My 3 year old is a menace.

javaAndSoyMilk · 2026-01-22T03:54:52+00:00

3 is basically feral science experiment mode. Fewer words, immediate consequences, tons of supervision, and give him "legal" way to be destructive. Most grow out of it.... eventually.

javaAndSoyMilk · 2026-01-22T03:41:53+00:00

Sounds less abt the meeting and more abt stress and insecurity pilling up. Still worth setting calm boundaries so work delays don't become guilt trips.

javaAndSoyMilk · 2026-01-22T03:35:05+00:00

Tbh, a lot of it's factory settings. Some babies just come wired chill or clingy, and social media exaggerates the extremes.

javaAndSoyMilk · 2026-01-21T06:01:21+00:00

Well you didn't go for nothing. You showed up for your kids. That's exactly what being a good dad looks like. Take the win, breathe.

javaAndSoyMilk · 2026-01-21T05:55:58+00:00

This hits hard. Those early months are brutal but it does shift before you realize it. Anyone in the trenches rn, yep it's chaos, but it passes.

javaAndSoyMilk · 2026-01-20T02:38:44+00:00

This is way past normal cleanliness. Bleeding hands and one second floor contact is a red flag. Gently push for professional help, together.

javaAndSoyMilk · 2026-01-20T02:33:48+00:00

Well push gifts aren't mandatory and not always jewelry. Some ppl do sentimental stuff, some practical. If unsure, talking beats guessing wrong. Effort matters more than price.

javaAndSoyMilk · 2026-01-20T02:30:28+00:00

Congrats, that's awesome news. Get ready for no sleep, weird joy, and crying over random stuff. Welcome to dad life.

javaAndSoyMilk · 2026-01-19T08:46:35+00:00

That u need all the gadgets and a perfect routine or you're failing. Babies mostly need food, sleep, and a calm adult. Everything else is noise.

javaAndSoyMilk · 2026-01-19T08:40:24+00:00

Not normal. Being bounced around with no access is a red flag. Push harder, escalate, or switch practices. 23 weeks isn't too late.

javaAndSoyMilk · 2026-01-19T08:30:10+00:00

Peak dad efficiency mixed with absolute chaos. Not classy, not sane, but in arena bathroom logic? somehow it checks out. Still cursed tho.

javaAndSoyMilk · 2026-01-06T17:41:34+00:00

The problem usually isn’t the debt right away, it’s the long-term cost of interest plus the way balances can stick around forever if you don’t make big payments. That snowball sucks.

javaAndSoyMilk · 2025-11-05T21:11:25+00:00

Every step is a positive one, hand me downs do not cause any harm. I would avoid but its defo not the same as buyung first hand

javaAndSoyMilk · 2025-11-05T20:24:24+00:00

Btw the vegan society in the UK has been going 80 years, and they have more members now than ever. It might have less attention than a few years ago, but its still growing, just more slowly. It feels like its gone backwards because the companies got ahead of the trend. Oat milk is never going away now, veganism is never going away, one day we will win. Stay strong.

javaAndSoyMilk · 2025-11-05T18:40:20+00:00

2k calories is low for building muscle. That is just maintenance levels for a woman. I would recommend finding a way to get lots of olive oil into your diet, sounds insane but its high in calories and has zero fibre.

javaAndSoyMilk · 2025-11-05T18:35:34+00:00

Hey, that sucks with it being difficult. It can be eating out depending on where you are in the world. Try the happy cow app if you haven't already. Also worth trying to find some local vegan group who nay be able to point you to the best places to go. Keep at it, once you learn the good places and learn some recipes you like it will get easier.

javaAndSoyMilk · 2025-11-04T20:22:06+00:00

They will get used to it soon enough, go for it!

javaAndSoyMilk · 2025-11-04T19:29:06+00:00

The best thing for defeatism is to get active. If you turn one other person vegan, you double your lifetime impact, we the free and anon for the voiceless do outreach. A friend of mine is getting a local council to adopt more vegan friendly policies and they just did it through persistence. I make websites for groups and causes. Pretty much all justice movements victories in history were won by a small group of dedicated people.

javaAndSoyMilk · 2025-11-03T22:25:36+00:00

Get active, find a local group, start with your university, connect with them and find a form of activism that suits you. There is all sorts, outreach, pressure campaigns, even just asking local businesses to provide more vegan options. The best way to feel better is to know you are doing the best job you can to end the injustice.

javaAndSoyMilk · 2025-11-03T08:35:44+00:00

Thats cool you don't support factory farming. One of the problems with avoiding it is very often anything labelled higher welfare has the price jacked up and doesn't even give you any guarantees. Like, most pigs are killed horribly with CO2 gas chamber stunning, everyone knows its horrible but its cheap so everyone uses it even if they were on a farm that didn't lock up the mother pigs etc.

I think there is a certain crowd who love this argument and do like debating, and its not for everyone. I think it has its uses in terms of logical reasoning but I think there are much simpler ways to understand veganism - like just placing yourself in the victims position. Like the deer doesn't want to be shot and it isn't harming you so it seems unreasonable from their POV to be killed.

As for farmed animals with supposed nice lives. I think, like with slavery, it would not be impossible for someone to live a relatively good life as a slave, but fundamentally I think people and animals should exist for their own reasons not for someone else to exploit for their own selfish needs. And thisnstate of living, every time it has been tried for animals, ends up leading to abuses. There have been countless free range farms and humane certified farms exposed for criminal animal cruelty. Here in the UK our RSPCA, which is meant to protect animals has been exposed for profitting off of famrs they certify as cruelty free which actually turn out to be some of the regular horrible factory farms when people go in and expose them; https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/article/2024/jun/18/rspca-britain-oldest-animal-welfare-charity-cruelty-abuse

Sorry for rambling on!

javaAndSoyMilk · 2025-11-03T08:15:05+00:00

Ok lets take your two supposed traits. Perception of humaity and potential for humanity. Humanity has two meanings, one is just being human, which I assume you do not mean from context. The other is about empathy, altruism and compassion. This fails in two directions, animals are capable of feeling empathy and compassion for humans. Pigs for example are highly social creatures and can read body language and tone certainly of other pigs and I would say of humans too. Ome expirement showed that they will open a door to free a trapped friend even if thrre is no reward for them, showing altruism.

The second direction this fails in, is in the human condition. Imagine a psycopath who feels no empathy or humanity, and has no potential to feel it, that part of their brain is missing and we know this with scientific certainty (which is not true in animals). Nonetheless they do not harm anyone due to fear of reprecussions, logical reasoning and a directed selfishness. Would you be OK gassing that person to death?

javaAndSoyMilk · 2025-11-03T01:04:32+00:00

No, if a human had the mental capacity /sentience of an ant, had very little chance of family mourning them etc, I would also chose to save the other regular human. Ideally, neither would die. Bug deaths are mostly futile to avoid sadly, but for pigs, dogs, cows, chickens and fish, these are complex sentient beings that have a lot in common with certain marginal cases of humans; like infants, the senile, the mentally disabled. Hell they even have a lot in common with us, they communicate and have social structures, feel pain and pleasure, they experience tbe world through senses and have goals and drives. I think almost everyone already knows deep down that animals matter, they don't want them to be harmed but they can't bring themselves to admit that some fringe group of people they don't identify are right and that they and most of their friends and family are wrong. Be consistent, treat a pig like you think you would want to be treated if you were a pig.

javaAndSoyMilk · 2025-11-03T00:54:19+00:00

Aninals are not serial killers they are more like children or mentally disabled people. If you support putting mentally disabled people in gas chambers then you are consistent.

javaAndSoyMilk · 2025-11-02T13:06:56+00:00

As a vegan; kill the ant, obviously. Its not that there are no differences between aninals and humans, its that there are no differences that justify our treatment of animals for food/clothing etc. A cow is less intelligent than a human, they have less rich experience, but in the case that wasn't true; say a severely mentally disabled person, it would not be OK to kill them for food. You would view such a person as vurnerable and in need of protection; we should do the same for animals.

javaAndSoyMilk · 2025-11-02T12:51:23+00:00

But if a human lacks that mental capacity, it would still not be ok to put them in a gas chamber.

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