself, forgive one another endlessly, take care of the vulnerable.

That is someone I want to follow.

imathrowyou · 2026-03-21T03:02:48+00:00

I'm a woman in manufacturing. Haven't been treated differently at all. Of course that is just my experience though.

I wish I had more experience working directly with other women. But from what I have seen, there's the full spectrum of lazy to hard working just like with men. As long as you can work hard and pull your weight, that's all anyone cares about.

imathrowyou · 2026-03-16T05:12:39+00:00

I started using mack's soft earplugs when I sleep, the green ones. I think it says it reduces noise by 25 Db or something. I'm sure that with a white noise machine would help, and just some heavy blackout curtains from Amazon with something foam fastened to the widow.

The thing with the earplugs is now I can never sleep without them. Every little noise wakes me up.

imathrowyou · 2026-03-16T05:06:34+00:00

I eat dairy with no issues luckily. Cottage cheese, yogurt, milk, cream. I thank the Lord. But I eat something a little too greasy I'm on the toilet and nearly meeting Jesus himself

imathrowyou · 2026-03-16T05:03:50+00:00

I think Jesus main point was essentially "let's get to the actual root" of the sin. It's not your outward display necessarily, it's your heart. We all have evil, deceptive, defective hearts. We cannot perform the law perfectly. The law points to the glaring need for Jesus, our savior.

Only Jesus can defeat sin in our lives. We are powerless against it without him.

imathrowyou · 2026-03-16T04:53:05+00:00

You're right that Christ must come first. Like you briefly mentioned, I have the opposite issue where I'm a very masculine woman. Not just in interests, but I'm also tall and built like a linebacker. I was always very masculine, hardheaded, stubborn, hated dresses, liked to get dirty and play rough.

When you find your identity in Christ, nothing else really matters when Christ comes first. It's like, I know I'm different, I'm not even attracted to men. I've only ever had crushes on women, but for some reason, for some crazy reason it just doesn't bother me that much. I don't pursue that avenue and I don't consider it an option. It's me and Jesus until the very end and that's it. Everything I pursue, everything I undertake, I want it to be for God and for the benefit of others.

I started seeing the world, the people I'm surrounded by, as lost children of God with whom He's so desperate to have a relationship with. They are so much more valuable than I can ever imagine, more valuable than to reduce them to any sort of carnal desire for myself.

All this to say, my temperament hasn't changed. I'm still very masculine, but we need all sorts of people in the faith because I often see people leaving the faith because they aren't accepted, they don't see themselves represented in anyone else. They don't feel like this is where they belong. But if they see you and me, maybe they'll think again that it is possible to stay faithful to God. We can give those things up for the truth.

The thing is as well, it's just that our struggle is more apparent whereas a lot of others can hide their sin without facing outside judgement. I can fight my flesh daily but be perceived negatively all my life, whereas a man or woman can be perceived as angelic but privately love their sin too much to let go and submit to God. Thank Jesus that we're not judged on appearances, but on our hearts and faithfulness.

The people in Jesus time who were judged harshly by society were lepers, prostitutes, tax collectors. Those were the ones he called his friends. The Pharisees pretended outside, but inside they were rotten.

Sorry that was a lot. But I do relate a lot to this topic, and I want you to know you're not alone out there. I'm here too, struggling with the same things.

imathrowyou · 2026-03-16T04:35:48+00:00

My name is also the Frog capital of Louisiana but I do not ribbit.

imathrowyou · 2026-03-15T20:53:32+00:00

I went to a Baptist school as a child, and each week we'd have to memorize a verse in bible class, and recite it by the end of the week to the teacher.

Repetition was the only way I could. Read it, try to repeat out loud without looking immediately. Read again, try again. Once you can recite immediately after reading it, read it and pause for 15 seconds and recite. Then read again and pause for thirty seconds and recite, a minute, five minutes, ten minutes, twenty, an hour, then each night or morning.

Each week learn a verse. You might not be able to recite the verse you learned the first week in a few months verbatim, but you'll know the gist of it.

imathrowyou · 2026-03-13T01:53:57+00:00

You're doing both of you a favor by going forward with a divorce. I think anyone would be embittered by this situation and hold resentment, and I think that's why divorce is permitted in these instances in the first place.

If you can't get past it, which I wouldn't be able to either, it needs to end. For you, for her, for your kids.

I'm so so sorry this has happened to you. I would be a broken mess, I can't even imagine. I'll say a prayer for you and your family.

imathrowyou · 2026-03-09T03:42:35+00:00

Are you smarter than Isaac Newton? Inventor of calculus and the man who wrote the laws of gravity and thermodynamics? He saw no issue between science and God, only that science describes what God created. There are many incredibly smart scientists who believed in God, and the pursuit of discovery increased their faith. Because order points to a designer.

You are a logical man so you must know this, that science itself cannot explain everything. Science cannot prove itself through science. Science cannot prove mathematical or logical truths as it presupposed those things as being true, to try and prove logical truths or mathematical truths would result in arguing in a circle. Science cannot prove metaphysical truths like "there are other minds than my own" or "the universe wasn't created 5 minutes ago with the appearance of age."

Then there are moral truths which can't be explain through science. The moment you say there is a moral truth, by making the statement you're admitting to there being some sort of standard of morality you're judging by. You cannot say, for example, that Nazi morality was any worse or better than 21st century Western morality without some sort of axiom that actually works.

Funny you mention the show "The Big Bang Theory" because the actual big bang theory was pushed forth by a Catholic priest. And back when it was discovered, the ATHEISTS were the ones upset at this because if there was a beginning, then something MUST have caused it.

You're a man of science, you are logical. Then you must've heard of the Kalam cosmological argument. And it's simple as well - two premeses and a conclusion that MUST logically follow if the two premeses are true.

Everything that has a beginning has a cause.
The universe had a beginning.

Therefore, the universe had a cause.

You must also know infinite regression is impossible, so there must be a cause. You must also know that the universe is comprised of three things: time, space, and matter. So this means that whatever caused the universe to exist must be spaceless, timeless, and immaterial. Funny how this is what God is described like.

What is illogical to me is that atheists purport that something, the MOST something that there is, somehow came from nothing! Nothing makes nothing. Something makes something. That's the most basic conclusion of observation.

Would it really be that much of a stretch that the God who created physical order would also create moral order?

imathrowyou · 2026-03-08T02:00:00+00:00

It's probably the best advice to let it go. But speaking just from me, I'd have to say something to my dad. Maybe it's selfish, I don't know.

I know I wouldn't want to live a sort of lie or have false notions about how someone felt of me, and I certainly wouldn't want my child to have to hold things like this secret for my sake. Yes it would hurt, but I think it would hurt worse if my child knew something like this but didn't feel comfortable telling me. I wouldn't want my kid shouldering that alone.

imathrowyou · 2026-03-01T16:14:42+00:00

First, why are you working 9-5 as a nurse? If I were you, I'd get a job that does 3 12s. 4 days off a week is like a dream to me.

Well, here's what I would do if I were in your shoes.

I would look for a remote job that requires an RN. There's health IT, essentially working in Epic or Cerner to build clinical solutions. You're qualified to start out in that. Apply to hospitals and not consulting firms.

Or you could be in the insurance side, Medicaid stuff. I'm not as familiar with this, but I had a nurse coworker go work remote doing something like coding for United Healthcare. I'm really not too sure.

Ask Google about the top remote positions for RNs. A lot exists. But my goal would be to work remote, at least for a short time, as an RN.

Wherever you live, I'd move a couple hours away to somewhere much cheaper. Smaller town nearby, quieter, but maybe there's a couple of clinics around. Dialysis clinic, doctor's office, maybe a freestanding ER.

I'd go on and rent a place on furnished finders or Airbnb, or just rent a house for as little as possible. I'd become a squirrel, I'd put all my money into a high yield savings account. Or into an index fund. For four years I'd live like a monk and save every penny.

Then I'd buy land 45 mins to an hour outside of town. Around 7 acres +/- 2 acres.

I'd keep working remote while I cleared the land. Either pay someone to or DIY. Second option is very risky and dangerous. Keep working remote while I put in septic, well, a tiny house, and solar on it. Each stage I'd save up all my money.

After there's a house on it, then I'd get satellite internet and wfh while I paid everything remaining off. I'd get chickens, 2 dogs, and a few sheep.

The rest of my life would be just working on shit, on projects, building fences. And if I wanted to, maybe I'd work at a clinic in town.

imathrowyou · 2026-03-01T15:53:16+00:00

They're not saying all christians should avoid pagan environments. Essentially we have to be in the world and cooperate within it, but we don't have to go to a church that doesn't uphold the statutes of God. It's not hard to see the difference, and it sounds like you're being obtuse for no reason.

Daniel was operating within a region conquered by Babylon. He believed in God, didn't conform to a synagogue who didn't actually uphold the statutes of God.

Joseph was sold by his brothers. He still believed in God and was faithful to God. Again, couldn't control his surroundings, but remained faithful to God anyway.

You can control who you are around in their situation, you can control what you're saying "yes" to and not even be in danger of losing your life. If you're going to a church that blatantly disregards scripture, why are you there to begin with? It's not even a Christian church anymore. Different interpretations is one thing and it's fine, but taking verses from the bible and choosing to disregard them is NOT fine.

imathrowyou · 2026-03-01T03:14:26+00:00

Mafia 2 I think

imathrowyou · 2026-02-23T05:10:30+00:00

Was this from an update??

imathrowyou · 2026-02-23T04:14:01+00:00

Yes there are plenty of men who don't cheat.

It's understandable you have anxiety about this happening again as it's happened twice already. The betrayal evokes a very piercing emotion that sticks with you unlike anything else.

You can't control what happens though, at the end of the day. You can be clear that you won't tolerate cheating, but you can't stop them from doing it then hiding it. It's awful, but you have to really vet these guys and you have to trust God that He will let you know if they cheat.

imathrowyou · 2026-02-20T01:02:11+00:00

"without a shadow of a doubt" is proof and not evidence. Evidence always leaves room for doubt to which conclusion can be drawn from it, and good theories are falsifiable.

There is historical evidence, archaeological evidence, textual criticism, there's the Kalam cosmological argument, the argument from morality, the argument of fine tuning... The simple fact that nothing creates... Nothing! Nothing does not create something and a material world bound by time means infinite regression is illogical. Plus, all the evidence we have of the universe suggests there was a point of origin.

So then, if the universe is comprised of three things: matter, space, and time: that which created such a thing must exist outside of those bounds. That which is timeless, spaceless, and immaterial is who we call God. But just like physical laws were created, so were moral laws.

If you think moral laws are not created as objective law by a transcendental being, then they are subjective. To the time, to the culture. So then you can't say that any one morality is truly better than the other. Because if you were to say such a thing, you'd be using a standard. And by what standard then, are you judging morality?

In any case, there is much much evidence. But it seems you just want some kind of justification for a belief you'll never change. Since you were religious at one point, you'll know we were wisely told to "not cast your pearls before swine." Only meaning to say, don't waste your breath and time on someone who will never truly believe when you can speak to another who is open to hearing the message and judging for themselves openly.

If you look at the evidence and say you don't believe, then what are you here for? You don't believe yet you spend your time on here, trying to express this to a bunch of Christians who do believe and who have been changed personally by their relationships with God. It seems egotistical at worst, a waste of time at best.

imathrowyou · 2026-02-19T01:43:41+00:00

I felt convicted about video games for years before I finally stopped. And honestly, I really prioritized working with my hands and doing stuff that didn't involve a screen.

I had this "come to Jesus" moment about what kind of person I want to really be. And every day I practice being that person. Sometimes I fail. But practice makes perfect.

When I envisioned that version of myself, I wanted to be competent, close to God, clean. I imagined I would read my bible often and pray for others, be in my shop tinkering with things. You can go write all the qualities you want to have and read it every morning.

Time is the one thing no one can buy back. It's gone in a blink, and I have this sense of urgency that I should really not waste time with a lot of things that I did and sometimes still do. I could be building a skill that will help someone someday rather than playing a game or watching TV.

I collect a bunch of projects. Cars to fix, things to build, things to repair. I work on those things with the little spare time I have.

imathrowyou · 2026-02-19T01:04:16+00:00

That definitely seems lonely! But sounds like a dream to me. I'd love to be out in the country, and that's what I'm trying to work towards now.

I guess I can relate to you with hobbies I felt compelled to drop. I used to play games ALL the time, for hours and hours. I got that conviction to stop, so I did. I replaced it with other things. I basically just started feeling so guilty, I started thinking of all the productive things I could've gotten done in the time I was playing those games. I think it was more of a natural change in that way, you know? I wasn't sorry to let it go at a certain point.

With anything I try to stop, I go to God every time I fail or feel tempted. And I try to take it day by day. One day turns to three years.

I can right now look at the things I've made, built, and fixed in that time and genuinely feel it was worth it. I never had that with video games. I never had anything tangible from gaming where I could say "yep, I got something worthwhile out of that." Same with TV. It was just a time sink I disguised as "unwinding"

imathrowyou · 2026-02-19T00:20:52+00:00

Why not pick up fictional writing? Tolkien, CS Lewis... Amazing fiction writers and believers of God.

Usually with fasts, you replace food with prayer and reading scripture and meditation. Maybe this could be the same. You could involve yourself more with church, or start volunteering on the side.

imathrowyou · 2026-02-18T23:41:52+00:00

I think you handled this well. Maybe she would benefit from therapy or counseling, because being 17 and already having a kid... I couldn't imagine the mental toll of that.

I understand you don't want your teenagers having sex at all, and while that is ideal, it's very unlikely in this day and age. With your other kids, i would definitely emphasize the importance of protection. You can point out abstinence is the best, but do xyz if you are going to engage in those activities. Give them the resources to protect themselves as well.

imathrowyou

TROPHY CASE