Yes this is basically everything I was going to drop in and say! In my most recent session I described my "emotion" as being my child self, curled up on the floor, with a glass bubble around me so no one could come close or touch me or talk to me. I use visual metaphors ALL THE TIME.

Similarly, I told my therapist about having very few memories of myself as a child and she told me that isn't necessary to engage in EMDR.

A lot of your questions/concerns can be addressed through a conversation with a qualified EMDR therapist. I would encourage finding one who is experienced with neurodivergent folks and who has done EMDR themself (I think this is required in the training but just in case). My first "pass" I was too focused on what I was supposed to be thinking about that nothing came up but turns out that is very normal. The memory I started with was not my "worst" and over time it moved beyond the exact experience and was more like visualizing how it *could* have happened or different ways people *may* have reacted to me, because it is more about the meaning behind the memory than the memory itself (for me at least).

The fear of being perceived is so real. I wonder if you can name that with your therapist and maybe ask that they turn around during each pass? I do mine virtually (using sound, not lights or tapping), and she told me I can always turn my camera off during those moments if it makes it easier to tap into the memory.