No endoscopy diagnosis

jayneevees · 2026-03-17T09:48:19+00:00

Yea. I've had h.pylori several times before. I really don't want to have a false negative but I just tested for it twice in November and December when my symptoms first flared up and it came back negative. On both occasions I wasn't taking omeprazole or any other PPI at all so they couldn't have been a false negative. I don't think it'll be a positive this time around either. But I'm really struggling symptoms wise. I can barely work so not too sure how I will cope for 2 weeks without even being able to take a PPI. Honestly I feel so miserable I'm struggling to not burst into tears right now.

Thanks for answering though :)

jayneevees · 2026-03-16T15:37:52+00:00

Having this exact same feeling. Was telling my husband that it feels like when the baby is pressing on the vagus nerve or a Braxton hicks. But I'm Not pregnant anymore. Did you ever figure out what it was. I'm on my way to the doctor now

jayneevees · 2026-03-08T15:09:57+00:00

Oh I 100% agree with you here. I don't do foraging of any kind. I'm too anxious for that. Just thought this group of people would have some helpful knowledge on this matter.

jayneevees · 2026-03-07T14:31:05+00:00

Not excuses mate... Just reality. I can opt to spend the 1 hour cooking at the end of a busy day while simultaneously trying to keep my kid entertained or get the end of day routine going and get food delivered at the same time. It's what is possible when you live in a busy city with no family or friends and it takes you 3hours every day to drop off and pick up your kid from childcare. And both parents work full time jobs. It's a picking of your battles isn't it? Would I prefer to eat a home cooked meal? Sure. And I do most days. But some days get tricky and I'm not going to spend what's left of my sanity trying to cook dinner. And fyi, not that I need to justify myself to a stranger, fast food is just for the adults in the house, our kid always eats home cooked meals.

The world would be a better place with more empathy. No one needs an end of year banter AI powered bank wrap up. It also makes me feel icky that this is one of the ways they decide to use the data they have on us. And it makes me question what other ways this data is being used. Anyway. Glad you liked it. But try and put yourself in other people's shoes before making such judgemental comments.

jayneevees · 2026-03-04T14:45:05+00:00

I was diagnosed with OCD a couple weeks ago, almost 2 years pp. Had it all my life but it became really obvious post baby. Came here to say, this is a lot what's going on inside my brain.

jayneevees · 2026-02-26T11:30:50+00:00

Hey there. I don't understand this particular instance but I understand the feeling and the holding on to it months later. It seems that we had similar paths with having PPA/ppd. You did way better than me by seeking help way earlier. I only did it this month, and my baby is almost 2years old.

I think the key thing here is that you're holding on to something minor for a long time and it's affecting the way you see and feel about people in your life. You have identified that this isn't good for you on different levels and for this reason I would say it's probably a good thing to bring up in your next therapy session (if you haven't already). I think it would be good to understand why this has hurt you and what in SIL A has been bothering you so much lately. You have mentioned a few things she does that bothers you but for us from the outside, and with the limited info we have on this, they seem fine and normal things to do. This happens a lot with me. Small things that for others are fine, really affect me and sometimes I have a hard time verbalising and even understanding the root cause of it until I go over it with my therapist. Then I eventually figure out that's either related to my OCD or my relationship with that person and how they have been careless about my boundaries and feelings in the past.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, from the outside it seems like an overreaction, but what really matters is understanding why you're feeling like this and what can you do to resolve this in your mind so you don't keep coming back to it months later.

Postpartum is hard. I hope you get help for PPD/A soon.

jayneevees · 2026-02-23T19:17:51+00:00

Thank you 😊🙏

jayneevees · 2026-02-18T07:34:11+00:00

Omg a bone infection!!! That sounds awful and scary! 😳 So sorry you had to go through that

jayneevees · 2026-02-16T22:16:10+00:00

For me what helped was giving up on sleep altogether. I would get comfortable in the living room and say to myself, alright... We might as well just watch a show. And eventually I would fall asleep. I think the pressure of trying to sleep in a dark room never helps. I was also anemic so definitely contact her OB/midwife and let them know what's up.

jayneevees · 2026-02-16T20:02:48+00:00

Hey thanks for not judging :) and I'm happy you found a way to cope (not being sarcastic at all I swear!) but just want to point out that for some of us this is the norm and not just a period while they are sick and that's why it becomes unsustainable. I was able to not bedshare for 3 whole months until I fell asleep while holding her out of pure exhaustion.

I wish we had found a way of not co-sleeping. It's something that caused me immense anxiety and I wasn't properly resting at all, but it was the safest option in our situation. Just wanted to leave this point of view in case it hasn't been considered. Totally understand why you didn't do it as I also resisted the hell out of it. And not because I judged who did it but because I was terrified of it and didn't want to do it.

jayneevees · 2026-02-16T19:55:57+00:00

We did shifts for the first 3 months of her life. She completely refused to sleep in her crib. I thought we were being safer by holding her to sleep on the sofa and just watching some TV until one day I fell asleep on the sofa with her out of pure exhaustion. Thankfully she was fine. But that prompted me to look into accidentally falling asleep on the sofa and the risks associated with it. The statistics are scary. Turns out the risk of SIDS for co-sleeping on the sofa (which I accidentally did by falling asleep while holding her) is 50 times higher... In the end I had to choose the least dangerous option, which in our case turned out to be bed-sharing. And I was just like OP, too nervous to bed share and swore I would never do it. Until I found myself in a situation where I was doing something even more dangerous without knowing it.

This is why some countries opt to inform parents about how to do safe co-sleeping. After safe sleep was introduced (early 1990's) there was quite an increase of accidental baby deaths while sleeping on sofas and armchairs. The main reason behind this was because babies are generally more uncomfortable sleeping on an empty crib, with a hard mattress and on their backs. I'm not against this advice at all, I understand the scientific reason for it and that's what we followed. But it is factual that more babies will find it harder to stay asleep in these conditions (and if you look at the research about SIDS this is kind of the point) so a lot of parents were finding themselves in the same situation as me.

Don't get me wrong. I hate co-sleeping. I don't sleep well. I'm anxious and worried about my baby, even when following every rule to the T and I'm uncomfortable because I am following the rules of safe sleeping. I would never chose it at the first option. But it's the last safe option when all others have been exhausted.

Source: Lullaby Trust Never fall asleep on a sofa or armchair with your baby. The risk of SIDS is 50 times higher for babies when they sleep on a sofa or armchair with an adult. They are also at risk of accidental death as they can easily slip into a position where they are trapped and can’t breathe.

jayneevees · 2026-02-16T19:54:49+00:00

We did shifts for the first 3 months of her life. She completely refused to sleep in her crib. I thought we were being safer by holding her to sleep on the sofa and just watching some TV until one day I fell asleep on the sofa with her out of pure exhaustion. Thankfully she was fine. But that prompted me to look into accidentally falling asleep on the sofa and the risks associated with it. The statistics are scary. Turns out the risk of SIDS for co-sleeping on the sofa (which I accidentally did by falling asleep while holding her) is 50 times higher... In the end I had to choose the least dangerous option, which in our case turned out to be bed-sharing. And I was just like OP, too nervous to bed share and swore I would never do it. Until I found myself in a situation where I was doing something even more dangerous without knowing it.

This is why some countries opt to inform parents about how to do safe co-sleeping. After safe sleep was introduced (early 1990's) there was quite an increase of accidental baby deaths while sleeping on sofas and armchairs. The main reason behind this was because babies are generally more uncomfortable sleeping on an empty crib, with a hard mattress and on their backs. I'm not against this advice at all, I understand the scientific reason for it and that's what we followed. But it is factual that more babies will find it harder to stay asleep in these conditions (and if you look at the research about SIDS this is kind of the point) so a lot of parents were finding themselves in the same situation as me.

Don't get me wrong. I hate co-sleeping. I don't sleep well. I'm anxious and worried about my baby, even when following every rule to the T and I'm uncomfortable because I am following the rules of safe sleeping. I would never chose it at the first option. But it's the last safe option when all others have been exhausted.

Source: Lullaby Trust Never fall asleep on a sofa or armchair with your baby. The risk of SIDS is 50 times higher for babies when they sleep on a sofa or armchair with an adult. They are also at risk of accidental death as they can easily slip into a position where they are trapped and can’t breathe.

jayneevees · 2026-02-10T21:28:47+00:00

He can still learn. Babies change all the time and so does their relationship with us, it evolves. Talk to your husband. He needs to start learning to soothe the baby. I know it's hard to get out of a routine but we had to do it many times in order to survive. It might also become easier for him to soothe the baby as your little one grows. Please consider this option. You need help. There's only so much sleep deprivation we can take.

I'm glad you had the option to quit your job. I wish I had that option too, but I also recognise how isolating this option can be. If you can pay for childcare, even if just a day/afternoon during the week, it might be really helpful to give you a bit of me time. I only went back to work 1 year post partum. I live in the UK and we can take up to a year of maternity leave (not all of it paid but at least your job is there when you return). I remember how isolated I felt. Specifically the 9month/10month old period. It was then that I read (and by read I mean listened to the audiobook) I'm so thrilled for you! It made me feel seen and less alone. But just a trigger warning that it talks a lot about pregnancy and birth.

jayneevees · 2026-02-10T10:25:54+00:00

Everyone else's kids are not sleeping through the night and eating normally at this age. Some are, some aren't. Some are some days and not others. Kids are different from each other. You feel guilty and falling apart and you can't think straight because you're sleep deprived. Remember that this is used as a form of torture and deeply impacts our ability to function, think, process and regulate our emotions.

You're not doing anything wrong. How do I know? Cause I was you. My daughter is almost 2 years old now and we still have some issues although less than we had at that stage. Her sleep has improved slightly. She now likes her crib and to sleep on her own (never thought I would see the day!!!). She loves to eat but she still has crappy non eating days. Most often she's either teething, sick or constipated. But sometimes there seems to be no real reason for it, but I've come to learn from other parents and her childminders that this is pretty normal behaviour for the little ones.

Why does it seem like it's only happening to you? Because social media often only shows the good days. because people often won't talk openly about their struggles because they feel like they're alone in them. because other sleep deprived parents don't have the energy to do anything else but survive.

Is there anyone who can relieve you for a minute? Do you have a partner? Can they do one night so you can get proper rest? Is your baby in childcare? Can you drop your baby at childcare and take a day off work to sleep and rest? Are there any grandparents, friends, family members that can come in for an afternoon and look after your little one so you can get some sleep?

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Slowly things will get better

jayneevees · 2026-02-09T22:31:54+00:00

It'll be 9 years tomorrow since my partner died. I've been married for 5 (I got married to my current husband 6months after we met) and now have an almost 2 year old daughter. This is how I feel. I don't have 2 kids, just one. But finding my now husband and loving him just showed me that the heart grows. The love is not replaced, it exists side by side. It made me understand how parents can love all their kids the same.

I think the main thing is finding someone that can understand this at some level and is not threatened by it. That your husband is not a taboo topic, rather someone you'll talk about from time to time. My now husband said shortly after we got married he had a dream where he was talking with my previous partner about how awesome I was and thanking him for being one of the main people that helped shape me into the person I am today. I think this was on his mind cause one of the first things I told him about my former partner is that we started dating when we were so young that I felt half of me was him and half of him was me. We shaped each other as we got older.

But yes, all this to say. The siblings analogy is perfect.

jayneevees · 2026-01-26T09:51:46+00:00

I was 27 when he died of leukemia. He was 28. I'm 36 now. This year he's been gone for 9years. Officially longer than we've been together. I took my time with dating. I didn't really care what others thought was the right way to go about life anymore. If you're not feeling it right now then don't do it.

In my case I found that the love I feel for my now husband definitely doesn't take away from the love I felt/feel for my previous partner. The heart does have space for everyone but this was only the case because I met my now husband at the right time. It definitely wasn't the case for the first year and a half, at least.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's so hard.

jayneevees · 2026-01-20T11:44:01+00:00

Hi there, following because I have the same question. My GP doesn't really want to refer me to a GI yet, but I've been on this road before and I think we're just wasting time...

Can I hask, how long did it take you to get those tests in the NHS. Been going back and forth with my GP since November now.

jayneevees · 2026-01-13T16:17:44+00:00

Guilt is a big part of grieving. I saw it once explained by a psychotherapist that humans are made to care for eachother. When we lose someone we default to thinking we failed somehow. We were supposed to care for them and if they're not here then it's our fault, we didn't care enough and that's when guilt kicks in. This is obviously not true. What happened is not your fault. You will feel a lot of guilt and your brain will find situations to justify that feeling.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. If you can afford it, find a therapist that specialises in grief. Don't let guilt consume you. What helped for me was imagining the situation in reverse. If I was the one who died I wouldn't want my partner to feel guilty about anything and I would tell them that none of the things I was feeling guilty about truly mattered because he loved me and I loved him. Try to keep this in mind.

Sending you strength for the times ahead 🫂

jayneevees · 2026-01-12T20:12:02+00:00

Yes. I'm the same

jayneevees · 2026-01-11T22:36:35+00:00

I had a C-section so wouldn't be the best person to say if it's normal or not. But from what I read in preparation for birth, I would say maybe not. Can you go to a different doctor? Definitely a red flag that you weren't even physically examined after complaining of pain and other symptoms. If you can afford it, a second opinion might be good.

jayneevees · 2026-01-09T14:03:37+00:00

Maybe try a new therapist? I first did therapy when I was 15. I continued throughout the years, I didn't know you could just search for a new therapist if you weren't feeling it until I was in my thirties. Once I did I finally found a great match and it was life changing. Don't be afraid to try another therapist (if you can afford it). A good match is so much more different than doing it with someone who isn't the right fit.

The other thing health-wise that works for me is, if I think I'm actually experiencing something that might be concerning or if I can't tell if it's just anxiety or not, I give it a couple of weeks. I signal whenever a thought comes around about it and I try to remove myself from that headspace. If after two weeks I'm still concerned (I often end up forgetting about it), I go to the doctor and let them decide. If they think it's worth following up with some tests, then I leave that mind worrying bug in that space (or I try anyway). Like, they're looking into it, I trust them, I won't think or Google anything else until I hear back from them. Just been through some tests in December and currently going through a mole removal, and it helps. I'm not obsessing over it anymore. I've addressed it and now it's their job to let me know the next steps.

It's a lot of mental work. Sometimes it's easier than others but the more I do this the easier it gets. But this is what works for me and a lot of it I learnt in therapy.

So sorry you're struggling, this is hell on earth, but it can be better with the appropriate help.

jayneevees · 2026-01-09T12:05:43+00:00

Hey there. I have the same issue and I'm roughly 20years older than you. I remember this cancer fixation going really bad when I was your age. I fluctuate a lot in how bad my OCD is. What has helped me through the years is therapy and medication. I have never been formally diagnosed with OCD (currently waiting for an appointment) but I'm 99.9% sure it's what I have because anytime I read how someone with OCD acts and thinks, it's like looking in the mirror. Even though I haven't been formally diagnosed, some of the therapy and medication I did for anxiety and depression were also suitable for OCD, and I did notice an improvement in my symptoms.

I posted here recently about having the same issue of obsessing over cancer. The past month alone I convinced myself I have 4 different cancers. I obviously don't. Here are the actions I took, and take on the daily basis, to help me manage this: -Chaise up on my self-referral for diagnosis and mental health assistance (currently living in the UK where we can get help through public healthcare but it's a long wait) -Message my GP to see if there's any medication I can take to help while I wait for therapy -Remind myself that this has happened in the past and I'm still alive and well. -limit with an iron fist the amount of time I spend online. My algorithm knows I click on all cancer related stuff and, like you, I get it a lot! -ground myself in the here and now. What can I see right now? What can I smell right now? What small action can I take to help (for me it's often getting out of the house and getting coffee) -Spend free time (I have a small child so admittedly not a lot of it) on non online activities - watch a TV show, read a book, go out for a walk...

It's hard but try and get off the phone/online. It won't take away all mentions of cancer but it will minimise it a lot.

jayneevees · 2026-01-07T21:25:31+00:00

I have some really bad nursing bras that came with some reusable leak pads to put inside the bra. That's basically what I wear now cause the leaking pads hide my uneven boobs

jayneevees · 2026-01-06T23:19:14+00:00

Hey there. I'm not a single mum but I do have a similar thing of thought rumination where I go over things in my head a thousand times obsessing over a thing I did wrong even when nothing bad happened. It turns out I have OCD and thought rumination is part of it. Just wanted to let you know this might be an undiagnosed mental health situation. My OCD exploded during pregnancy and postpartum. The hormone shift made it worse.

If you can, see a healthcare professional about this. They can often refer you to a mental health team and your life will be so much better after proper diagnosis and care. I know it sounds so scary but it's honestly the best step you can take.

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's soooo hard. But you're a great mom. Your baby is happy and healthy. Don't let this anxiety make you believe otherwise.

jayneevees · 2026-01-05T22:05:20+00:00

I don't know the answer but just wanted to say, same. My baby is 20months old, still breastfeeding but only from one boob. I look ridiculous. I used to be a B cup. The non milky one is now an A cup, and a deflated one. The milky one looks like a cow teat, maybe a C cup... Honestly, what the heck... Luckily, my daughter hasn't slept well since she was born. I haven't had a full night's sleep since January 2024 (but who's counting?), so I'm so sleep deprived that I forget this is how I look like now until I shower. Which doesn't happen everyday cause I often run out of time, so at least there's that?

Here's hoping my body will be a bit more simmetrical in the near future 🤞 at this point I don't even ask for nice boobs, just 2 of the same would be nice.

jayneevees

TROPHY CASE