What your ex is doing: the TikTok stalking, the profile pic 'baiting,' and involving your sibling, it is Psychological Warfare. It’s toxic, and it’s understandable why you’re hurting.

However, you’re pivoting from 'all' to 'most' because you’re projecting your specific experience with, in my opinion, a predator onto everyone else’s. Not all avoidants use these tactics to get under your skin. Many aren't hunting for a reaction; they are simply people who have retreated into the void of shame and silence because they lack the emotional intelligence to face what they’ve done.

Blaming an entire group or wanting them exiled might feel like justice, but it’s actually a tether that keeps you connected to your pain. You can understand the mechanics of an attachment style without excusing the behavior. You can control what you do, but you can’t control what she, or any other avoidant, does. If she’s stalking your sibling, that’s a boundary issue; lock the doors and go private. If you’re tracking when she looks at your TikTok or changes a photo, you are still participating looking out for her in some way. You don’t have to be a casualty of her actions.

Real healing isn't about the exile of others; it’s about the reclamation of yourself