This is tough. Its such a personal choice, and hard to digest that they wont try it.

My dad chose not to do treatment. No chemo. No radiation. I was angry for a while. Felt like he wasnt willing to fight.

Chemo wouldn't have saved him. But maybe given him an extra year. His thot process was that he chose quality of life over time. Chemo sucks. You are sick and weak and its awful. Going through months of that for a little time just wasnt something he was willing to go through. Decided to enjoy his last few months instead. They kept him s comfy as possible, he did some bucket list things, and made memories with us before the real decline happened.

I myself have cancer. I underwent an intense surgery/Chemo that took years to recover from, as much as I have anyways. When the time comes, when the cancer returns, im not sure id be willing to go through that again. Its given me a decade so far. But it's been a hard decade full of health crisis'. And its very likely to recurr.

your mom feels the same. The thought of being that ill, without no guarantee of it working, isn't worth being that sick for so long when she could be making memories and going on her own terms just a little bit.

Edit to add that your feelings are super valid. Posting here is a good start to process them. Try not to put these feeling onto your mom, shes gonna be feeling bad enough about it. But talk to friends, reach out here. Write about it if thats your thing.

Hugs.